Hello.
I read this today:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/4614515.stm
And I’m a bit confused about the state of things.
In case you can’t be bothered to read it (it’s not particularly exciting), it says that 1 in 5 children between the ages of 11 & 19 are being bullied by mobile phones.
Now, I do not and will not condone bullying of any form, but I have never heard of anyone being bullied by phone ever before. Admittedly I’m not actually at school, so I am unaware of many things that (mass media) surveys tell me is happening in the playground – like the vast amounts of crack-cocaine being sold between the kids, the gangs of peadophiles hanging around the school gates ready to kidnap children, not to mention the force feeding of greasy chips by the Government (nothing to do with the parents not making sandwhiches, of course), but I digress.
Now, although I don’t doubt that children’s behaviour and activities have changed over the years, I can’t believe that 20% of children are victims not just of bullying, but of a specific type of bullying.
I’m beginning to believe that the adults who compile reports are actually unaware of what real bullying is.
When I was at school, I was one of only about 6 non-white people in the entire school (in case you’re wondering, I’m a Porto/Anglo Indian/Italian chap). I got bullied pretty much as soon as I stepped through the gates. At the time, it was absolutely terrible, but looking back, I realise that I didn’t have it half as bad as some other people. I know what being bullied is like, what it feels like and also how powerless any teachers or parents are to stop it.
What I also know, however, is that when someone comes up to me and says “cut your hair and have a bath you stinking fucking hippy”, which happens from time to time, that is NOT bullying. If they came back time after time, targetting me as I walked home from work, waiting round the corner for me, THAT would be bullying.
A text message calling someone fat is not bullying. It’s mean, it’s really mean and not fair. It shouldn’t be done, but IT IS NOT BULLYING.
Sometimes peoples’ memories of things will be slightly clouded, especially children. When they were passed the piece of paper with the qestion “have you ever been bullied?” the majority would probably answer “yes”, but this doesn’t mean that their life was made a constant hell all the way through their school life. I was bullied, but I can still look at my school days as relatively happy – but like I say, some had it much worse than me.
The thing that gets me most about the ‘nanny’ culture that’s coming out is that those children who are seriously bullied, who are victims of a sadistic louts most days they are at school, are still going unheard when the kids who have merely been teased are shouting to get their voices heard and drowning out the cries of help from people who actually need it.
It’s the ones who can’t ask for help who need it the most.
peace
Hi,
I would just like to say thanx for everyones advice, as always telling somebody helps!! I actually told my area manager today and she said that that behavour is completely unacepable and she is going to sort it out. So there you go the insicure bully is going down. Thank you. :bounce_ci
And the weekend is here Ave IT!! :weee:
my girlfriend used to work in some data imput place, and the boss incharge there, hazel, was a proper bitch. summin seriously wrong with her. the whole office seem such a shitty place to work, it was dead clicky and the boss had her clicky reptilian mates that used to sit at the front and also used to try bullyin people. there was loads of gossip and back stabbing all the time. it was mostly middle aged woman that worked there cept for gfriend who was about 20 at the time. the boss used to pick on her really bad, not that she was bothered, she just got on with it. but she used to scream at her across the office infront of everyone if she made any mistakes. while at the same time her nephew who was apparently really incompitent got away with everything.
in the end the company closed that office down and offered everyone a transfer to another office in the next town, the boss got offered a transfer, but not as a boss, just as a normal worker. ha which she declined.
last i heard her husband had gone bankrupt and they were well in the shit.
aww shame aint it.:lol_crash
Hay, i just want to make sure you’ve covered your back…
Once they have been employed for one month, all employees are entitled to a written statement of terms and conditions. From 1 October 2004, this statement must include details of the employer’s grievance procedure. The employer can choose how s/he gives these details to the employees, for example, in the contract of employment or as a letter setting out the procedures.
Have you been employed for over a year? and do you have an employment contract?
Under the standard grievance procedure, the employee must send the employer a written statement of grievance, or a copy of it. This is known as a Step one letter. A questionnaire, for example, in a potential discrimination case, does not constitute a statement of grievance. The employee must keep a copy of the letter and proof that it has been given to the employer, for example, s/he may wish to send it by registered post, or deliver it by hand and have someone witness the delivery.
The regulations do not set out how the employee must set out the reason for the grievance. The government has produced a draft standard letter which shows that a grievance letter should be signed and should include:-
1. the name of the employee
2. the name of the employer
3. the date
4. the date of the matter the employee is making the grievance about and
5. details of the actual grievance
6. a request for a meeting to discuss the matter.
By law… you need to follow complaint procedure… Put every bit of communication concerning problems in writting as proof just in case they turn around and dismiss you for a different reason… at least that way, you could still have a case for discrimination and unfair dismissal…
Between an Employment tribunal or ACAS… i would opt for the tribunal.
And the bullying goes on! My next step wil be to write a letter, I have told my area manager who in turn told my manager what I had said to her.
On monday morning me and my manager had a formal discussion which is supposed to involve somebody with a completely unbiased view taking notes, my manager had a person who was completely biased and on her side take notes. I had 2 people in the interview and was made to tell them both what my problem was, the person taking the notes also got involved in the discussion and made it quite clear that she was on her side! Appaerently if my area manager saw the notes she had taken she would rip it up and say it was just “tittle tattle”. Needless to say my manager is denying everything. See I dont no what to do now really because to be fair she has been kind of nice to me these past couple of days, perhaps it was a case of her not realising her actions and now she has been told she may stop. Should I go through with the complaint or should I leave it and see if it starts to happen again?
I’d monitor the situation and ensure that she is not just being nice in the short term.
as you have already “stirred the pot” though the other thing I would do is research your employers immediate competitors and see if they are hiring (check that they do not treat their staff in a worse manner though!). do not however let on you are looking for a new job because of bullying – say its because you want to progresss in your career! If the organisation as a whole is not prepared to be progressive and accept that young people can be good workers then maybe their payback could be seeing you become a manager at a rival store – and eat away at their takings!
is there a big age / culture difference between the two of you? a lot of older people automatically assume that the youth should “respect” them and many refuse to accept that young people have minds on their own – when they stand up for themselves they often whinge about “political correctness” and “lack of discipline”.
Not knowing your situation i can only advise on what i know… How long have you been employed there? what was concluded at the end of the meeting?… have you been given anything in writing?
I would say write the grevience letter… note down everything your not happy about and requesting a metting to try to clear the air at least that way the problem might stand a chance of getting sorted… Seriously, thats my best advise to you… it won’t do no harm and if things go wrong then it’ll help you!
hey guys, just been reading this thread, me and my workmates have just complained to higher management about our ‘assistant manager’…i’m pretty freaked now though, waiting for everything to explode in our faces…we’re just sick of his shit though, he slags us all off to each other, gives us all his work then skives off, speaks to us like 3 yr olds, the list goes on, basically causes a lot of tension in the team….i guess i just wait for the explosion now!! we are so desperate though..HE DRIVES US INSANE!!!!!
:omg: :frown:
without incriminating yourself, what sort of business is this and what ages are involved?
sadly I’ve found this to be a commonplace situation in smaller businesses where there are a lot of younger staff – or perhaps junior staff in their 20s and someone just slightly older but who still has a “laddish (or laddette”) attitude
there’s a lot of competition about particularly with the constant threat of downsizing/outsourcing to most businesses, everyone is trying to fight their corner
its got to the point where I prefer to work in organisations where the managers are in their middle years and a bit more conventionally-minded in their business management methods; even if it does mean I have to wear a tie or go to boring meetings… surprisingly enough particularly if they have more secure jobs it works better as they don’t see you as a threat
I’m lucky though I work in a place where I am respected and also “left to get on with my job” without micromanagement (often though because managers aren’t quite sure of the technical aspects of what I do!)
it could be a lot worse though – I’ve become aware of an incident where a falling out over a start up business has ended up in actual violence, and it looks like not only are there injuries and prison terms for people; the whole venture may fold and everyones dreams are fucked..
well we work in a college and we are all early-mid twenties, he’s about 30 and he’s pretty much the opposite of laddish he’s a gay man that has a liking for dressing like women! i know it could be worse but it’s been such a long time and it makes work such a miserable place to be, i was going home crying this time last year…..i think our boss has actually gone to talk to him RIGHT NOW…………EEEEEEKKK!!!!
perhaps “laddish” was the wrong term, but just because he’s gay wouldn’t remove his competitive mentality which is what I am getting at (this equally applies to women in management positions who often bully subordinates of both genders)
there are plenty of aggressive gay men like that in the media industry where I used to work. as a straight male I had to be careful as well if I complained about their attitude as I could be accused of homophobia/intolerance…
Everything else fits in with this situation I described earlier and its a big problem in the education sector as there are a lot of strong personalities about, and everyone is trying to prove themselves. It needs to be stamped out though or the bad attitudes can carry through to the students…
Eyup Skatty,
make a log of her behaviour as evidence before making any complaint. Not sure who you would complain to unless it is part of a chain. Do you really have to stop there? I know it is undesirable to give in to bullies, but sometimes it can be better to admit defeat. I suffered minor bullying (they probably didn’t even recognise it as bullying) in previous job as machinist (like being at school again, not that I was bullied at school). I was laid off when downturn in economy occured (1998), prompting me to follow my dream. Started media degree, after two years had to get job and am now in process of finishing degree. Every cloud etc. I’m not saying college is the perfect answer for everyone, but I’ve now turned 40. I presume you are younger and could well find that there are better opportunities out there.
Keep smiling and DLTBGYD!
I have to say I have been bullied in more than one of my work places before. In my first ever job I had the guy who owned the places daughter as an assistant manager. I was supposed to be a trainee travel consultant .. trainee being the word but i actually ended up training myself as I was made to dust shelves and all the stuff a cleaner should do. Anything I did was reported back to her daddy. She would put me down all the time in front of clients and everyone. I just sat back and took it but one day I was taken aside and told after 11 months and 2 days that I had done a fantastic job but they were letting me go. I was ready to let it go but my dad was not. We went to the CAB ( citizens advice Bureau) and they took on my case. I ended up settling out of court and got money i could have never got in court.
I then later on worked for another company and I ended up working for a manager who worked for the above company and she treated me like crap. Well she told in front of all the call centre staff that i had done something wrong when she should have taken me into another room. I had done nothing wrong but stand up for myself about a booking worth £12000 that I had loads of work on. She then said I was spoilt just because I got a lift to work from my folks because public transport was crap where I lived. She should have known she lived in the same place as me!!!
I complained to my managing director and he did nothing but set up a meeting with my manager.. she said she would do the same again… I gave up after being upset and depressed for 4 months and handed in my resignation. Loads of people did the same but looking back it was a cop out but I happy now.
It is different with different jobs depends what you think is the best though.
If I was you I would make her life hell she is obviously jealous of the good work you are doing but unfortunatly she has friends in the right places.
All I can say is keep at it babes … the saying is true it is easier to find a job from a job xxxxxxxxxx
PLUR – Doing it the old skool way x t’rah
Hey, I have a new job!! One that is monday to friday! 9-5 cant wait I can actaully have a social life again and begin doing proper things at the weekend! I find myself just going to the local places coz I have work the next day!! Now I can do wot I want and if I want a weekend off I dont have to take is as part of my holiday! and I get all of the bank holidays off over xmas to! Happy new year to me!! :cloud9:
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