Forums › Love, Sex & Relationships › Major age difference =/
ok well…ive liked this girl for quite awhile now, we have stayed good friends for the past two years, we like each other equailly but theres a few issues which i just cant seem to get around……….
well for starters im 20 and shes 15……it wouldnt matter so much if i was like 25 and she was 20………but i think she is very mature for her age though and thats probably y i like her compared to alot of females my age.
another major problem is that shes one of the my best friends little sister…..and i think he may have a little hint in the back of his mind that we like each other, but i remember the very first time her and i met, we were sorta talking and hugging and whatnot, and he got really pissed off about it and basically dragged her home without saying a word…….and bcuz most of my other friends have grown up with her and her brother since childhood, there all basically close, and they basically wasn’t all for the idea of me and her hugging and stuff………..one of my friends basic words were ”go near her and ill break you’re legs”…………not very supportive coming from a friend that i’ve known all my life……..
so ive just posted this on here just to give people a view of the situation im in at the moment and its really hurting to know that im going through all this because i dunno wot 2 do. should i tell my friend that i like his sister? i did say to her though because she is at that age where shes got exams and shes reli bright, i wouldnt wanna go out with her until after her exams have done….but then i might be off to university at that time………but bleh……..
………..any view or comments would be much appriciated, thanks for you’re time.
/Hyper
same age difference between me and my fella except he’s 27 im 22 though my mate kev’s girlfriend was 15 when he got with her and he was 21.
I personally would talk to her brother both of you maybe tell him you both have feelings for each other but haven’t done anything yet as you don’t want to upset people or you know something long those lines, but i guess at the end of the day you just have to do what makes you both happy.
with a girl <16 there is always the risk of a bloke (even in his own teens) both being subject to vigilanté attacks and unwanted attention from the authorities, especially with all the nonce/grooming hysteria (bear in mind loads of offenders are being nicked who are only in their 20s)
Society always tends to blame the bloke as well even if both partners are equally willing.
The law does appear to be actually being enforced these days, perhaps as a backlash against “childhood ending too soon”
ironically with older people no one gives a shit, there are 10-20 year age differences amongst middle aged/elderly couples or even those in their late 30s/early 40s…
Its still illegle though its not a major age diffrence if she was a couple of years older at the end of the day shes still a school girl.
A bloke who was driving for our crew last year was trying to make a point that age dont matter if a girl had passed puberty the sick fucker is 42..:you_crazy:you_crazy
He dont drive for us no more and aint welcome at our partys!!!!
there is also a worryingly unclear bit in current British law. The age of consent may be 16, but youths aged 16-18 are still classed as children so an angry parent can still claim that their youths are being groomed if they don’t approve of the relationship with an older person, even someone just slightly older (it might be difficult to get a case through Court but cops can act on suspicion..)
He dont drive for us no more and aint welcome at our partys!!!!
too right. if cops so much as suspect any sort of “child protection” issue amongst an “alternative group” they can actually use this as an excuse to override all sorts of human rights/privacy protections and justify intense surveillance…
the cops in the East of England region (as well as NHS/Social Services) are hinting that they are looking into this aspect of the club/party scene (particularly due to the young age of many people attending raves these days). all these agencies work together and exchange data nowadays.
too right. if cops so much as suspect any sort of “child protection” issue amongst an “alternative group” they can actually use this as an excuse to override all sorts of human rights/privacy protections and justify intense surveillance…
the cops in the East of England region (as well as NHS/Social Services) are hinting that they are looking into this aspect of the club/party scene (particularly due to the young age of many people attending raves these days). all these agencies work together and exchange data nowadays.
I’ve been made to look the bad guy in this as well! But his comments and other circumstances dont make for happy reading. Its best to nip it in the butt before theres anymore evidence.
We had a case like this in Cornwall in 97 where a guy whod actualy been on the travling and festival scene for years was grooming young lads on sites and though he’d been fucked off from one site he’d go to the next as information was not shared.
He finaly got caught bang to rights and got his justice traveler style. I still feal that the law should of been brought in on this one.
Your point on party goers age is a good point…
yeah its just the akwardness between me talking to her brother because we’re really good friends………..but me and this girl have talked about alot……….like the fact that she is under 16 so i said to her i would be adult enough to not have sex with you until you’re at the right age or ATLEAST until she is ready…but that is the least of my worries……….i would like to wait until she is a little bit older but im just afraid of loosing the spark between us, like the fact that i won’t go out with her probably will give her the impression that i don’t wanna go out with her at all.
not trying to be big headed but we’re very grown up and i think she is quite mature for her age so i dont think me and her would be the problem………..its the issue of getting around her brother…….as well as my friends………
well its like everyone has been saying because she is under 16 it wouldn’t be her that would have to press charges it could be her parents, but like i said before its something you want to do and you don’t think either of you could wait a year or two then best to sit down and talk to the family imo.
not trying to be big headed but we’re very grown up and i think she is quite mature for her age so i dont think me and her would be the problem………..its the issue of getting around her brother…….as well as my friends………
sack it off pall, wait till shes over 18 you’ll just make problems otherwise.
Around summer time last year i was getting very suspicious that a mate of mine who is a year younger than me was seeing my little sister who was 15 at the time….. He is one of those very secretive people so i didn’t tend to ask questions because i knew he would just lie if it were true…. until one day i was almost certain he was seeing her….. So one night me and him had a night in with a few biscuits, some weed and the laptop with unlimited films, music etc….. I wouldn’t normally do something like this as im a nice guy and respect peoples privacy but he left the room fto take a piss and i opened up his msn list just to get my facts right and then saw my sisters addy….. I waited till we was both extremely buzzing to confront him because i knew then he would open up and tell me everything without hesitation, I just turned round to him and said “is there something you need to tell me mate” and straight away he knew what i was talking about and responded with “is it time to have a man to man talk” and we talked for hours about it….. I was a bit annoyed that him and her had kept it from me for so long but i was ok with the fact that they were together aslong as my sister was happy…. their not together now, i think the whole age thing is what made things difficult.
thanks for all the replies, more than i expected lol.
yeah i think that i’m just gunna wait a few more years, ya never know she might find a nice guy her own age, and vice versa…………but if we truely do like each other then i guess we can make something happen in a few years time.
i suppose during the meantime, i just wanna stay good friends with her but not mislead her in any way, and maybe try and have a good talk with her brother, i said to him we needed a night in with a half dozen bottles of wine, some good music and perhaps some blapping on the good o xbox 360 😉 lol. maybe if that night comes i might feel abit more comfortable talkin 2 him about it.
thanks for all you’re support, i feel a little more comfortable talking about it on the net tbh instead of to one of my so called ‘friends’ , theres only one of my friends who ive actually spoke 2 about this and she cheered me up by saying ‘ i hope it grows into something good’
hope it works out for you hun and it turns out to be worth the wait, you never know you may find someone else when you least expect it
cheers m8 =) well unfortunately, you cant get everything you want in life, so im just gunna have to face the facts that we cant go out, even if it means at the moment, and to be completely honest, shes a really smart girl, in year 10 and already doing some GCSE’s so i wanna see her do well. ya never know, we might just be extremely good friends, i find it easy to talk 2 her and we have lots in common. except she dont like dance music, shes more of a emo/rocker 😛 lol
ahh the great music divide lol well if she is worth it like i said she will still be there in a couple of years time
Yeah hang in their mate, your both still very young and have plenty of time for things to change, she may even come to like diffrent genres of music as she gets older. I went through a “rude boy” phase back when i was in school and then came to realise i looked and acted like a twat 😉
lmao, i remember them days, good old high school……….i was searching through my C.D collection i had found in the loft and found some of the rarest shit ever………..so solid crew………….now thats what i call music 50……maroon 5’s album………my god, i was a proper chav back them….well wot we use 2 say ‘townie’ 😛
though i am passionate about my music i love everything from rock/metal/emo/acoustic to dance/jungle/breakbeat/techno.but to find them old C.D’s bought a sad look on ma face hahahaa
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Forums › Love, Sex & Relationships › Major age difference =/