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  • Personal space isn’t an anything, as long as people are away from our face and eyes we don’t mind it, it’s a hangover from the reptilian brain, the very core of our involuntary actions and the things that keep us alive, and it used to be a very important survival instinct.

    I like “spending time with myself”, give me time to think about stuff I normally would get sidetracked from thinking about If I had loads of people around me., But then I like to hang about with people as well. Imo it’s about getting a balance between the two. Some people get really lonely when they are on their own, so they prefer to surround them selves with loads of people (normally if they are brought up in a house with loads of brothers sisters they feel like this I’ve noticed). Being an only child myself I’ve been used to spending time on my own my whole life, and quite enjoy it.

    I like my personal space, mainly because I’m useless in social situations and because I’m not overly social.

    At school I remember when they did a PSE lesson on personal space. They said someones personal space can be any size. Its the area that you feel safe in. Um this is hard to explain. It can be any size and its judged on how close you feel comfortable with another person being in. If someone violates your personal space it is bad.

    Bollocks I wish I had paid more attention in them lessons.

    This attempt at explaining has been a big fail TBH.

    @DaftFader 483325 wrote:

    I like “spending time with myself”, give me time to think about stuff I normally would get sidetracked from thinking about If I had loads of people around me., But then I like to hang about with people as well. Imo it’s about getting a balance between the two. Some people get really lonely when they are on their own, so they prefer to surround them selves with loads of people (normally if they are brought up in a house with loads of brothers sisters they feel like this I’ve noticed). Being an only child myself I’ve been used to spending time on my own my whole life, and quite enjoy it.

    Mate i’m talking about a kinetic thing haha, not being by yourself. Basically imagine if it was the norm to give someone a hug when you met them, don’t you think that’d be good?

    @p0ly 483303 wrote:

    Personal space is a made up thing which keeps people less connected

    +1
    @p0ly 483303 wrote:

    to touch someone is to connect and puts you on a better level

    connecting seems more natural without imagined lines

    @p0ly 483303 wrote:

    But really people shouldn’t be afraid to touch someone

    no but feeling free one day can be somewhat embarrassing the next :p

    @p0ly 483365 wrote:

    Basically imagine if it was the norm to give someone a hug when you met them

    when i was in israel this is ‘the norm’ with friends, england is just a bit cold and distant with a ‘lets hide inside cos its fekkin wet again outside’ mentality

    I was reading some psychology article not so long ago which mentioned using touch to really get in with people, like just using small touches can make such a significant difference in being with someone the way you connect.

    Some people abuse the touch. I mean, they’re all huggy, happy, clappy people. Ask them to help YOU and they run a mile – they’re just grabbing the energy off you.

    Culture has a lot of influence here. The Bibilical limit is “2 cubits distance” between everybody.

    North European/Anglo Saxon culture is very non contact. Caribbean/African culture is very pro-contact. Mediterranean tends to be formal kissing on the cheeks. Traditional Chinese Neo-Confuscianist is no hand contact between man and wife. Culture’s vary a lot in this. Depends partly on acceptable violence level in that culture or subculture.

    With me, I try to maintain my cool when contact is initiated. People start over using it to grab energy then I bloody well take it back.

    Fucking psi-vamps. OK, I vamp too. But I don’t pretend when I do it that I’m a “nice” person really.

    Honesty and truth can be ugly sometimes. And yes, sometimes a caress is much more effective than a bear hug.

    I’m happy to bear hug and I’m happy to greet females by gently rubbing my lips over their fingertips. Depends on social context (like, if she’s got an Significant Other already then that’s clearly a play, but if they’re multiple partner sexual OK, it’s not an issue).

    Judge each situation as it arises. Recognise and learn when you go overboard – and recognise and learn when others are taking off YOU without consent.

    @p0ly 483370 wrote:

    like just using small touches can make such a significant difference in being with someone the way you connect.

    touch is powerful. our whole bodies are tuned into it, but we’re in the main,- brainwashed out of it… its in all different areas of life and is something that can show that you actually care.

    @Pat McDonald 483379 wrote:

    North European/Anglo Saxon culture is very non contact. Caribbean/African culture is very pro-contact. Mediterranean tends to be formal kissing on the cheeks. Traditional Chinese Neo-Confuscianist is no hand contact between man and wife. Culture’s vary a lot in this. Depends partly on acceptable violence level in that culture or subculture.

    Being of Oriental ancestry but English by birth and raised in often less savoury parts of London and SE England, I tend to have a “siamese cat” attitude – if I don’t know or trust people I am wary of suddent touches but am OK with it from trusted friends. I do tend to lead a more solitary lifestyle nowadays but thats because the social life in my current town is neither fun nor safe.

    Auch wenn du am Abgrund stehst, und gar nichts mehr verstehst,
    wachen Engel über dich, halten dich im Licht und lassen dich nie fallen.

    @General Lighting 483383 wrote:

    if I don’t know or trust people I am wary of suddent touches

    dont go out with p0ly then

    @Pat McDonald 483379 wrote:

    Some people abuse the touch. I mean, they’re all huggy, happy, clappy people. Ask them to help YOU and they run a mile – they’re just grabbing the energy off you.

    Culture has a lot of influence here. The Bibilical limit is “2 cubits distance” between everybody.

    North European/Anglo Saxon culture is very non contact. Caribbean/African culture is very pro-contact. Mediterranean tends to be formal kissing on the cheeks. Traditional Chinese Neo-Confuscianist is no hand contact between man and wife. Culture’s vary a lot in this. Depends partly on acceptable violence level in that culture or subculture.

    With me, I try to maintain my cool when contact is initiated. People start over using it to grab energy then I bloody well take it back.

    Fucking psi-vamps. OK, I vamp too. But I don’t pretend when I do it that I’m a “nice” person really.

    Honesty and truth can be ugly sometimes. And yes, sometimes a caress is much more effective than a bear hug.

    I’m happy to bear hug and I’m happy to greet females by gently rubbing my lips over their fingertips. Depends on social context (like, if she’s got an Significant Other already then that’s clearly a play, but if they’re multiple partner sexual OK, it’s not an issue).

    Judge each situation as it arises. Recognise and learn when you go overboard – and recognise and learn when others are taking off YOU without consent.

    It’s not like people are stealing it and running away, don’t be so selfless share the …. ‘energy’…

    @p0ly 483390 wrote:

    It’s not like people are stealing it and running away, don’t be so selfless share the …. ‘energy’…

    I think you meant “selfish”. Well, put it this way – I’m trying. I’m trying really hard, in spite of an awful lot of shitty past, the vast majority of which I did not start or have anything to do with.

    Sometimes I just fall over to get energy back. No drink or drugs, I’m just exhausted. Only so much I can share at one time.

    @Pat McDonald 483391 wrote:

    I think you meant “selfish”. Well, put it this way – I’m trying. I’m trying really hard, in spite of an awful lot of shitty past, the vast majority of which I did not start or have anything to do with.

    Sometimes I just fall over to get energy back. No drink or drugs, I’m just exhausted. Only so much I can share at one time.

    I meant to say try and be more selfless it can make you feel better about your life. Also it’s good karma points (i don’t believe in karma as a cosmic force, but if you’re selfless people will notice it and there will benefits).

    @p0ly 483365 wrote:

    Mate i’m talking about a kinetic thing haha, not being by yourself. Basically imagine if it was the norm to give someone a hug when you met them, don’t you think that’d be good?

    Oh yeah I totally agree, I hug almost all my mates when I see them, if not a shake of the hand or a kiss on the cheek. Human contact is essential for a healthy mind imo.

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