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Don’t mock the bald dude – or God will set *she bears* on you!

Forums Life Spirituality, Morality & Religion Don’t mock the bald dude – or God will set *she bears* on you!

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  • they were also talking about bears on RMNL; and vaguely recalled these animals got mentioned in the Bible quite a bit.

    Bears turn up in just about every religion, not surprising as they are big and scare people. Religious folk (who were in many ancient times also the first zoologists) often suggest it is best to keep on the right side of them at least until you end up in the afterlife; where they (as well as tigers, lions etc) are supposed to live in peace with you.

    I had forgotten exactly where they were mentioned in the Bible so decided to search out of curiosity (it doesn’t seem to be a coincidence that the more religious European countries tend to be monitoring the movements of bears in the 21st century).

    They did not teach me this in junior school – it might have been viewed as too scary even by 1970s/80s standards and there was more Angst over child safeguarding in male dominated institutions (not just faith groups either) than bears – modern translations now make it clear the “kids” were teenagers/young adult men who only got “slightly clawed up”; and they were old enough to know they should behave better.

    Elisa (who is male although the name sounds androgynous) was already supposed to be walking up to Heaven because the Holy Ghost has let in a hole in the Firmament. Weather is also supposed to appear via this hole; so he would have to walk though a storm wind (of the kind that Germans announce with “strongwind stormwarning”) so he must quite rightly been very cross with 42 lads taking the mick as well as wind blowing down on his bald head. It appears hats were not invented back then.

    I am not sure myself why why he was walking from Bethel to Heaven; maybe he was looking after the bears for some deity (Bears would be equally likely to wander between afterlifes of different religions the same as they regularly cross national borders on Earth).

    Catholics would eventually let the 42 knaves into Heaven; but only after they had repented their sins in Purgatory, been made to clean the woods and cleared up every last bit of bear crap into 25 kilo sacks and weighed the lot in with all the Popes (264) currently in Heaven checking they haven’t missed any of it. (they’d still have to be nice to Elisa, as the bears would be in Heaven with him…)

    23 He went up from there to Bethel; and while he was going up on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!” 24 And he turned around, and when he saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. And two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys.

    Vanuit daar ging hij naar Betel. Toen hij de weg naar de stad opklom, kwamen er jongens uit de stad die hem spottend toeriepen: ‘Klimmen maar, kaalkop! Klimmen maar, kaalkop!’ lisa keerde zich om en toen hij de jongens zag, vervloekte hij ze met de naam van de heer. Onmiddellijk kwamen er twee berinnen uit het bos, die tweeënveertig van die jongens verscheurden.

    23 Und er ging von dort hinaufnach Bethel. Als er nun den Weg hinaufging, kamen kleine Knaben zur Stadt hinaus; die verspotteten ihn und riefen ihm zu: Kahlkopf, komm herauf! Kahlkopf, komm herauf! 24 Da wandte er sich um, und als er sie sah, fluchte er ihnen im Namen des Herrn. Da kamen zwei Bären aus dem Wald und zerrissen 42 Kinder.

    23 Il monta de là à Béthel; et comme il cheminait à la montée, des adolescents sortirent de la ville, et se moquèrent de lui. Ils lui disaient: Monte, chauve! monte, chauve! 24 Il se retourna pour les regarder, et il les maudit au nom de l’Eternel. Alors deux ours sortirent de la forêt, et déchirèrent quarante-deux de ces adolescents[.

    But dude, it’s ok. Now we have hunting rifles. And wigs.

    To say they were the 1st zoologists is a bit mad, back then EVERYBODY was religious, especially the more educated that learned much of everything in the church, or some sort of religious cult. They will have been the 1st mathematicians, scientists, engineers and probably many thing for a significant portion of history.

    @requiem 702624 wrote:

    back then EVERYBODY was religious, especially the more educated that learned much of everything in the church, or some sort of religious cult. They will have been the 1st mathematicians, scientists, engineers and probably many thing for a significant portion of history.

    this is true; in those days scientists studied a much wider variety of subjects than today; and often got free travel on sea going vessels (hence why just about every word to do with the sea, science or religion is similar in a variety of North European languages). Up to University level and beyond was always faith based.

    However in modern times comparatively few people below age 35/40 (unless they have been sent to a faith-based school) in Europe and many other parts of the world are taught this; especially due to a backlash against mainstream religions in Europe and the negative effect extremists which often leads folk to believe that “religious people do not agree with science”.

    The online communities are increasingly divided between secular and religious people which doesn’t help matters either.

    A lot of pre Christian faiths also respect (and often pray to) bears; not surprisingly they originate are from countries where bears were (or still are) common (and kneeling in prayer in front of a bear could stop you being attacked as they only attack threats and don’t eat people).

    I was surprised to learn there are still so many religious Universities in Europe, many with well respected science faculties; the Catholic ones in Belgium are particularly good for finding out info about stuff like ethical hacking and reverse engineering (you do need to know the local languages; the best stuff isnt’ always translated to English).

    So my spirit guide animal is a bear … interesting.

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Forums Life Spirituality, Morality & Religion Don’t mock the bald dude – or God will set *she bears* on you!