Hi everyone,
A few days ago i had my first trip on mushrooms, but i didn’t like it at all!!! I was about to lose my mind, i just wanted it to stop, but thinking of that just made it even worse.
A friend of mine was going to drive to a smartshop to buy some shrooms. i’ve always wanted to try it, so i’ve asked him to bring back some for me to and an other friend of mine that wanted to try them also. So afterwards, when my friend got back from the shop, we started eating them right away. i cant tell how much grams i’ve been eating, at the shop they sell them by portions, so we’ve splitted such a portion in half.
At first everything was ok, i was haveing a good time. laughing with everything, it all sounded and looked so funny. But then suddenly my friend started to punch and kick in the air, saying he felt like sparring with someone. just for fun. He walked towards me and asked me to kick him while he was holding his guard up. But i just couldn’t, i didn’t have the strenght, i just wanted to relax,do nothing and enjoy the trip. He started to get a bit mad and kept asking me to kick him while jumping around me like a boxer. It started to make me feel uncomfortable. Why couldn’t he just let me be? Then he said if i didn’t kick him, he would kick me. And so he kicked me a couple of times untill i would kick him. Eventhough it wasnt hard, and i knew he just wanted to play, i started to get so confused. Not really knoweing what was happening as he kept kicking me, thousands of thaughts went through my mind in a few seconds of time. its hard to explain how i felt, i slightly started to panic.
This is when it all started to go wrong. I got so paranoid, haveing the feeling everybody who was walking on the street was looking at me. I didn’t know where to look, to go, ect. so i just hid my head in my jacket and let my friend lead me out of the park towards home. Hopeing people would stop looking at me if they didnt see my face. i thaught they all saw i had shrooms and i got affraid of the police and such.
I was so happy when we finally arrived home, away from all those peoples. At home is where the badest part of the trip began. I was still tripping well, seeing colors and faces on my wall, everything was so curly and bended. But something weird happened. It was like i was thinking of 100 thoughts at the same time, i got so tired of it. I tried to distract myself by enhaceing my trip with fluo colored posters, and stuff like that. But nothing worked, my mind kept going on and on. not resting for a bit. As i was thinking of a way to stop that, i realised i was talking and argueing with myself. Not outloud, but inside my head. It was like there were two different people inside my head, both discusting and argueing about what i should do, where i should go, ect. They were controlling, manipulating me. I didnt have a will on my own, they descided everything for me. But the kept on argueing and fighting for hours in my head, i could hear them. It drove me insane, i wanted the trip to stop so much, but it became even worse every second. I layed down on my bed, thinking if i could get some sleep, it would be over by the time i wake up. But i couldnt sleep at all, when i closed my eyes i started to see shapes and colors and such. So i was just laying in my bed, waiting for it to stop. it was the only thing i could do…….
Now i was woundering what went wrong?? My mental state is fine, i dont feel depressed or anything at all. We were sitting practicly alone in the park, and afterwards alone at my place. With my two best friends, who are the people I thrust the more and feel the safest with.
Cause i would like to try it again, i really liked it at the beginning before it started to go wrong. But i’m affraid it will turn out like this time.
Did anyone ever had something simular or am i just reacting strange on them?
(Btw, sorry for my bad writeing, i speak frensh and my english isnt really that good. I just hope you could understand a bit of what i tried to tell.)
¤Greetzzzz¤
mate, you speak(type) better english than most people on here, no worries.
as for your darkside trip, you reacted in a totally normal way to them, what shrooms do is enhance your mood and emphasise thiongs you dont normally see. that trip sounds really hard, no fun at all. i know you said you dont have psychological problems, but you are describing is paranoia (hiding in your coat) and scitzophenia (talking to yourself). now my personal position is that every one has two conflicting sides to their persona`lity, known as the duality of man. nothing to worry about, so long as you know that both sides of the arguement are really you. once you start beleiving that there is an outside influence, or a seperate person inside your head, thats skitzophenia. and worrying.
as i said, you had a normal reaction to shrooms, but the trip was darkened by your mental states. the way i fend off those deeply confusing moments is to reassure myself is that if i think i’m going mental, then its because of the drugs, that i took to simulate insanity. you must remember, its all coz of the shrooms. to me the danger point is when you start doubting that its the shrroms taking you over, but that its just you who is mental. danger danger.
i would not reccomend you taking shrooms untill you have some greater understanding of the factors which fucked your trip. why did your freinds request freak you out so much? why were you bothered if the public sees you, even if they know you’re on trips? and most importantly, what were you arguinmg about in your own head? it sounds like your subconcious was tryna tell you something.
good luck, man, and keep us posted…
disclaimer: all the above info is gained off random people, and is in no way a scholarly or proffesional veiwpoint.
Hi use,
Those two voices in my head, i knew they were because of the shrooms. Thats why i wanted the trip to stop so much. i knew it would be over as soon as the trip is, but it didn’t really make a difference, those two voices were still there. Not shutting up for one second. Thats why they drove me like that. They were argueing the whole time about stupid things like when we went home, one of the two opposed wanting to stay outside a bit longer. Or argueing about which way was the best to take home, fighting about who was right and wrong. Yelling and shouting the whole time against each other. The whole trip through, i can assure you when you have that feeling of two voices beeing in constant conflict inside your head, hearing them the entire time….i couldnt take it anymore. Espescially because i didnt have a will on my own, i was like a zombie controlled by those to voices. But the one said left, and the other said right. So when i listened to the first one, the second starting to shout at me saying i have to listen to him and not the other one, both doing so to me, and argueing between each other because i didnt listen to one of them. Thats why i couldnt handle it anymore, always those yellings and fightings inside my head while i was in constant conflict with myself never knoweing who i should listen to cause whatever i chosed was wrong.
I was so tired, it was so exhausting for my mind. i really needed to rest but i couldnt.
about that paranoid beeing, it was because i thaught everyone was looking at me. Like i’ve just did the most horrible crime ever. Like some kind of outcast, i saw them all looking so mad to me, pointing and whispering against each other while keeping an eye on me. I dunno, i just didnt want people to see it, i cant explain why. Its not because of drugs, when i take pills or stuff like that and i walk on the streets i dont really care, but this time was different. Shrooms are different, you would say.
But at the beginning of the experience everything was all good, i really enjoyed it. thats why i would like to try it again, hopeing it would be as great as it was then, but then the entire trip throught. But i’m just so scared its going to happen again. Damnit, i just started to cry because the trip didn’t want to stop. i was allready tripping for four hours then. Four hours, second by second, not once a bit of peace and quiet….
sounds like you are coming to terms with it, i have to say that while i recognise the paranoia and the sense that the trip was going on forever, and being drained by it, the severity that you endured is exceptional, i would say.
the trick with halucenogens is that, you are right, theyre different, in that they truly enhance all you mood, not just the good stuff like mdma does. this is why its important to do them in the right setting, in the right frame of mind with the right people. now it seems to me that with you best freinds in the park is a pretty ideal place and company, so maybe there was something on your mind when you started tripping? or maybe the park was a bit crowded for comfort? i dont know, but i think finding something that you can “blame” the bad trip on is doubly beneficial. good luck, its worth the mission (i also kind of beleive that shrooms show you the way, so its always worth working out what they are trying to tell you- i remember one of my trips made me totally disgusted by the concept of posesions, and helped me see how i could live with far less and be happy)
erowid.org is really helpfull as it has a lot of “trip reports” which can help put your experience in context.
happy head travels!
HI Nootjes…
Please don’t be too frightened by this experience – when I was first using LSD and psychedelics I had similar feelings and get them sometimes with other drugs.
Also people have so much negative anti-drugs programming put into their heads “drugs are bad. drugs will make you mad”, its easy to feel guilty about taking anything… and if the city park was crowded its easy to get paranoid about other people.
IMO a lot of the psychological problems caused by psychedelic drugs are because people have been made paranoid of them before they even take them. Also as a trip goes on, particularly if you have other time pressures the next day and/or are getting tired, these can make paranoia worse.
I know exactly what you mean, it is like one of those cartoon films when you have a devil and angel characters argue about what another character should do, and you think they are having a bout of fisticuffs inside your own head!
Eventually, you learn to tell these characters in your head to go find some place else to have their fight, and leave you to get on with enjoying yourself.
if u ever want to come down from a trip take vitamin c powder or tablets . u just have to remind yourself u are in a altered reality trip when you are tripping . and that nothing will hurt you . i saw everyone s auras when i tripped and could tell what everyone was thinkin and about to say also i had an out of body experience . it was amazing . stay in control and flow with it rather than letting it control you . sit back and enjoy .
Halucinogens aren’t for everyone, maybe they’re just not your thing…
well said that man. drugs are a choice, i have several mates who have been to loads of our free parties and mash ups stone cold sober, and are just as insightful and fun as the rest of people.
i’ve seen people pressured into drugs that werent their cup of tea, a mate of mine,a girl, tried to keep up with a complete wreck-head on lsd, and has really screwed her head up really badly. shes abit of a nightmare if she gets at all high now.
the human mind is an awesome thing, and we are just putting stuff in our body that we cant really know what it is, it definitely should not be taken lightly.
i’ve seen people pressured into drugs that werent their cup of tea, a mate of mine,a girl, tried to keep up with a complete wreck-head on lsd, and has really screwed her head up really badly. shes abit of a nightmare if she gets at all high now.
the human mind is an awesome thing, and we are just putting stuff in our body that we cant really know what it is, it definitely should not be taken lightly.
that IMO is the number one thing which keeps prohibition going in the EU when it should be abandoned. Not only can some people not check themselves, they drag others down with them by peer pressure, and the fallout from this leads to backlash and even liberal-minded people calling for drugs clampdowns.
if we do not want the cops and politicans to regulate us, we must regulate ourselves. Education, knowing your limits, not trying to push people beyond theirs and knowing when to stop is the answer.
Drug taking is not a competitive race – there are no trophies for taking the most – apart from either a headstone, or the key that locks shut your cell or secure hospital ward.
last time i took mushrooms i was just chillin listnin to music and exploring and it was all good.
the next thing, im suddenly in my dead dads state of mind at the age of 14. i wernt expecting that. just popped up from nowhere. it was rubbish. it felt so unatural. my mind had changed into my dads when he was little, so it was familiar but totally alien. i wernt freakin out. but i was sat there doomin n gloomin cus i thought id changed my mind and was gonna be stuck in it for good. then after about half an hour i drifted thru it and it was all good again.
im not no expert with em but and i guess thats the sort of thing that they can do. there are strange little things.:alien_abd
0
Voices
8
Replies
Tags
This topic has no tags
