I always find the threads like these particularly harrowing – and TBH they seem to be becoming the norm rather than the exception..they make you stop believing that decent relationships and love exist any more except for an extremely small minority of couples – way too many people nowadays are stuck with “relationships” that are merely a power struggle between two people and gender roles…
I’ve virtually given up on finding love (at least in the short term) because of my previous bad experiences and endless stories like this I hear (or find out about) even amongst my circle of friends – who can you trust nowadays?
When you do meet someone you often find they have been hurt so badly by a previous partner they no longer trust people, and who can blame them?
I hope the people on these threads do find someone new they care for, but I think when people have been hurt like that they can often (at bad times in their new relationship) try to get “revenge” by taking that hurt out on their new partner (the “all girls/boys are scum” type of thoughts) – they see aspects of their old partner in their new one and it triggers off yet another bad episode..
There’s also way too much media and peer pressure which destroys relationships rather than tries to help people keep them – and competition and hidden agendas, even amongst “friends”.
I don’t mean to be arrogant but I feel that I am a decent person deep down and have a lot to offer someone; but in this fucked up world you feel that being too “nice” will mean someone uses you; So you end up being too “shy” – or more correctly too wary in case something fucks up along the way I reckon a lot of blokes are actually like this but too frightened to admit it as its not “tough” enough to say so!
OTOH I don’t want to fall into the “macho” stereotype where girls are just seen sex objects to be used for casual encounters and blokes lie through their teeth just to get a shag…
It worries me though to think there is actually less love in the world – even compared to 10 or 20 years ago!
The corporate-led society no longer cares – a stable relationship doesn’t make you more successful in business (often quite the opposite) and doesn’t improve the free market (more singletons actually increases consumption as they want a house of their own with associated utilities and equipment..)
In the short-termist outlook of those who claim to run our society, love has actually become obsolete! You don’t need it to make more children and TBH the human race (particularly in western nations) isn’t exactly dying out from lack of reproduction…
Sex is now a commodity, bought and sold every day. I’m no prude, but I’m shocked from an emotional POV at the number of people who would (or actually have) used a prostitute; the amount of “relationships” which are power struggles propped up by drugs/gifts rather than love, and people who think of their partners as “trophies” and who see children as unwanted by-products rather than something you would plan for and nurture.
The worst part of this is I’d expect this sort of nihilism from “townies/chavs” or “middle englander” types with loveless marriages – but to see things like this coming from the so-called community of young, dynamic groups of free-thinking ravers really is worrying..
for all the talk about PLUR, you often do wonder how much real love actually exists..
