Party Vibe

…I’m certain we had a conversation going here. A number of posts have magically disappeared into thin air over the past couple days…

Aha…thanks. Time travel; I was right, it was magic. 😉

Hi Kung Fu Fader ,
Mungo’s top tips to surviving planes crashes !!!! ….okay here goes .

1 . Before entering the plane on the walk out have a good look for any signs of damage …..such as holes in the skin or a wing hanging off . If any of these are seen don’t get on . Also for you older generation who might be reading this , don’t panic if you don’t see any propellers . Its okay it’s a new thing called a jet engine 🙂

2. Once your satisfied that the plane is okay and not held together with bodge tape , enter the cabin and on your way to your seat always count the number of seats you pass from the door . This is important as in a crash and the cabin fills with toxic smoke , when you get on the floor to find your way out you can count those seats then you know where the door is to get out . Also if involved in a high speed impact into the ground you know how many people will be infront of you in the que outside of those pearly gates .

3. Always check that the life jacket is actually underneath you seat , and always remember inflate the jacket only once you’ve left the cabbin . This is only a good idea in a crash landing in water , the Air stewardess will not be happy if you do this at you airport destination .

4. Always try and get a seat near a door or over wing exit , this helps getting out the plane quickly . However be aware that these doors are a potential weak point in the airframe and at 30 thousand feet if it gives out you and the door and all the oxygen in the cabbin will be shot out into the blue yonder !!!!! .

5. The strongest part of the air frame is in between the wings and so can take more impact before it breaks , but also be aware as its the strongest part there usually is a fuel tank . So you might survive the impact but the ensuing fire ball probably will get you . Infact in a plane crash there really is no safe place , it all depends on how it crashes and speeds etc .

6. If you find yourself in an inflight emergency try to remain calm , remember the air crew are highly trained ……if they wasn’t so blind drunk from the party with the air stewardess from the night before . Also Modern aircraft have come along way but remember every part of that aircraft was built by the lowest bider for the contract .

7. So Mungo’s advice is this …..sleep for the whole flight and if you can’t sleep have a few drinks . If your a sleep you won’t be able to see that mountain looming up at speed or the wing fall off etc . This is advice i always use when on a flight

Thank you

Your Captain speaking

1st officer Mungo

please enjoy this flight 😉

cabin crew prepare for take !!!!!!

regards
Mungo

@General Lighting 433898 wrote:

I am not in the least scared of flying – when i used to listen to radio scanner if I wasn’t listening out for cops I’d tune into aircraft radio and I always had respect for how well ATC kept the busy sky of England safe. However I now appreciate it isn’t very good for the planet.

I don’t begrudge relatives of mine coming back and forth from Malaysia as there aren’t many other convenient ways of getting all that distance, some are older and not in best of health and and its not something my family does every weekend, but I’d find it hard to justify myself flying to Europe when I am only 25 km from the North Sea and there are all sorts of ferries and boats around.

And the less we fly, the less we need to fight other nations for their oil (lets face it this is the real reason behind the wars…)

Hmm, considering those reasons: the sooner we run out the better 😀

/devil’s advocate

Amusing guide, Mungo!

Well, this may not comfort at first, but it carries a message:

Crew, passengers subdue man pounding on cockpit door during San Francisco-bound flight – The Washington Post Crew, passengers subdue man pounding on cockpit door during San Francisco-bound flight – The Washington Post

We’re a lot more alert after 9/11 and it’s always in the backs of our – passengers and flight crew alike – minds how it happened.

I think everyone should make at least a bit of conversation with their seatmates to get a feel for what they are like. Which brings me to my ultimate point:

Don’t board a flight with smelly breath. A mint goes a long way.