Definitely the best party I been to this year!!
Finished work in my pub at 1.30 .. Got a bollocking for smoking and drinking in my work shirt! So what do I do .. Get my mates together, order a mini bus and go illegal partying in it 😀
So we set of it’s an hr n a half trip .. Thanked the taxi man for taking us such a long way by giving him a couple lines of coke n a few spiffs along the way.
Got there I was absolutely buzzin as id been MD’in it up with straight gin along the way (I know not a good combination but it worked!)
Went had a dance .. Loved that the place had been dun up a bit what with the fairy lights and big black n white swirly thing on the wall .. Then after that it all gets a bit muddled .. All I can remember is,
Finding a room upstairs with paper n envelopes all over the floor. I was then convinced my purpose was to deliver the mail to downstairs. So I got my lip-gloss out started writing letters with it and got all the ketted up ppl in my room to deliver them for me .. This took ages so I found some MD’d up ppl to take over the delivery and the service became 1st class – possibly even special delivery 😛
So yea signed a few autographs too .. And someone’s head ..
What else .. Met a random man sat on a sink in the girls toilets talking to himself about the government and monkeys .. He was sweet
Kept going in and out the blokes toilets trying to get rid of some ket I didn’t want .. Neither did anyone else annoyingly :p
Went back upstairs to my post office and found 2 guys looking lost and not doing a lot so me n rich told them they where going to have a race and whoever ran back and forth and touched the wall 20 times first would receive a fat line of ket .. Amazingly they both jumped to their feet and proceeded to run around like mad men bumping into each other with paper flying everywhere .. We left half way though and could still hear them going as we walked downstairs .. We did however come back and give them both a line for being so entertaining ..
What else .. I was obsessed with the orange straight line on the floor in the middle room and made everyone walk it to see how sober they where .. I told one guy to do it .. He did, then ran of crying (I must have fuckd up his trip or something) I did find him though later and he was all happy so all was good.
Erm .. The man breathing fire was amazing
And that’s pretty much all I remember.
Then came stage 2 of my weekend, me and jess had no money at all to get home with and no lifts where available .. so .. we decided to carry on and see where the road took us.
We went to dorking with some guys we know from the party scene and stayed there till 10 Sunday afternoon, then we left and got a train from dorking to Clapham junction .. then Clapham to London Victoria (dodged the ticket men and jumped the fences) then we find out the underground was shut till 6 the next morning (bearing in mind it was now 12.30 at night and we had no money, neither of us had any credit or battery on our phone .. and no cigarettes!!)
So I decided that we where going to ….. spend the night at Gatwick airport, so yea jumped that train arrived at Gatwick and when ur tripping out its like Disney land!!
We had so much fun on the conveyor belt that takes you along .. we didn’t even realise we where walking down it the wrong way it took half n hour to get from one side to the other (which was only about 50 feet long) .. then on our way back the woman on the tannoy came on and said “CHILDREN ARE REMINDED NOT TO PLAY ON THE BAGGAGE CONVEYOR BELT DUE TO HEALTH AND SAFETY REASONS” wtf im not a child im nearly 21!!!! 😛
Then we went on the shuttle train that goes from terminal to terminal I literally thought I was in men in black and that was my spaceship .. it didn’t have seats jus poles, so me and jess tried doing a bit of pole dancing (no taking off our clothes was involved though!! lol) spent about 2 hrs on that.
Blagged some hot chocolate from starbucks
Found a chapel in the airport and wrote in the prayer book, thanked all the ppl for letting us have free stuff and wished something nice happened to them that day.
Then eventually fell asleep only to be woken up by the police saying they had reason to believe we weren’t travelling and where homeless (don’t blame them as we both had mud up to our knees and other general after party mess) so yea they gave us a stop n search thing and radio’d our names through but we explained and they let us carry on sleeping.
Then we woke up at 8.30 Monday morning got a train from Gatwick to Bedford .. then Bedford to Bletchley and then a bus from Bletchley to Buckingham!!
All in all we got 5 trains, a bus, hot chocolate, cigarettes, bread and butter (from a café in the airport) all for free!! And it took us 25 hrs in total to get home ..
Best adventure I ever been on .. even beats the Thursday before when I decided to shave half my hair of (it’s only the underneath though so u cant rele tell) walk around town for ages, eventually go up tesco and buy some vodka .. then decide we wanted to go swimming but had no money so flagged down cars asking them for a quid .. finally got enough money together so went swimming at 6.30 in the morning .. had nothing to wear so jus went in our underwear .. and drank vodka out of an evian bottle in the Jacuzzi ..
I love my life, lol.
