Who defined what you think a normal relationship is?

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Who defined what you think a normal relationship is?

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August 25, 2011 at 6:27 am

#678273
1

Raj

@raj

Member
As a spin off of the http://www.partyvibe.com/forums/love-sex-relationships/47638-polyamory-discussion-thread.html

For me the definition of what a normal relationship is has been arrived at through the experiences of my life, having discarded that which I was taught by those I grew up with because it did not work for me in its rigid and stereotyped format.

So out of curiosity for what makes people tick I thought I would see if anyone else has ever worked out where their definition of normal originates from and if anyone else has had to adjust that definition to make it fit their circumstances?

😉
August 25, 2011 at 7:39 am

#775110
1

p0ly

@p0ly

Participant
is getting with your best mates ex gf normal when your mate completely doesn’t want you to and both promised and said they’d never get together?

seems like that’s how it works with my friends!! absolute wankers.
August 25, 2011 at 7:39 am

#775111
1

p0ly

@p0ly

Participant
normal is just a way for people to make things suit the way with they want it.
August 25, 2011 at 8:09 am

#775105
1

Raj

@raj

Member
@p0ly 448838 wrote:

is getting with your best mates ex gf normal when your mate completely doesn’t want you to and both promised and said they’d never get together?

seems like that’s how it works with my friends!! absolute wankers.

Its not normal round here to do that – at the very least they don’t make promises they can’t keep.

Do you think its the taboo aspect {they promised not to do it so now its exciting and forbidden} which makes this behaviour result?
August 25, 2011 at 8:29 am

#775112
1

p0ly

@p0ly

Participant
i think they did it because they are quite wussy and only made friends and ever would’ve made friends through me so were too scared to throw it away. complete joke as all the times i was there with them you can see it brewing and even the guys ex gf he was with a year ago used to think they were way too cosy and was paranoid and turns out she was quite right :-S

bit of a joke as i still have to see these guys and they think i’m being unfair… well my ex gf does but to be perfectly honest the girl is pretty thick.
August 25, 2011 at 8:32 am

#775106
1

Raj

@raj

Member
@p0ly 448844 wrote:

bit of a joke as i still have to see these guys and they think i’m being unfair… well my ex gf does but to be perfectly honest the girl is pretty thick.

With friends like that who needs enemies :laugh_at: Its polite to at least wait a while before going out with your mate…nothing worse than having the old stereotype of ‘my ex is going with my best mate now’ happen to you :you_crazy:
August 25, 2011 at 8:44 am

#775113
1

p0ly

@p0ly

Participant
yes and happen it has, she tries to make it feel like i’m the one in the wrong for not being accepting…

Funny how the guy knows how wrong un it is as he even apparently expressed it to my sisters 2 weeks ago, think is like i said he’s a bit of a wuss and i know that she has played on his emotions a bit and definitely was the driving force into their relationship. she’s the sort of person who’d get overly emotional if he didn’t get with her and he’d be too scared to not comfort her and give her what she needs!! Funny as she realised from his ex gf that he’d put up with any emotional black mail even to the harshest extent and put up with it…. i remember her even mentioning this briefly before they were going out and it made me cringe completely.
August 25, 2011 at 10:28 am

#775107
1

Raj

@raj

Member
@p0ly 448846 wrote:

yes and happen it has, she tries to make it feel like i’m the one in the wrong for not being accepting…

Funny how the guy knows how wrong un it is as he even apparently expressed it to my sisters 2 weeks ago, think is like i said he’s a bit of a wuss and i know that she has played on his emotions a bit and definitely was the driving force into their relationship. she’s the sort of person who’d get overly emotional if he didn’t get with her and he’d be too scared to not comfort her and give her what she needs!! Funny as she realised from his ex gf that he’d put up with any emotional black mail even to the harshest extent and put up with it…. i remember her even mentioning this briefly before they were going out and it made me cringe completely.

A relationship should not be based on emotional blackmail – its not equal or co-operative in any way and a very unhealthy way to define the balance of power in a couple….
Sounds like you are well shot of her and its going to be your good luck she went after him; his tough titties he doesn’t stand up to her.
:crazy_fre
August 25, 2011 at 11:00 am

#775108
1

Tank Girl

@tank-girl

Member
I guess I grew up with what ‘relationships should be’ by seeing what was around me at the time,
and generally that made me think I dont want relationships like that, however have still fallen in to the same trap’s on several occasions!!

hope I have it right this time!!

but I think relationships are about loads of things – like layers of an onion,

what works for some people isnt necessarily gonna work for others, and just because ‘society’ or the ‘bible’ says some thing is the ‘way to do it’ I just dont buy!!!

I am currently in a monogamous straight relationship, I am not sure if I would be able to manage an ‘open sexual’ relationship, I have seen this go disastrously wrong and people crossing over the boundaries – or the couples starting out with out any boundaries and it all getting fucked up. I do however think the main problem is the lack of communication.

With regards to polyamorous relationships I think if you know what you are getting into from the start it may be easier to deal with, rather than opening up a relationship that had previously been monogamous, but I have no experience of this, only what friends have been kind and open enough to share with me.

no one never knows what the future will hold and things do change and relationships are the same as everything,

I think as long as there is open and honest communication, friendship, love, laughter, cuddles and sex (which I do think is an important part of a relationship for me) and the occasional discussion!! alongside trust and respect then its all good – whether its same sex, different sex, transgendered etc
August 29, 2011 at 6:12 pm

#775123
1

Moonie

@moonie

Member
My parents had a very healthy relationship for nearly all of my upbringing, they broke up when I was 16, by which time I was having my own relationships. I suppose they formed my idea of what I consider to be a normal or healthy relationship, but at the same time, it is my own opinion that a relationship is something that brings you joy. The moment it doesn’t, it aint working.
August 29, 2011 at 7:47 pm

#775125
1

BlakeBaltimore

@blakebaltimore

Member
I decided what is normal using practical and common sense.
August 30, 2011 at 4:00 pm

#775095
[deleted]

@[deleted]

Guest
the guy must sparkle in sunlight :love:
August 30, 2011 at 6:36 pm

#775126
1

BlakeBaltimore

@blakebaltimore

Member
@hat 449345 wrote:

the guy must sparkle in sunlight :love:

Who’s that?
August 30, 2011 at 6:46 pm

#775096
[deleted]

@[deleted]

Guest
@BlakeBaltimore 449361 wrote:

Who’s that?

have you not read twilight!?
August 30, 2011 at 7:28 pm

#775124
1

Moonie

@moonie

Member
Hat, if your boyfriend sparkles in the sunlight and doesn’t want to have sex with you, he’s not a vampire, he’s gay.
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