I know this is a old one but still funny ….:love:
-Im so Trance
-Even my pubes are dreadlocked
-My clothes are so fluro, I moon light at an Airport to help guide planes down safely
-My farts smell like Nag Champa incense
-the hairs on my arms have stopped growing because I have so many arm bands from parties
-I have every single trance album since 1995, copied, ofcourse..
-Simon Posford calls me up for track name idea’s
-I use Liquid Acid for eyedrops
-I can use just my hand as a hash chillum
-My heart beats at 145 BPM
-My urine has been classed by the goverment as a controlled hallucinogenic substance
-I have shrunk from 6ft to 5ft because of all the dancing
-My ringtone is an unreleased Shpongle track recorded off a DAT tape from 1996
-i’m a nudist, vegan buddhist with no material possessions… except my Pentium 4 3.2Ghz PC with 6GB of RAM, Edirol FA-101 Firewire Audio Capture Interface and Roland DM–20 Digital Stereo Monitors for writing killaaarggh trance tracks
-I dont eat anything that casts a shadow, infact anything that has ever lived, I survive mainly on rocks and sand
-can setup my tent in 10sec flat.. unsetup in 5sec.
-don’t use public transport – I astral travel
-I sweat LSD…
-I can spin fire Poi using only my tongue
-I can make a trance track using only a fork, hair curler and a jiffy bag
-Parties are cancelled when I say I wont attend
-I have a 2 chai tea stalls, 1 falafel and humous stall and 2 Chillum and bong stalls at everyparty…and I run them all by my self at the same time while dancing on the dance floor.
-My name is actually ‘Trance’ but you can call me Mr Trance, my friends call me Psy
-I know every major trance producer around the world…… they will deny this tho, but only because I asked them to keep it a secret.
-I have registered my house as an official after party club for Trance parties
-I see in Ultraviolet light only
-I can name any track from hearing only one beat of the kick drum
-when i hear workmen using a mechanical metal saw I say, hmm, nice acid synth lead line.
-they use me as a backdrop at parties cos Im so covered in psychedelic tattoos and uv clothes
-my legs have built in saddle bags
– Whenever I have a headache i hug a chrystal
– everytime i’m in a bad mood i blame the stars
-I label all people who bath occasionally; image conscious posers
-Everytime i say something i try to sound deep
-when people look at me i think they’re undercover cops
-i think tie dye’s still cool
-i hug trees for a living
-i can beatmatch a bus drone and a pneumatic jack-hammer in sync
– if i stop listenig to trance for 1 hour i start to shake with withdrawl symptoms
-even my underwear is made from hemp
– I talk to my plants and they reply
-Every year like clockwork, I moan about how “the scene just isn’t the same anymore..” even though I still keep going to every party. 
