A group of blondes in a bar… A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to
line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and
toast, 'Here's to 51 days!' and they proceed to down their drinks.
Once again, they tell the bartender to 'line 'em up', and once again they toast
51 days and down their drinks. The bartender says, 'I don't get it. Why in
the world are you toasting 51 days?'
One of the blondes explains, 'We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had
written on the box '2-4 years,' but we finished it in 51 days!
Two doctors meet in a bar… A man and woman are at a bar having a few beers. They start talking and soon realize they're both doctors. After an hour, the man says, 'Hey, how about if we sleep together tonight? No strings attached.' The woman doctor agrees to it.
They go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes into the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. At last, she goes into the bedroom and they have sex.
Afterward, the man says, 'You're a surgeon, aren't you?' 'Yes,' says the woman, 'how did you know?' 'I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started,' he says. 'That makes sense,' says the woman.
'You're an anaesthesiologist, aren't you?' 'Yeah, how did you know?' asks the man. The woman replies, 'Because I didn't feel a thing.
A man and a woman meet in a bar… A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar.
They talk, they connect and they end up leaving together.
They get back to his apartment and she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher,
and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.
She turns to him... they kiss... and then they rip each other's clothes .... After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it ?"
The guy says:
"Help yourself to a prize on your way out..."
The worst joke I know This is a rubbish joke. But it's the first one here...
A guy goes into a japanese seafood restaurant and goes over to the tank to choose some fresh food. He looks all round the tank and sees all manner of different crabs and lobsters and stuff, bu at the bottom of the tank he sees a squid, the like of which he'd never seen before. He was really excited as he'd not yet found a seafood dish that he hadn't eaten.
It was the colour of a lime, but with a moustache. He'd never seen one before and could only imagine what it tasted like, so he asked the waiter to cook it up for him.
The waiter fished the squid from the tank and took it to see the chef, Ch'face, for it to be prepared. As Ch'face looked into the eyes of the squid, however, he felt a sudden pang of guilt for what he was about to do, and simply could not go ahead and kill the creature.
He called to the washing up boy, Hans from Germany, and asked him if he could do the deed and plunge the squid into the the pan of boiling water, but unfortunately Hans didn't have the heart to kill the creature either.
As they say
Hans that does dishes is as soft as Ch'face, with the mild green hairy lip squid.
I'll get my coat.
Penguin baseball If your bored follow the link. Click on the Yeti (who oddly looks like my fomer school teacher) to release the penguin and click again to hit.
My record is 321.1
Merry xmas all!!!!
http://n.ethz.ch/student/mkos/pinguin.swf
Check this joke for saftey! This joke is so safe your probably not ready for it!
What did my mate say when I passed him his cigarettes?
you just aint ready for this, prepair your self.
TAR!
