Are we smothering our kids?

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Are we smothering our kids?

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June 4, 2007 at 11:15 pm

#692411
1

Raj

@raj

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bbc.co.uk wrote:

Young ‘not allowed out to play’

Many children are being stopped from playing outside by adults afraid for their safety, according to a survey.

The survey was part of the charity’s Good Childhood Inquiry – a series of reflections on childhood.

Experts told the inquiry of the importance of letting children have the freedom to play independently and make friends.

Being isolated from or bullied by other youngsters can lead to serious problems such as depression, aggression, anti-social and delinquent behaviour, they warned.

“As a society we are in a real quandary; on the one hand we want freedom for our children but on the other we are becoming increasingly frightened to let them out.”

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/6720231.stm

bbc.co.uk wrote:

The risk of abduction remains tiny. In Britain, there are now half as many children killed every year in road accidents as there were in 1922 – despite a more than 25-fold increase in traffic.

In 1970, 80% of primary school-age children made the journey from home to school on their own. It was what you did. Today the figure is under 9%. Escorting children is now the norm – often in the back of a 4×4.

We are rearing our children in captivity – their habitat shrinking almost daily.

In 1970 the average nine-year-old girl would have been free to wander 840 metres from her front door. By 1977 it was 280 metres.

Now the limit appears to have come down to the front doorstep.

And the horrifying story of four-year-old Madeleine McCann, apparently abducted from her bed in Portugal while her parents ate a meal in a nearby restaurant, is likely to mean British parents pull their children even closer to them.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/6720661.stm
June 5, 2007 at 1:41 am

#887297
1

MisterDuck

@misterduck

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definately. when i was in primary, there were kids that lived round the local park, and they werent allowed out (even if its in view) to kick a footy around. in some cases this even extends to early secondary school, and its lads not just lasses.

i was always allowed to wander where i wanted really, its a pretty peaceful area around here
June 5, 2007 at 6:41 am

#887298
[deleted]

@[deleted]

Inactive
When i was growning up a few mates were smothered by there mum’s, I was left to run free and do pretty much what i liked.

wasn’t such a bad thing i dont think
June 5, 2007 at 6:51 am

#887296
1

Tank Girl

@tank-girl

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starlaugh wrote:

When i was growning up a few mates were smothered by there mum’s

I think more brats should be smothered ………..

(Joke!! :laugh_at: :laugh_at: :laugh_at: )

sorry couldnt help it – now return to serious question-

I do think some people (like my sister) are too overprotective – esp – with the idea the there is a sex offender in the local area – yes there probably is .. but statistically it is usually some one know to you (family/friend/ teacher/ doctor etc)
They have always existed – and the media attention esp of certain shite tabloid papers helps stir this ‘fear’ and keeps people scared

Not only with this but my sisters kids are ‘scared’ of london because of the bombs….. I mean – get a handle on it – you cant live life like that…..
June 5, 2007 at 8:57 am

#887291
[deleted]

@[deleted]

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my little girl is too precious….she is only 6 an noway would i let her play out on the street where i couldnt see her …its just not worth the risk …..its not like when we were kids …there are more f***ed up people now….shes worth her weight in gold to me an call me over protective i don’t care….
June 5, 2007 at 9:21 am

#887299
[deleted]

@[deleted]

Inactive
bbc.co.uk wrote:

Some 43% of 1,148 adults quizzed for the Children’s Society said children should not be allowed out with friends until they were 14. But most said they had been allowed out without supervision aged 10 or younger.

They are taking the piss aint they? By that age i was off on journeys on the bus into Taunton center, was about a 20/30 min trip on the bus. Would go camping with my friends in random fields away from home.

Keep kids cooped up like battery chickens and i am sure it will damage there social skill and make them unhappyer. :you_crazy
June 5, 2007 at 12:44 pm

#887292
6

General Lighting

@general-lighting

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I can see what April is getting at but TBH I think the “fucked up people” who pose a threat to young children aren’t even so much the “evil child molesting monsters” the tabloids mention – the cops for all their faults are doing a good job at catching these people and bringing them to justice…

IMO the real problem is the average Middle Englander in their motor car – this type of driver has agressively claimed so much space back from the streets that its become unsafe for kids to walk or ride their bikes for fear of being run over rather than abducted.

I’ve seen some horrendous driving even around school pickup time, where it is clear the drivers would rather risk running over a kid than slow down…

IMO its people like this who deny kids their rightful space to play as to a worse extent than the nonces and bullies.. Worst of all they are often themselves parents, or have the money/power/flexibility to make things better if they could..

I always read all the police press releases and crime reports to see what is going on with respect to policing raves and the drugs culture; but I also regularly see reports of how drivers have knocked down a kid on foot or on their bikes and made off without even dialling 999, or blamed the kid for “being in the way/not crossing the road properly”.
June 5, 2007 at 1:04 pm

#887300
[deleted]

@[deleted]

Inactive
General Lighting wrote:

IMO the real problem is the average Middle Englander in their motor car – this type of driver has agressively claimed so much space back from the streets that its become unsafe for kids to walk or ride their bikes for fear of being run over rather than abducted.

I always read all the police press releases and crime reports to see what is going on with respect to policing raves and the drugs culture; but I also regularly see reports of how drivers have knocked down a kid on foot or on their bikes and made off without even dialling 999, or blamed the kid for “being in the way/not crossing the road properly”.

Its interesting though as i was reading the following on the BBC news site

BBC News Site wrote:

The risk of abduction remains tiny. In Britain, there are now half as many children killed every year in road accidents as there were in 1922 – despite a more than 25-fold increase in traffic.

In 1970, 80% of primary school-age children made the journey from home to school on their own. It was what you did. Today the figure is under 9%. Escorting children is now the norm – often in the back of a 4×4.

But then reading it again maybe the fact that there has been a 71% drop in percentage of children making their own way to school could cause the number of children hurt in accidents to drop?
June 5, 2007 at 1:21 pm

#887293
6

General Lighting

@general-lighting

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starlaugh wrote:

But then reading it again maybe the fact that there has been a 71% drop in percentage of children making their own way to school could cause the number of children hurt in accidents to drop?

exactly – the freedom of the streets we had has been taken away from todays children..
June 6, 2007 at 9:31 am

#887302
1

tarifa

@tarifa

Member
Its impossible to prove one way or another if child molestion/abduction etc is more common than it used to be but the generally held opinion is that its just better publicised.

It is proven that the vast majority of child abuse is perpetrated by family and close friends.

Stranger danger is statistically extremely unlikely.

I do feel sorry for kids nowadays, not having the freedoms I took for granted, It must have psychosocial implications for the future not to mention the obvious physical health risks of an ever increasingly sedentary lifestyle.

Being independent, taking risks, getting hurt and dealing with that are all a healthy part of natural development but if I had a child I would see it as my duty to allow them to take the small risks whilst protecting them from the big ones and being abducted/abused etc are in the latter catagory.

I don’t know what I’d do, I agree with April, I’d protect what is most precious but I’d also like to give them freedom. It’s a difficult one, and think it needs more common sense and less media generated hysteria.
June 6, 2007 at 11:02 am

#887303
6

Angel

@angel

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General Lighting wrote:

I’ve seen some horrendous driving even around school pickup time, where it is clear the drivers would rather risk running over a kid than slow down…

I see that a lot in Denmark too,but it’s often the parents to some of the kids who are driving like crazy..

I think I smother one of my sons a lot , but he have some disabilities so he needs to be protected,he’s not good at deciding what’s right and what’s wrong,and I’ll do anything to keep him out of trouble and keep him protected..

What I find very difficult is not to treat the other 2 kids the same way,it can be very hard sometimes..I think I say no to them more than I really have to..I sometimes feel I punishes the other 2 for his disabilities , because I feel sorry for him..

But I don’t know,it’s not always easy to be a parent,and I don’t think most parents hurts their children on purpose,by not letting them be more independent..

It’s a crazy world we live in,not always easy to know what to do..

Sometimes you’re doing a great job but sometimes you fuck up :hopeless:
June 6, 2007 at 11:11 am

#887301
[deleted]

@[deleted]

Inactive
Angel wrote:

But I don’t know,it’s not always easy to be a parent,and I don’t think most parents hurts their children on purpose,by not letting them be more independent..

It’s a crazy world we live in,not always easy to know what to do..

Sometimes you’re doing a great job but sometimes you fuck up :hopeless:

Well kids dont come with an instruction book or a “dummies guide” its down to what you feel is best really, Its obvious most parents only want their children to do well in life. Trying to stop them making the same mistakes you did and hopefully giving them a head start.

I know i would struggle trying to balance the amount of protection and freedom you give them.

😉
June 6, 2007 at 11:17 am

#887294
6

General Lighting

@general-lighting

Moderator
Staff
Angel wrote:

I see that a lot in Denmark too,but it’s often the parents to some of the kids who are driving like crazy..:hopeless:

yep – that is also what I have seen at school time.

It actually reminded me of a wildlife film, where the animals are all fighting for territory for their family groups and are prepared to even kill the offspring of others to do this.

I sometimes think we have all our technology and money but are losing the things that distinguish humans from other creatures and thats why parents are becoming so worried..
June 6, 2007 at 2:28 pm

#887295
1

Raj

@raj

Member
tarifa wrote:

I do feel sorry for kids nowadays, not having the freedoms I took for granted, It must have psychosocial implications for the future not to mention the obvious physical health risks of an ever increasingly sedentary lifestyle.

Not only that but it teaches them to be good little consumers as increasingly all activities for kids are supervised and therefore cost money….
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