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Die Morität von Ahmed Macheath

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  • I recently read a surreal thread on a religious site from a Scottish Muslim brother who wanted to know if bagpipe music is halal – it is (provided folk are piping for the correct reasons). I’ve heard it on videos of the Pakistan / India border closing ceremony; at one point they had the Pakistan Army piping to Allah (SAW) with a dubstep bassline being mixed in in the background.

    A lot of bagpipes (including those played in Northern Europe) are now made in Pakistan and the Punjab although they are also popular with the Chinese in Malaysia and Singapore.

    A few months ago some older chaps said it is a lot easier to get away with pirate broadcasting in Scotland than England (due to its remoteness) and today I was reading about some of the setups that folk have for their shortwave transmitters (mostly on legit amateur bands but you do get the odd pirate now and then).

    Many of them use the old style end stage with big valves using strong voltage and elaborate water cooling/fan arrangements; after mishearing the local anthem of Groningen Netherlands (the Dutch equivalent of Scotland) and mistranslating “ain pronkjewail” (“bling” type jewels) as “ein pruikenval” ( a trap for wigs)

    I had got this impression that they rigged the transmitters so if the Communications Ministry agents get too near the endstage shuts off (so there is no more signal for them to track); but as the ventilators for the valves need to stay running it wouldn’t be impossible to feed the air blast from them to extra pipes (like an old style church organ) at enough pressure to blow an insecure toupeé form their heads :laugh_at:

    Die Morität von Ahmed Macheath

    Ahmed Macheath wohnt in Ayrshire
    Stoltz tragt er ‘nen Schotten Rock…
    Er ist auch ein Musikant,
    Doch spielt er gern auf dem Dudelsack..

    Er hat auch einen KW-Sender,
    Fröhlich sitzt er am Mikrophon.
    Bald einer starke Senderröhre
    Strahlt durch den Himmel ‚nen Pfeifton!

    Viele Leute in viele Ländern
    empfangen das Signal laut und klar
    Zwischen Sarawak und Oldham
    Rufen Sie auch „Allah-u-Ahkbar!“

    Alle hören mit großer Freude
    Ahmed Macheath – der Pfeifpirat
    Die Senioren egal mit den Rollatoren
    Gehen zum tanzen durch die ganze Stadt!

    In England südlich 400 Meilen
    Ein Ofcom-Agent war am Peilgerät
    probiert den Standort des Sender zu peilen
    Doch Ahmed pfeift außerhalb der Legalität

    Wenn der Ofcom-Agent erreichte Ayrshire
    Eine Überraschung erwartete ihn
    Plötzlich sein Toupet war in die Luft geblasen
    Aus seinen Kopf durch eine Hochdruckwind!

    Also bald fährt der Ofcom-Agent
    Zurück nach Baldock
    Voll Angst und kahl.
    Ausgepfiffene und beschämte
    Doch Ahmed Macheath pfeift noch einmal!
    Ausgepfiffene und beschämte
    Doch Ahmed Macheath pfeift noch einmal!

    this was the original inspiration – a muizenval is a mousetrap and a rattenval a rat trap; so logically a pruikenval would be a wig trap :laugh_at:

    Agentschap Telecom are NL equivalent of Ofcom. The caption in Gronings dialect reads “Hey! my wig also is in the air; this will not do!”

    14232381927_67fe0d8aac_b.jpg

    PS: to be fair our local Ofcom lot are decent chaps; when a mate of mine ran a pirate a few years back they’d telephone him if they were going to be in the area so they’d shut off the TX that weekend (it was a well run station with good equipment that didn’t cut across aircraft or shipping comms) – the Ofcom man could then report “non compliant transmission not present at time of check” and still get paid his weekend overtime bonus – he also helped us get the community radio license so we can broadcast legally raaa…

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Forums The Vibe Jokes & Comedy Die Morität von Ahmed Macheath