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Ham the Astrochimp: The True Hero of the Space Race

Forums Life Jokes & Humour Ham the Astrochimp: The True Hero of the Space Race

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  • from the Grauniad letters page, i nearly wet meself! :laugh_at:

    The real hero of the early American space programme was Ham the “astrochimp”, who went up before any of the first American Mercury astronauts.

    Trained for weeks to pull levers with a banana pellet reward for the right one and an electric shock for the wrong one, he could do this in his sleep and was really relaxed as he was strapped into his wired-up “biopack”, set up to take all manner of readings.

    However, the rocket burned all its fuel at once, some of the valves malfunctioned, cabin pressure dropped, the fuel ran out and the engines shut down. The outcome of all this was that he pulled twice the anticipated gs on his way up, while all the wiring went haywire and whichever lever he pulled he got a shock.

    Sensing that things were going wrong, the emergency abort system kicked in and blasted his capsule off the rocket with a wrench.

    The re-entry retro rockets then shut down prematurely thus failing to slow the capsule down, resulting in another 15g on his way down. All this time, he’s frantically pulling levers and getting nothing but shocks. Off course, the capsule landed 150 miles from its intended target and the excessive impact caused the heat shield to blow a hole in the bulkhead, and the capsule started to fill with water and sink.

    The helicopter arrived just in time to pull Ham and his spaceship out of the ocean. No more the easy-going guy out for a day in space, once his handlers got to him he started to hit, bite and scratch anyone who came near.

    Ham the chimp, the true hero of the space race

    Ham, ready for lift off!

    250px-Ham_the_chimp.jpg

    Ham the asro-chimp, RIP!

    250px-Grave_of_Ham_the_Astrochimp.jpg

    Bless! 😉

    hmm, well i thought it was funny, anyway! :hopeless:

    250px-Ham_Retreival_GPN-2000-001004.jpg

    this is a famous picture of a ‘handshake’, after touchdown. Notice how the guy isnt getting to close, ha ha.

    according to wiki, the only injury to ham was a bruised nose, and if you compare it to the ‘before’ shot, it does look totally different.

    and if you look closely at his eyes, i think he is dosed up with somethin, he looks totally blissed out! :laugh_at: Talk about a space cadet… 😉

    found it scientifically interesting but not particularly amusing – I’m a meat-eating chav and certainly not a full on hippy animal rights protestor type but unlike the human NASA astronauts and Soviet cosmonauts none of the animals sent into space got a choice and many suffered various hardships…

    marcusblanc;311817 wrote:
    and if you look closely at his eyes, i think he is dosed up with somethin, he looks totally blissed out! :laugh_at: Talk about a space cadet… 😉

    given his (understandable) reactions to being shaken about, shocked by all the malfunctioning kit and otherwise knocked around, I expect the NASA boffins would have given him a good shot of some sort of barbiturate (ketamine hadn’t been invented back then) to stop him beating up on the other NASA dude and spoiling the photo op..

    if you’ve read the Wiki you will have also seen how he was called #65 and only named after he got back safely as they didn’t want bad publicity if he had got killed on the mission..

    At least he got given to a zoo after serving the country, rather than experimented on even more…. he only lived to age 26, which isn’t very long for a chimp in captivity – life expectancy is normally 60-70 years (not unlike many of us humans TBH!)

    apparently initially NASA tried to use cats, all of which were rejected as they refused to take part in the directed tasks assigned to them….

    marcusblanc;311637 wrote:
    No more the easy-going guy out for a day in space, once his handlers got to him he started to hit, bite and scratch anyone who came near.
    Ham the chimp, the true hero of the space race

    sounds like me after a few wrongbows :laugh_at::laugh_at:

    :love::love:

    Yeah, its not a nice thing to do to an animal, but i dont think NASA would be bothered about anything like moral issues.

    Its a bit of a miracle that he survived really, 15g is an awful lot of gravity, so i’m not surprised he was pissed off by the end. Its farcical (sp?) funny, imho, rather than anything else.

    I’m not sure that the early astronauts had much more control of their vehicle than Ham, but i dont think banana pellets and electric shocks were part of the deal. 😉

    I want a monkey.

    Actually looking at the wiki, its truly remarkable how many different animals have made it into space, i had no idea…

    Animals in space – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Ham the Chimp – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    I think that in terms of the things that animals have been experimented on for, cosmetics and other relatively meaningless stuff, animal space travel probably isnt the worst thing humans have done to fellow sentient beings.

    Poor lttle monkey.

    Yeah, alrite, so it is a bit cruel to laugh, point taken! :crazy:

    Chimps and Bonobos (Pan spp.) are apes, not monkeys 😉

    Wikipedia wrote:
    An alternative philosophy suggests that the term Homo sapiens is the misnomer rather, and that humans should be reclassified as Pan sapiens.

    Monkeys actually won the space race but more of them made the ultimate sacrifice..

    Monkeys in space – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    marcusblanc;311973 wrote:
    Yeah, alrite, so it is a bit cruel to laugh, point taken! :crazy:

    Not that cruel really. I laughed at an orang-utan falling out of a tree yesterday.

    Thank you Cliffy, that makes me feel loads better! 😉

    marcusblanc;311978 wrote:
    Thank you Cliffy, that makes me feel loads better! 😉

    Happy to help good sir.

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Forums Life Jokes & Humour Ham the Astrochimp: The True Hero of the Space Race