shaikar wrote:
Ok a certain reply scared me a bit. If you’re still at E regulary for the past few years and you’ve never had a break that is so dangerous. All this shit about ‘E doesnt hurt you’ is total bullox and ‘Es less dangerous than drinking’ also isnt true. You NEED a break at somepoint or you’ll turn into a vegtable, i wouldnt think anyone would wanna be a vegtable? no matter how fucked up your life is vegtable state aint the answer.
I used to think E was less dangerous than drinking becuase of all these sites saying so but the fact is taking E damages your liver, just like alcoholo. E is dangerous, not as dangerous as say heroin or meth but it still has a high danger to it if your too frequent and you use it regulary. The days after taking it i get bad confusion, i forget everything, my short term memories really sketchy and im still really alreat and twitchy. Theres no running away from the fact E damages your brain, no matter how much you try to soften it up you will end up like a vegtable. Ive been taking it for 8 months, from 1-2 times every week. I take 4-5 a night and ive learn from bad experiances not to exceed 6 so early on. at first i was doing 6 for the first month but i saw noticeable risks to this. Expecially when my head twitches at the speed of light to everything what moves.
Im going to go on a break for a month and see how i go, i advise anyone else whos been going non stop for years as well. But if you really dont want to, still love getting so fucked your foaming at the mouth and sweating like your in nevada, go ahead and turn yourself into a vegtable. My friend reached that state anmd went further after 15 pills and hes been doimg them for longer than me. Just be careful and no when to stop, coz wat goes up must go down.
Me and my other friend experiance the same feeling when our puma pills start wearing off in the club. It feels like a heavy depression, accompanied with extreme anger at everything, the music pisses us off, the walls piss us off, our face pisses us off. Funny when you look back at how pissed off you can get over a wall but at the time it sems perfectly reasonable. We only get that effect on thoses pills, im guessing its something to do with these certain pills?
98% of my depressed time theres no reason for it, i am just depressed. but sometimes i know why, i wonder whats the point of dancing? wats the point of getting all excited about getting money just to spend it on clothes or other useless shit? no one actullty cares or notices, and if they do, well done someone wants to fuck you. And wats the point of that? just reproduce and pop out another useless life? – it goes on and on and on like that in an endless spiral, anyone got that before? i have spoken to ppl about it but their like, ‘lifes there to have fun :)’ but thats realy not enough when im in that state, nothing like that can make me think positively. I dont live in the monet at all and thats the problem, i live live 20 years in the future and its depressive. Im just wondering if this is a normal sorta thing after E. If it isnt im fuked anyway coz people never listen to you unless your gunna kill yourself, which i thinks terrible. No wonder why kids self harm and admite they wanna die, no one gives a shit untill its at that stage. But yeah… will this eventully go over my break do you think?
Don’t think anyone ever claimed E doesn’t harm you in any way. The alcohol point though, I will comment on. Just an opinion mind, but I am firmly in the camp that believes alcohol is one of the most dangerous drugs regularly consumed on this planet (exceeded only by the likes of smack, and nicotine)…
I’ve been an alcoholic, and I’ve been a reaally heavy MDMA user (in excess of your description of your pal). I have never felt so physically f**ked than while using alcohol every day. My brain wasn’t functioning, my body was like lead all the time, and only the drink made it feel any better. My life would have fallen apart were it not for the love and patience of my partner.
While using MDMA to excess, I also did a fairly technical job as a sound engineer, held down a mostly normal life (upside down to most, due to working at night mostly, but relatively normal). I had the usual house engineer nightmares (fixing buggered bins under the lambent glow of a terra strobe, working with power supplies capable of leaving smoking boots etc) and never had a hiccup.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not advocating anyone to go and do what I did (I’ve learnt better, grown up (I think:wink:), and have a much more laid back approach to my partying). Excess is always dangerous with anything – as the Shamen said in a famous track “E’s the kind of geezer who must never be abused”.
However, I don’t want to imagine what doing all that under the influence of alcohol would have resulted in (it probably would have had the benefit of being quick though – amps are very unforgiving of sloppiness, and alcohol makes you sloppy).
You obviously know that it’s the pills that are doing this to you (from your posts that is what I surmise anyway). The worry that permanent damage has been done to some sort of happiness circuit in your body is one you should put to rest though. Time off will restore your equilibrium (the body is an amazing machine, and far more robust than many give it credit for).
If you want something to help with a “quick fix” solution, taking the supplement 5HTP (5-HydroxyTryptoPhan) will help restore the levels of the so called happy hormone (Serotonin). Serotonin is also the chemical that forms synaptic links in the brain (which are used in the process of learning in fairly complex ways most of which I don’t understand, but someone else may be able to enlighten us on). The low level of serotonin may also explain the feeling of being a vegetable therefore. 5HTP can be bought in health shops, and some chemists – it is the natural pre-cursor to serotonin, enabling the body to make it quickly, and restore depleted levels.
Also take into account that the pills you buy on the street may not contain MDMA (street drugs have been filled with some fairly hideous concoctions, E’s included – random badly synthesized analogues of MDA are the good ones. Stuff like Ket & selegiline mixtures, caffiene (in toxic quantity), and other random stims like ephedrine, pseudoephidrine have been used. The list goes on, the crimes IMO heinous and just pure buck making nasty…)
A comparison with alcohol would be obviously the prohibition years in the US…I won’t bore you with the details, but suffice to say un-regulated alcohol traffic is (and has been proven historically to be) extremely dangerous. More people have been killed in 1 day during this period by alcohol than have been killed in MDMA’s entire history. Alcohol seems safe only because regulation makes it relatively so (22K deaths every year notwithstanding)
But do take a break (a month, a few weeks whatever), and try to work out what is bothering you so much. If necessary, take a hol from work, grab a tent and rucksack, and go walkabout. Take a really good friend who you can talk to if you have one, or go alone if you don’t have anyone you talk to like that (good mates are ones who don’t laugh when you tell them this stuff, and the best for this job is a quiet one. You don’t need an opinion, you need someone to be there while you talk it through for yourself)
Just take food and liquid (no drugs or alcohol), and go climb a big hill, or camp by a lake in the middle of nowhere. No distractions, few people, and natures best remedy for the soul.
Some may not feel this is to their taste, but I recommend it to anyone who has depression – a good dose of nature is marvellous for putting things in perspective in my experience…
And as a closing note – a month between benders is a good idea (gives the brain time to equalise), but regular MDMA users should occasionally take breaks of 6months at least (this is the estimated period for the brain chemical balance to attain pre MDMA state – cannae remember for sure where I read that. Nicholas Saunders E is for Ecstasy if memory serves)
Good advice though. And letting off steam here is good too. Plenty of people who will listen and give encouragement where necessary…Mostly a bunch of hippies (ta Col:wink:), but nice hippies, and intelligent ones…:groucho:
PLUR
