He's not cumming... but he says it isn't me? :(

Welcome To

He’s not cumming… but he says it isn’t me? :(

This topic is empty.

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)

Author

Posts
February 17, 2014 at 8:53 am

#680723
1

sarah1000

@sarah1000

Member
So my husband and I have been having sex issues for about a year or two now and it’s really hurting our relationship.

Basically our sex routine goes like this.

– I cum in 5 min or less with help of my vibe. I don’t like him going down on me. I’m pretty much have a sub persona.
– He takes like 45 min to cum or he doesn’t cum at all because he gets tired
– Because we haven’t done it in 3-4 weeks I become very sore

and then the vicious cycle continues!

My hope was that we could have sex on a more regular basis like everyday or every other day, but he just takes SO long that I get to the point that I’m in pain and I don’t want to do it so soon…So it ends up taking weeks again until we’re like “Yeah, it’s been a while, guess we should do it”. And WE HATE IT! It’s such a pathetic love life we’re both very concerned about it.

It got worse back in August when I started noticing that he wasn’t coming with me at all. On our anniversary in August I bought a nice new sexy lingerie and gave him the longest f’n blowjob of life. I swear I went down on him for a solid 20 min before we took a break and had sex then went back to BJ. He didn’t come that night. I spent our anniversary crying, because as much as he says he’s so attracted to me I feel inadequate.

I have on my end had some issues due to my pill. I’ve asked my Gyno to switch my pill because I’ve been having issues with dryness. I mean, we’ve been using lube this whole time, but I didn’t want it to be an issue. I just got some higher quality silicone lube, so maybe that will make the experience a little better. Some times I push back on him because I feel he’s going in too deep and he finally mentioned to me that it distracts him during sex, especially when he wants to go in deep. I don’t know if that’s from the lack of sex or dryness that my vagina isn’t adjusting to him. I mean, my husband is by no means small, but I wouldn’t consider him have an XL dick. I think it’s a pretty average size penis.

So I don’t know if eliminating the pushback will help him cum again, but if you guys have any other suggestions please let me know As there is no pushback when I blow him…so I don’t think that’s the only reason he’s not cuming. Will hopefully be trying the new lube very soon.
February 18, 2014 at 3:30 pm

#812981
6

Angel

@angel

Moderator
Staff
Have you tried to change position while having sex? it might make you less sore.
(I do know what you mean, you just lie there waiting for it to be over, we normally get pissed when they are to fast lol)

Sometimes when things goes so wrong as it sounds like it have, it can be really difficult breaking that circle.

Maybe you shouldn’t start out with an orgasm, why don’t you try pleasing him first, get him proper in the mood and ask him what he want, put your own need aside.

Try something new, tease him all day maybe send small messages for him during the day, tell him how much you love him and what great a man he is, make him feel wanted. It’s not just girls who want to know how much they are loved and wanted.

And try to stop being so frustrated, it deffo don’t help any of you.
May 4, 2014 at 10:21 am

#812979
1

jakebrown

@jakebrown

Member
How he is lasting so long? I’m surprised ! Please let me know, how is he controlling ejaculation for a long time?
May 7, 2014 at 3:45 pm

#812978
1

The Psyentist

@the-psyentist

Member
@jakebrown 560323 wrote:

How he is lasting so long? I’m surprised ! Please let me know, how is he controlling ejaculation for a long time?

I think if he knew the answer to that this thread would not have been created. By the way buddy; meditation/breathing exercises are a good way of practising prolonging your duration. Whilst masturbating (or during sex, but I’d recommend practising it alone first) concentrate on your breathing. Basically the more you allow your brain to home in on that ‘I’m about to cum’ feeling the more likely you are to blow your load before you’re ready.

Alternatively, next time you’re having sex and you’re getting ready to climax, just close your eyes. Now imagine that whatever grunting or screaming noise your partner is making is an elderly relative. Instantly gives you a few more minutes at least while you try and shake off such images. Just don’t let your partner see the panic and shame in your eyes as you accidentally fill them whilst thinking of your grandma, explaining that puts some awkwardness in the atmosphere to say the least.
May 7, 2014 at 6:14 pm

#812977
1

Chrispydelic

@chrispydelic

Participant
You’re both focusing too much on what’s not happening and missing the moment.
May 10, 2014 at 6:12 pm

#812980
1

jakebrown

@jakebrown

Member
@The Psyentist 560496 wrote:

I think if he knew the answer to that this thread would not have been created. By the way buddy; meditation/breathing exercises are a good way of practising prolonging your duration. Whilst masturbating (or during sex, but I’d recommend practising it alone first) concentrate on your breathing. Basically the more you allow your brain to home in on that ‘I’m about to cum’ feeling the more likely you are to blow your load before you’re ready.

Alternatively, next time you’re having sex and you’re getting ready to climax, just close your eyes. Now imagine that whatever grunting or screaming noise your partner is making is an elderly relative. Instantly gives you a few more minutes at least while you try and shake off such images. Just don’t let your partner see the panic and shame in your eyes as you accidentally fill them whilst thinking of your grandma, explaining that puts some awkwardness in the atmosphere to say the least.

I think, you have suggested great tips. I will implement on the same and further will check my sex score with this app https://play.google.com/store/apps/developer?id=Viamed+Australia
May 11, 2014 at 8:55 am

#812976
[deleted]

@[deleted]

Guest
Sounds just like a lot of long term relationships. Sex does get to be quite mechanic and often becomes just a ‘job’.

Maybe you should try and rekindle your relationship a bit? Have a night out together and kiss eachother. It sounds silly but it makes a big difference and would lead on to more pasionate and enjoyable sex.
Author

Posts

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.