jester jin lacoy wrote:
Im seeking help , from othere peeps i spent two years in jail for selling pot and ive bin out four months but i cant seem to allow myself into a relationship but i care for a lot of people idont no theres this one girl i thinke i love but i fel stuck and dont no any more . plz help:hopeless: [mouse]im onley asking for help[/mouse]
:group_hug:group_hug:group_hug:group_hug:group_hug
I think you need to come to terms that you were in jail and get over the fact that society attaches stigma to this [the correctness or otherwise or the law that got you jailed notwithstanding]. This will be with you most of your life when dealing with those who know you at this time or have the right to ask about whether you have any criminal convictions.
You got caught and you have done your time now. That means that the justice system is done with you unless you get caught again. In five years the conviction will be spent [you no longer need to declare it except for the most rigorous background checks who will be able to find it anyway]
I am fairly confident that you will not have enjoyed being in prison and while you were in there you were guarded with your thoughts and feelings so as to stay safe [prison not being the nicest enviroment to survive in].
Now you are out you need to learn how to let down your guard again and trust the people in your life. If you never trust anyone how will you ever make new friends and loved ones? You need to take that risk to find out if they are trustworthy. Its the only way to find out.:wink:
You are probably hyper-aware of the fact you have been in prison but what you need to realise is that the population at large is far more concerned about their life issues than yours. When you are wondering down the street and think they are giving you funny looks you would likely find, if you asked them, that they are trying to work out what to have for lunch or something equally trivial.
Work your way through this stuff [it can take a while to process these kind of experiences] and then let them go. Relax and let go of the anxiety about your background – stress is not good for you in the first place, a waste of energy anyway and wont change the past. Accept you made mistakes you are not proud of and move on [everyone has some kind of shameful skeleton in their closet; the only difference is yours was publicly viewed and judged by others].
Dont carry the court and prison experience with you for the rest of life – leave it here and enjoy the rest of your life.
If you are serious about this girl then it is far better you tell her about your past than somebody else does it out of malice. You may find that she attaches less importance to it than you do anyway and if not then better to know now than have her be hurt and angry when she finds out later down the line.:wink:
Be assured that there are people out there who will judge you by who you are now rather than what you did in your past. These are the friends worth having in my opinion and they will accept you for who you are, warts and all.:group_hug
