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Forums Life Jokes & Humour Made me laugh

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    • Staff

      :laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at:

      Don’t you just hate

      1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time….I know where my watch is pal, where the F*** is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

      2. When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. F****** right! What good is a cake if you can’t eat it?

      3. When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why the F*** would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

      4. When people say while watching a film “did you see that?”. No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the F****** floor.

      5. People who ask “Can I ask you a question?. Didn’t really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

      6. When people say “life is short”. What the F***?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever F****** does!! What can you do that’s longer?

      7. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?

      8. People who say things like ‘My eyes aren’t what they used to be’. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?

      9. When you’re eating something and someone asks ‘Is that nice?’ No it’s really revolting – I always eat stuff I hate.

      10. McDonalds staff who pretend they don’t understand you if you don’t insert the ‘Mc’ before the item you are ordering….. It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I’ll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you F****** McTosser.

      Angel wrote:
      6. When people say “life is short”. What the F***?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever F****** does!! What can you do that’s longer?

      :satisfied nice, never thought about it like that before

      :laugh_at: well that cheered me up during my revision

      mmmeoooww

      /me RATFLMAO

      :laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at:

      Has cheered me right up too raaa

      Raj wrote:
      * Raj RATFLMAO

      :laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at:

      Has cheered me right up too raaa

      i always wonder so . . . whats RATFLMAO? :shy:


        Staff

        Rolling Around The Floor Laughing My Ass Off

        http://www.lib.berkeley.edu/EART/abbrev.html

        raaa

        nice, thankyou A :love:

        now get up of the floor and stopp this humour, its all wrong:laugh_at:

        timid rabbit wrote:
        now get up of the floor and stopp this humour, its all wrong:laugh_at:

        😛 stop being a spoilsport :groucho:

        :laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at::group_hug

        Raj wrote:
        😛 stop being a spoilsport :groucho:

        :laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at::group_hug

        who little old innocent bunny rabbit

        hahaha ace them…an soo true …:love:

        Here’s some more for you all

        Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every two hours?

        If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

        Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

        Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?

        Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

        Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

        Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

        Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

        Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

        Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?

        What is the speed of darkness?

        Are there specially reserved parking spaces for “normal” people at the Special Olympics?

        If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

        If it’s true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

        Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

        Do you cry under water?

        How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

        Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

        Did you ever stop and wonder…..

        Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

        Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s bum.”

        Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

        Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

        Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

        Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

        Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

        If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

        If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

        If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

        Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

        Stop singing and read on . . . . . . . .

        Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

        Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

        Does pushing the lift button more than once make it arrive faster?

        raaa hahaha ……answers on a postcard please !

        LOL – some quality ones there Mel!

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      Forums Life Jokes & Humour Made me laugh