Office Party Survival Guide
There is no event with so much potential for disaster than the office party.
It’s the time of year when pent-up frustrations, attraction, rivalry, jealousy and resentment are suddenly uncorked like a shaken-up bottle of bubbly.
Combine all this with a nightclub, restaurant and bar, add free or heavily subsidised booze, and you have all the makings of a disaster that can prove embarrassing for months. So, how to remain unscathed?
:weee: First, set yourself an alcohol limit, and stick to it. Don’t get drunk just to prove how hip and carefree you are out of the office. Remember you are still at work. Someone, somewhere is watching you. And chances are they’ll have a mobile phone and a subscription to You Tube.
:weee: Next, it’s murder on the dancefloor. If you find yourself letting loose, ask yourself: ‘Do I look like David Brent in The Office?’ Don’t get carried away and snog anyone in public. Wear big Bridget Jones pants so there will be no way you’ll want to take them off.
:weee: Next, watch what you say. Just because you are in a pub doesn’t mean you can tell everyone about Steve from stationary’s embarrassing medical problem, or reveal that, yes, your boss and his secretary ARE having an affair. But don’t talk shop either.
:weee: Conspicuous networking is a big no-no. You’ll just look smarmy and toady.
If you bring your partner, be sure to include him or her in proceedings. And make sure he/she is well-briefed on office politics to avoid embarrassment.
If you want to leave early, make sure you have a genuine and believable excuse ready, but be prepared for this to be held against you for at least three months. Never be the last to leave a party.
Finally, if the booze starts flowing and you forget all this, just remember the words of American stand-up comedian Phyllis Diller: “What I don’t like about office parties is looking for a new job the next day.”
