The "blonde jokes" thread

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

Well i’m blond so I dare to poste these!

[FONT=times new roman,helvetica]Shortage of parachutes
A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane.

The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them.

The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped.

The pope told the brunette to take the last one.

The brunette said, “There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my backpack!”

Add your own!

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[1 Sound-Guy @sound-guy Member]

A blonde sat at home doing a jigsaw turns to her husband and says “can you help me dear its supposed to be a tiger!”
He sighs and says “put the frosties back in the box luv”

[1 So not a good look @so-not-a-good-look Member]

:laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at:

[1 stax @stax Member]

:laugh_at: :laugh_at: :laugh_at: 😥
hahahaha nice1

[1 odge @odge Member]

3 blondes are walking throught the woods when they come across a set of tracks. The first blonde turns to the others and says oh i know these they’re rabbit tracks. The second blonde disagrees and states that they are clearly badger tracks. and the third turns and says that they’re deer tracks. During the long winded dispute, the 10:30 freight train to london hits and instantly kills all 3 of them.:crazy_diz

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

Blonde Car Accident

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck’s driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, “When you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!”

[1 Sound-Guy @sound-guy Member]

Q:What do blondes put behind there ears to attract men?

A:Their legs

[1 Sound-Guy @sound-guy Member]

Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to sparkle?

A: Shine a light in her ear

[1 Sound-Guy @sound-guy Member]

Q: Why did the blonde cross the road??

A: Never mind that, what was she doing out of the bedroom

HeHe

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

I can’t breathe without that

A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head.

“I need to take that walkman off your head,” says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde.

“You can’t! I’ll die!” retorts the blonde.

“I can’t cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!” says the beauty specialist getting annoyed.

“I said you can’t take it off, or I’ll die!”

The beauty specialist, outraged and flustered, grabs the walkman and throws it off the head of the blonde. Within seconds, the blonde dies. When the specialist picks up the walkman to listen, she hears it repeating “breath in, breath out, breath in”.

[1 So not a good look @so-not-a-good-look Member]

:laugh_at:

[1 Sound-Guy @sound-guy Member]

LMAO angel, nice 1

Q: Whats the advantage of being married to a blonde??

A: You can park in the disabled zone

Q: What does a blonde call a mushroom with a 9 inch stalk??

A: A funghi to be with

[1 So not a good look @so-not-a-good-look Member]

What do you call a Blonde with two Braincells?

……………………………………………………………Pregnant!

[1 So not a good look @so-not-a-good-look Member]

A Blonde and a Brunnette are walking in the park when the Brunnette says “Awww! look at the dead birdie” The blonde looks up and says “where!”

[1 Raj @raj Member]

There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.

Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.

The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.

The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.
“No,” she says, “yesterday I nearly got caught!”

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