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The "blonde jokes" thread

Forums Life Jokes & Humour The "blonde jokes" thread

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  • Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?
    A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

    :groucho: :groucho: :groucho:

    How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    They don’t, they screw in Ford Cortinas :weee:


      Staff

      :laugh_at: :laugh_at: :laugh_at:

      [FONT=times new roman,helvetica]Helping a blond lose weight

      A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

      “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”

      When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.

      “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?”

      The blonde nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.

      “No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.
      [/FONT]

      Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
      A: A wind tunnel.

      :laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at:

      Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brunette?
      A: Artificial intelligence :groucho:

      Q: How do you tell if a bleached blonde did your landscaping?
      A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the garden….


        Staff

        A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.

        The brunette suggested, “There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it’s not going to be legal.”

        “That doesn’t matter at all,” replied the blonde. “All that matters it that I am able to sell this car.”

        “Alright,” replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: “Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn’t be a problem to sell your car.”

        The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette’s advice.

        About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, “Did you sell your car?”

        “No!” replied the blonde. “Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it.”

        :laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at:

        why was the blonde woman staring at an carton of juice?

        because it said CONCENTRATE

        How does a blonde switch off the light after making love?

        She shuts the car’s door…


          Staff

          :biggreen:


            Staff

            printer1.jpg

            RATFLMAO :laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at:

            2 guys are talkin in d pud one says what ur fav sex position and the other guys says u tell firist ok says the firist one mines the rodeo whats that ? says the second guy well says the firist guy its a bit like doggy cept u wisper in her ear ur sister likes it like this too then see if u can hang on for 8 seconds lol

            :lol_up:

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          Forums Life Jokes & Humour The "blonde jokes" thread