Thought I’d share this because it made me laugh…
10. The Clowndom: The first clown inspired condom. Upon reaching climax, steamers and confetti explode into the violated oriface.
Reason for rejection: Choking, extreme discomfort, unintentional hilarity.
9. The Icy Hot Condom: Starts by cooling the penis to “bone” chilling temperatures, followed by an unbearable scorching sensation.
Reason for rejection: One of the least popular test condoms of all time, also, Shaquille O’Neal endorsement fell through.
8. The Bling Condom: Condom encrusted with diamonds and gold, utilized patented “pimp chalice” reservoir tip technology.
Reason for rejection: Outrageously expensive for a condom that is expected to be thrown away after one use, users experienced chafing from having diamonds rubbing against their genitals.
7. The Clitoris Condom: The first condom designed specifically for a woman’s clitoris.
Reason for rejection: It was discovered that a condom designed specifically for a woman’s clitoris is completely unnecessary for any purpose whatsoever. Re-branded as “Lil’ Stinkers Nose Pickers” a foul smelling nose picking aid for the fingertips.
6. George W. Bush: For when you don’t want to pull out.
Reason for failure: May cause recession.
5. The Anime themed condom: A condom branded with the most popular of all anime themed shows, including Gundam Wing, Dragon Ball Z and others.
Reason for rejection: Mysteriously, not a single condom was sold.
4. The Fellowship: A condom of many firsts. The first Lord of the Rings inspired condom, as well as the first condom to have the ability to sheath the testicles as well as penis during intercourse.
Reason for rejections: The tagline was “For when you’re bagging the last cave troll in Mordor” was considered one of the most insensitive and offensive slogans ever created.
3. The Wax Condom: Invented back in 1756 accidentally by Sir J. Edward Grundlehorn, who spilled an entire fortnight’s worth of molten candle wax onto his penis. The wax condom was one of the first “condom” to actually prevent pregnancy, it worked except that it made intercourse extremely painful.
Reason for failure: After multiple applications, J. Edward commented that the wax condom “Made my penis look as if it twas of a character that of only rotten salami possessed”.
2. The OJ Simpson Condom: Fits like a glove (except after use), includes Johnny Cockring, and comes in 93′ Ford Bronco white.
Reason for failure: People only bought it once.
1. Fuddy Duddys: One of the biggest failures in contraceptive history. Listen to one of their original radio spots.
