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  • Ive been off the subys since April and i still have days when i feel propa shit,im nearly always strung out,constantly jitterin me fukin legs up n down to the point where me mates have a go at me cause it drives um all mad.I still find the mornins a struggle sometimes, but im sure half of that is psychological,after usin for years u always feel shit in the mornin………….i feel like its takin forever to get away from this,and its so bloody hard sometimes when ur feelin strung out,i smoke weed by the fukin lorry load,i did try to stop but was climbin the walls within 8 hours so gave that idea the boot lol.But then the positives are i dont spend all my time runnin around tryin to make a never endin supply of tenners,i have free time,me time n thats wiked and ive put some weight on,and most of all im me again…..worth all the pain n shit of the detox anyday..
    xxDDDxx

    well, it’s my last day on my latest short course of diazepam due to going a bit crazy again with overbearing anxiety, at least the doc scripted it for me which is something i guess, some docs will do sweet FA for us recovering addicts

    i also take 25mg seroquel (quetiapine, antipsychotic class) as required to calm myself down and 40mg of the beta blocker propranolol 3 times a day, all scripted by doctor, plus 7.5 to 15mg of zopiclone at night if required (does fuck all even though i don’t take it regularly)

    and this is 4.5 months since jumping from subutex, must have been about april time for me too DDD so we are probably at about the same stage :s

    but, you are so right, it is worth every bit of mental and physical anguish because the rewards are huge, to return to being a human being again 🙂

    man, i wish i had some weed to help me through this but i moved from my home town to get away from certain people and have no contacts… i literally go insane sometimes through lack of simple green medication and have ended up taking upto 20 seroquel tablets plus alcohol plus upto 16 zopiclone on a few days when i just lost the plot completely and wanted to die…

    funny how that a few tokes on green would have sorted me out completely and i wouldn’t have needed to risk OD on scripted meds…

    i so wish my doc could prescribe green, it really would save me from insanity to have just a few hours a day of escaping the numbness and inability to enjoy anything or relax etc…

    things are improving every day, it’s just so damn hard that it goes on for so long…

    but i ain’t giving up, the life of a dope fiend is over for me, it’s not a life, it’s a living death, the opiates don’t work, they start off as a high and end up killing everything but the pain…

    great to hear you are continuing the battle too DDD, massive respect to you 🙂 is so encouraging to know i’m not the only one and that as crazy as this all is, it is the ‘normal’ process for WDs from opiates (especially long acting ones)

    yeh i’m putting on weight too, man, i’m kinda struggling with food addition now :s, i’ve put on 2 stone and i wasn’t slim before either… unlike some junkies I used to eat like a horse while on opiates, maybe cos i was munching so many diazepam as well…

    gotta laugh, in a sick kinda black humour way, that i got so used to noming vallies that i’d use them as sweetners (as they always tasted kinda sweet on my tongue), i used to think nothing of taking 5 blues with a cup of tea for a morning…

    anyway, i’m rambling now…

    xx -> DDD 🙂

    U are more than welcome to ramble away as much as u want hun,does the mind good to waffle,well thats my excuse anyway lol.
    Its a shame about u not bein able to get hold of any green cause it would so help u to relax,move a bit closer n u cn cum smoke mine lmao,i make sure now that i never run out.Im lucky i spose as im not on any medication at all now,so dont have to contend with that,decided not to do the valise thing as i get hooled on then straight away then im like a baby who looses her dummy,megga tantrums if i cnt get any.
    Funny thing happened the other day,was in town and i bumped into an old gear mate, like u ive changed my social circle so id not sen him for 2yrs,he was sayin how well i looked n i was lappin it up lol then he proceded to tell me how he had been gettin clean aswell and hadnt touched anythin for months which made me chuckle to myself cause i cld smell it on him,rekon he must of been smokin it not 5 mins befor i saw him and i so remember doin that myself….u know the scenario when ur still doin gear but someone else u know has got clean so u tell them ur doin the same even tho its total bullshit,bless him i cld hear it in his voice aswell,dont know about u but i cn tell a junkie from a mile away.I only have to speak to my ex on the fone to know wheather hes still doin gear or not,infact i cn even tell by the way he writes a txt mess,how fukin mad is that.
    Anyway now im ramblin,keep up the good work ur doin wiked and take care.
    xxDDDxx

    Spice? =D

    That was one great ramble DDD. I enjoyed it immensely 🙂

    Yeh, t’is good to get stuff off your chest. We’re too used to not expressing emotions suppressed by opiates.

    I am taking something slightly different for my medication now, it’s working very nicely 🙂

    and yes, i’ve said myself “i can spot a junky a mile away”, it’s almost like a sixth sense!

    @peyote 325236 wrote:

    I have just bought an ounce of methadrone and was wondering how much to take a once to get the desired affect.please could someone help.

    methadrone is a completely different drug mate.

    what a bannana!

    @vincentx90 345691 wrote:

    well that’s the warning guys, never go to the nhs when wanting to come off H

    @vincentx90 349974 wrote:

    well, it’s my last day on my latest short course of diazepam due to going a bit crazy again with overbearing anxiety, at least the doc scripted it for me which is something i guess, some docs will do sweet FA for us recovering addicts

    i also take 25mg seroquel (quetiapine, antipsychotic class) as required to calm myself down and 40mg of the beta blocker propranolol 3 times a day, all scripted by doctor, plus 7.5 to 15mg of zopiclone at night if required (does fuck all even though i don’t take it regularly)

    sorry to be devils advocate here guys – but we are a bunch of lucky fuckers in the UK to have an NHS in my opinion!!

    I know its not run great and differs from geographical area to specailist area – but…. be realistic – where would each an everyone of us be with out it??

    not meaning to be personal Vincent – and all due respect for your detox- it can’t and doesnt sound as if its been an easy ride – but you say some dr’s do sweet FA for recovering addicts –
    mayabe, but in your own words your juice or subbies are on prescription, and the quetiapine and the vallium and the zopiclone…..

    Dr’s cant cure addiction as you know – it comes from within but they (and no not all of them sure ) but alot of them try and aid and assist recovery, there are speacialist teams / outreach availiable on the NHS, inpatient detox, rehabilitation and secondary rehab and thirtary rehab and resettlement etc etc –
    so I really dont go with the blanket statement, compair us to the US and their current policies…..

    sorry but this is something I feel very passionate about – with out the NHS in general we would all be fucked, and people needing scripts and facilitation would be too
    and neonatal babies and those of us that hit it too heavy at the weekend and end up calling an ambulance, and those who have a car crash or are knocked over and those with special needs etc ect…….

    :group_hug:group_hug

    (*end of my rant now :wink:)

    @Tank Girl 351088 wrote:

    sorry to be devils advocate here guys – but we are a bunch of lucky fuckers in the UK to have an NHS in my opinion!!

    I know its not run great and differs from geographical area to specailist area – but…. be realistic – where would each an everyone of us be with out it??

    not meaning to be personal Vincent – and all due respect for your detox- it can’t and doesnt sound as if its been an easy ride – but you say some dr’s do sweet FA for recovering addicts –
    mayabe, but in your own words your juice or subbies are on prescription, and the quetiapine and the vallium and the zopiclone…..

    Dr’s cant cure addiction as you know – it comes from within but they (and no not all of them sure ) but alot of them try and aid and assist recovery, there are speacialist teams / outreach availiable on the NHS, inpatient detox, rehabilitation and secondary rehab and tertiary rehab and resettlement etc etc –
    so I really dont go with the blanket statement, compair us to the US and their current policies…..

    sorry but this is something I feel very passionate about – with out the NHS in general we would all be fucked, and people needing scripts and facilitation would be too
    and neonatal babies and those of us that hit it too heavy at the weekend and end up calling an ambulance, and those who have a car crash or are knocked over and those with special needs etc ect…….

    :group_hug:group_hug

    (*end of my rant now :wink:)

    fixed raaaraaa

    @Buzz 351107 wrote:

    fixed raaaraaa

    yeh I cant spell for shit 😉

    @Tank Girl 351121 wrote:

    yeh I cant spell for shit 😉

    awesome, its all good. i just have a bad habbit of having to correct shit.

    edit: omg 100 posts 😀

    yeh, i’m not knocking the NHS per se…

    to be more specific, what i meant is that i object hugely to the approach taken in the specialist area of the treatment of opiate dependency/withdraws/etc…

    have you been through long term opiate withdrawals?

    I don’t know whether you have or not and am not going to presume anything. I can assure you that many doctors, in the field of opiate addiction, do very little to help when you decide to ‘jump’. They didn’t even prepare me with accurate information as to what I was in for. Thank goodness I found a website that told me everything I needed to know and assured me I wasn’t the only one still rattling after 5 months.

    I spent the first 6 weeks rattling without any meds, withdrew from society, felt too ill to get up and do anything. Even when I managed a 12 hour working day (labouring), after not sleeping the previous night, I still couldn’t sleep that night despite being absolutely knackered.

    Eventually the withdraws sent me over the edge and I ended up on a psychiatric ward for a few weeks following lame but ‘potentially fatal’ attempts at suicide.

    Correction: I do not get my juice or subbies on script. I quit the whole lot 5 months ago and steer well clear of any type of opioid analgesic. This isn’t as easy as it sounds as I have constant pain from a whiplash injury and gall stones that sporadically cause enough pain to make me wanna puke and pass out. The strongest painkiller i take for this is paracetamol.

    I have found GP’s far more sympathetic than any of the psychiatrists in the addiction field. However, once on the psychiatric ward under 30mins/24-7 observation, they finally relented that I did need sleeping tablets as they witnessed first hand that I just didn’t sleep until my body crashed and just shut me down.

    Anyway’se, just to verify; I am not knocking the NHS in general or the staff, just the outpatient treatment for addicts/recovering addicts. The rehabs you mention are not as widely available as you might think and then getting funding can be a real problem. I was not offered any rehab even after my stay on a psychiatric ward. The psychiatrists and social worker could not seem to understand just how severe withdrawals are even after a taper.

    I’ve been offered the ‘possibility’ of rehab only in the last week. It’s a bit late in coming since I’m 5 months down the line. I went to visit the place and it was ok but I’d prefer to stay in ‘society’ around ‘regular’ people so I can get my head straight. A few months back I’d have jumped at the chance of the rehab placement but was given various excuses as to why I couldn’t be considered (all comes down to the social worker finding/allocating funds).

    Even if I was to accept the rehab placement, it could take months for the social worker to tell me if the funding is/isn’t available. By then I’d have, once again, moved on to another stage and it would all probably be irrelevant.

    The conventional medicines that I’m prescribed are pretty useless. In fact, they seem to cause more problems than they solve. I can mention some meds that are of more use but shall refrain from doing so…

    THE MAIN POINT
    of all this is… Do not, ever, get into the opiate thing. Avoid it like you would the plague. Once in, you’ll spend the rest of your life struggling to get back out or at least a good decade or so.

    there is no class of drugs that are in the same league as opiates when it comes to physical and psychological addiction, maybe with the exception of that evil crack shite… although even with crack you don’t get the physical addiction just an insanely compulsive psychological one that will wreck your life pretty much anyway’se…

    Yours rattling (and no doubt rambling to boot),

    vincent.

    @Buzz 351135 wrote:

    awesome, its all good. i just have a bad habbit of having to correct shit.

    edit: omg 100 posts 😀

    hmmm, sounds like me 😀 Ever considered aspergers? That isn’t meant as an insult, aspergers is cool and I love being who I am.

    Oh, DDD -> major hugs 😉

    Thanks for your response Vincent and as I said I wasnt being personal – I just get frustrated when blanket statements about the nhs are made :hopeless: as i said it is something I am really passionate about

    I understand addiction is a terriably difficult thing to face and work through – both physically and mentally / emotionally – and of mental health I can understand the psych ward thing

    unfortunatley the psych lot wont ‘touch’ you til you sort out your addiction and the addiction lot wont touch you if you are currently mentally unwell or high risk and it is a viscious circle, a psychiatric ward is also NO place to do a detox / stabilisation / titration – it is a totally incorrect environment and specialist detox units are much better equipped to deal with what might be going on, specifically trained and geared towards it – but not geared towards people who are mentally unwell or high risk as they are often unable to deatain if necessary, have ligature points etc etc

    and totally agree with you regarding rehab – they have recently changed the criteria again and made it even more difficult to secure funding – and geographical areas differ as there is alot of services open where I live and the team are generally really motivated, keen and empathetic- rather than apethetic and burnt out.

    but compair it to not having any service at all for addictions that is free like the US and atleast we have something – and I agree it doesnt always work and isnt always the best, but it is there to be accessed if people are ready. often socail services / family put pressure on to indivduals to detox when it really isnt their time, as it has to come wholey from within

    my opinion of GP is slightly different I find they over prescribe and usually not necessarily in a good way long term – but just to get you out of the surgery, and I have found them incrediabley judgemental and seriously lacking in knowledge

    I also strongly believe substance use is a symptom not a cause, it is a learnt behaviour not a disease, I like to look at the word as ‘dis – ease’, ill at ease / uncomfortable with ones self emotionally, as labeliing it a disease negates personal responsibility – but I know NA/AA view it as a disease – really whatever works for you – and everyone is entiltled to an opinion and may not necessarily agree with me – its just how I have learnt to see things over the years

    ps, spot the spelling mistakes in that one :laugh_at:

    bet theres tons!!

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Forums Drugs Heroin & Opium What is Methadone?