OTT Police raid dear oh dear....... :you_crazy
:laugh_at::laugh_at:
Riot police stormed a 30th birthday party for just 15 people and shut it down, thinking it was a rave because it was advertised on Facebook.
Four police cars, a riot van and a helicopter were involved in the swoop on Andrew Poole's gathering for his family and friends.
He was just about to light the barbecue and had not even turned on the music when the gazebo suddenly started flapping wildly and the sound of chopper blades filled the air.
Eight officers wearing camouflage trousers and body armour jumped out and demanded that the 'rave' to be shut down.
Mr Poole said: 'We were nowhere near anyone. We weren't even playing any music. What effectively the police did was come in and stop 15 people eating burgers.'
Facebook police raided my family barbecue | Metro.co.uk
UK : W : The Wedding’s off…. busted... :laugh_at:
A bride-to-be who discovered her fiance was a porn star after her maid of honour searched the internet for a hen-do stripper has called the marriage off.
Heartbroken Haylie Hocking, from Bristol, learnt of Jason Brake's secret life as a stripper and "adult film actor" just weeks before the big day.
Bride-to-be dumps porn star fiance (From This Is Wiltshire)
DE : Brothel offers green discount for cyclists.. more bizzare stuff I found as a link on a cycling forum..
A German brothel is going green in a bid to attract more business in tough economic times.
Customers who arrive by bicycle at Berlin's Maison d'Envie will receive a five-euro ($7, £4.30) discount on the usual fee of 70 euros.
The discount also applies to those who can prove they took public transport to get there, owner Thomas Goetz said.
"It's good for business, it's good for the environment and it's good for the girls," he said.
BBC NEWS | Europe | Brothel offers 'green' discount
72 Year Old Man Beats Up Would Be Knife Robber Burglar Gets Battered By Brave Pensioner
A knife-wielding burglar got the shock of his life when he was left battered and bruised by a 72-year-old former boxer.
Burglar Gregory McCalium got on the wrong side of ex-boxer Frank Corti
Gregory McCalium, 24, was punched twice in the face after breaking into the home of Frank Corti.
The OAP said he was compelled to defend himself and his wife after McCalium threatened them at their home in Botley, Oxford.
McCalium had thrown a knife at the pensioner - which missed. At that point the 72-year-old used his boxing skills to stop the would-be attacker in his tracks.
"I had to restrain him before he could go and get the knife," Mr Corti told the Oxford Mail.
"I was scared when he first threw the knife, but most people would have acted in the same way.
"If you can't defend what's yours, where are we at?"
Oxford Crown Court heard that McCalium confronted the couple after a row over noise levels.
Frank Corti in 1954 aged 16 (Pic: Oxford Mail)
He was drunk after attending a party when he forced his way into Mr Corti's home at 8am on August 19 last year.
McCalium threw the knife towards Mr Corti but the former Royal Engineer dodged the blade and then punched him.
Detective Constable Jon Shaw, from Thames Valley Police, said: "The elderly man, who at the time was at home with his wife, was able to subdue the man until the police arrived.
"Fortunately no one was more injured in this incident but this was still a terrifying situation and McCalium must now pay for his actions."
McCalium, a cocktail barman, was sentenced to four-and-a-half years in jail after being convicted of aggravated burglary.
Mr Corti said he was "very pleased" with the outcome.
"Our life was severely disrupted by the incident and we are pleased he won't be troubling us for a few years," he added.
original article here
Stories/quotes for wedding If you have funny stories or quotes that can work in a wedding please post them here.
If you have links to good writers that have been writing about relationship/wedding/friendship etc in a houmorous way please post that as well.
Who Wants To Be A American/Millionaire? Best who wants to be a millionaire USA. Arent they smart!!
YouTube - Millionaire first question wrong
YouTube - Lady Fails At Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
YouTube - american dumbass
UK : East : Norfolk cops in action In the last week alone they have nicked a scarecrow for impersonating a Police officer - and banned Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for having no MOT!!!
Zero tolerance knows no boundaries..
Norfolk police detain 'inappropriate' village scarecrow - EDP24
Chitty Chitty ban ban - East Anglian Daily Times
UK : N : Chimps break out of zoo, raid kitchen An investigation is under way into how 30 chimpanzees escaped their enclosure at Chester Zoo, forcing its evacuation.
The primates found their way into a nearby keepers' area, where their food is usually prepared, on Sunday afternoon, the zoo said
BBC NEWS | UK | England | Merseyside | Inquiry into zoo's chimp escape
Sarah Jones, from Chester, was among the visitors at the zoo when the animals left their enclosure."My two young boys had only just gone into the chimpanzee house when we heard terrifying loud noises," she said. "The chimpanzees were large animals and they seemed very upset about something,
probably because it was the equivalent to them of one of our raves being shut down by riot cops :laugh_at:
Clocks A man died and went to heaven.
As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, “What are all those clocks?”
St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”
“Oh,” said the man, “Whose clock is that?” “That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”
“Incredible,” said the man. “And whose clock is that one?” St. Peter responded,
“That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.”
“Where’s George Bush’s?” asked the man.
” George Bushs clock is in God’s office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”
Shot Glass A man walks up to the bartender and says, “Y’see that cup over there? I’ll bet $100 that I can piss in it from here!” The bartender readily agrees, because the shot glass is way over on the other side of the bar. So the man unzips and whips it out, then pisses in a million different directions, coming nowhere even close to the shot glass. Meanwhile the bartender’s laughing so hard he can barely breathe.
“Pay up,” gasps the bartender, so the man walks over and grabs $400 from a third guy playing pool. The bartender asks, “Why did that guy give you the money?”
And the first guy says, “‘Cause I bet him $400 I could piss all over your bar and you’d just laugh about it!
Wallabies on smack do the strangest things! Wallabies are getting high on opium from poppy fields and flattening crops, an Australian official has said.
The marsupials have been snacking on poppies growing in fields in Tasmania, the world's largest producer of legally-grown optium for medicines.
Afterwards, they hop round in circles before crashing on top of the crops and trampling them to the ground.
State attorney general Lara Giddings told a parliamentary hearing: "We have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles.
"Then they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high."
Other animals, including deer and sheep, have also been seen "acting weird" after eating the poppy plants, according to an opium industry spokesman.
"There have been many stories about sheep that have eaten some of the poppies after harvesting and they all walk around in circles," Rick Rockliff said.
Tasmania has around 500 farms which supply about 50% of the world's raw material for morphine and other related opiates
Wallabies On Opium Damaging Poppy Crops In Australia, Tasmania Attorney General Lara Giddings Says | World News | Sky News
:laugh_at:
Dedicated to those that FALL! I think we need a dedicated thread for those that fall down and hurt themselves. I find this highly amusing and lets face it we all need a good laugh now and then.
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Got any funny vids of people falling and/ or hurting themselves then post em here.
(don't watch if easily offended, then again if most things offend you then don't go outside, watch TV or watch videos of people hurting themselves, Don't cry here's a tissue)
:wink:12
Prostitute Parrots A lady approaches her priest and says, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquires.
"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"
"That's terrible," the priest exclaims, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."
"Thank you!" the woman responds.
The next day, the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"
One male parrot looks at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!" :weee:
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