My Chinese Mate Hung Chow Got Fired Hung Chow called into work and said "hey, I no come work today. I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt. I no come work."
The boss said "you know something Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better. You try that."
2 hours later, Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great! I be at work soon..........You got nice house."
wakka wakka 12
Aggressive Chinese Ships Use Secret Tactics
Quote:
Maritime experts were given a rare glimpse of the underlying capabilities of the Chinese navy on Sunday, when crewmen involved in a stand-off with a US surveillance ship in the South China Sea revealed the fleet's previously hidden firepower.
The exposure came as the American vessel USNS Impeccable was attempting to defend itself against what the Pentagon claimed was co-ordinated harassment and aggression from five Chinese ships. Being unarmed, the Impeccable turned its fire water hoses against two of the Chinese vessels that had come within 50 feet in a threatening posture.
Stand-off with US ship shows Chinese navy's secret tactics | World news | The Guardian
Police: Drunk Man Crashed Motorized Bar Stool Police: Drunk Man Crashed Motorized Bar Stool
NEWARK, Ohio — A man faces charges after police said he crashed a motorized bar stool while under the influence of alcohol. According to a news release issued Monday by police, the crash occurred on March 4 along Kelley Lane, located north of downtown Newark.
The release said that an officer was responding to an injury crash when he discovered that a motorized bar stool had been wrecked along the road. An investigation revealed that an intoxicated 28-year-old was operating the bar stool when he crashed, police said.
SLIDESHOW: Images From Report
According to court records obtained by 10TV News, Kile Wygle admitted to drinking about 15 beers before hopping on the bar stool and driving down the street, 10TV's Andy Hirsch reported.
Wygle apparently told police that the bar stool could reach speeds of 38 mph, but he said the contraption was only traveling 20 mph at the time of the crash.
He was issued a citation for OVI and driving under suspension, investigators said.
Wygle has pleaded not guilty to the charges.
Watch 10TV News and refresh 10TV.com for additional information.
Here you find the original story; 10TV.COM
:crazy_dru:bounce_fl
60 Foot Penis :laugh_at:
An 18-year-old has secretly painted a 60ft drawing of a phallus on the roof of his parents' £1million mansion in Berkshire. It was there for a year before his parents found out. They say he'll have to scrub it off when he gets back from travelling.
BBC - Newsbeat
Aaargh! Kill Them With Fire! [yt]SMWi7CLoZ2Q[/yt]
hmmm how do you embedd a video?
angel wrote:
Link to the video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMWi7CLoZ2Q
Take this SMWi7CLoZ2Q and put betweet the youtube tags that comes when you press this
David Hasselhoff: 28 Things You Didn’t Know About Him 28 things you didn't know about The Hoff:
1. David Hasselhoff once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
2. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures David Hasselhoff allows to live.
3. When David Hasselhoff drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.
4. When David Hasselhoff was born, the nurse said, "Holy *rap! That's David Hasselhoff!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
5. When David Hasselhoff goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
6. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects David Hasselhoff could use to kill you, including the room itself.
7. The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from David Hasselhoff and forgot to pay him back.
8. David Hasselhoff can count backwards from infinity.
9. Crop circles are David's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fu*k down.
10. When David Hasselhoff jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets David instead. David Hasselhoff is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
11. David Hasselhoff can divide by zero.
12. In fine print on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by David Hasselhoff, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
13. David Hasselhoff is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's *hit.
14. David Hasselhoff has two speeds: walk and kill.
15. David Hasselhoff is the reason why Wally is hiding.
16. David Hasselhoff can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.....at night.
17. You are what you eat. That is why David Hasselhoff diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
18. David Hasselhoff once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
19. David Hasselhoff played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
20. If you were to lock David Hasselhoff in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this David replied "Because Grammys are for queers." Then he'd eat a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
21. On his birthday, David Hasselhoff randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
22. David Hasselhoff doesn't believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his *enis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while fu**ing another.
23. When David Hasselhoff does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
24. Whenever David Hasselhoff puts out a cigarette, he throws it in slow motion into a long line of gasoline and calmly walks away as an inferno erupts behind him.
25. David Hasselhoff invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light......except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
26. David Hasselhoff coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
27. David Hasselhoff haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares.
28. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when David Hasselhoff punched himself in the face.
IN : Electrical Safety in India well they have at least put some barbed wire at the bottom of the pole. and just above the last set of 400V 3-phase connections below the 11 000V transformer there's a tiny sign with a skull and crossbones on it...
CN : Chinese Navy say "Pants to American Spy Ship" The Yanks have got their knickers in a twist over all this - not sure what the fuss is about TBH, no shots were fired, no one actually got hurt, and you would expect in the South China Sea to find Chinese ships there :laugh_at:
Quote:
Maritime experts were given a rare glimpse of the underlying capabilities of the Chinese navy on Sunday, when crewmen involved in a stand-off with a US surveillance ship in the South China Sea revealed the fleet's previously hidden firepower.
The exposure came as the American vessel USNS Impeccable was attempting to defend itself against what the Pentagon claimed was co-ordinated harassment and aggression from five Chinese ships. Being unarmed, the Impeccable turned its fire water hoses against two of the Chinese vessels that had come within 50 feet in a threatening posture.
Then, the Pentagon records in the admirably restrained language of international diplomacy, "the Chinese crew members disrobed to their underwear and continued closing to within 25 feet."
Stand-off with US ship shows Chinese navy's secret tactics | World news | The Guardian
HR : A lucky escape for a driver… I bet he will be more careful on the roads after this!
Driver wakes up in coffin
A Croatian motorist who crashed through an undertakers' window woke up to find himself in an open coffin.
Radoslav Pokrajac, 30, was thrown from the car through an open window and sailed through the air before landing in a display of the funeral director's special offers in Sibinj.
"He was very frightened," said one rescue worker. "When he woke up he didn't know if he was alive or dead."
And owner Miro Zirdum said it was not the first time a car had crashed into his shop.
"This is third or fourth time I've had a car in my shop," moaned Zirdum. "And none of them have brought me any business."
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