UK : East : Cambridgeshire kid finds cheetah in garden! random....
Quote:
A nine-year-old boy encountered an escaped cheetah in his back garden, a zoo said.
Boy finds escaped cheetah in garden - Yahoo! News UK
BBC NEWS | England | Cambridgeshire | Boy finds cheetah in back garden
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/mummy-theres-a-cheetah-in-the-garden-and-its-eating-my-bike-978549.html
luckily its a fairly tame one - the only recent cheetah attack I have heard of was on one of the BBC Wildlife reporters - and it had rabies (the cheetah, not the reporter)
UK : East : Local farmer dubbed "Turnip king" ''The turnip is becoming more sexy than it used to be and we supply about 90% of the UK supermarkets during the 10-month growing season.
EADT - Turnip king has grown 70 million veg
Harsh Practical Joke [FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]Those guys up there? Not happy. Not even a little. And with good reason! Bambang (left) and Nanang (right), two native Indonesians who were looking for government jobs, received word from a local village chief that there was a new requirement to work as an intelligence officer in Jakarta: facial tattoos. The only problem, of course, is that the chief — who received his information via text message — had been lied to, and he passed along some dreadfully poor instructions:[/FONT]
BME: Tattoo, Piercing and Body Modification News ModBlog The Funniest Practical Joke of All Time
Even worse they are proper shit tattoos as well...12
US : OH : Drunk woman busted by cops whilst dressed as cow… moo!
Quote:
A US woman will spend the next month in prison after chasing terrified children through an Ohio town dressed as a cow.
Michele Allen was hired to wear the outfit to promote a local "haunted trail" theme park in Middletown, but got drunk at work on the Saturday evening and caused chaos, chasing kids and bringing traffic to a halt.
She also urinated in a nearby yard during her rampage, police said.
Allen refused to calm down once taken to the local police station and according to police was yelling and challenging people to "suck her udders".
The 32-year-old, who was wearing nothing underneath the costume, was forced to wear it in a cell over the weekend and for her first court appearance, when she pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct.
She has been in trouble before and still owes $2,733 (£1,549) for an outstanding "failure to appear on a solicitation" charge. Middletown Municipal Court Judge Mark Wall said: "Michele is pretty well known to us. She's 'struggled,' to say the least."
CN : Couple get traffic ticket for giving driving lessons to pet dog… That's quite a lenient penalty TBH....
Quote:
A Chinese couple received a police caution for trying to teach their dog to drive.
Traffic police at Liunan spotted a car driving too slowly on a local expressway, reports Nanguo Morning Post.
As they pulled in behind the car, officers were amazed to see a poodle with its front legs on the steering wheel.
The dog's rear legs were resting on the woman driver who was controlling the foot pedals.
"We immediately signaled the car to pull over," said one of the patrolling officers.
The woman says she and her boyfriend came up with the idea of teaching their pet dog, Niu Niu, to drive after noticing the expressway was nearly empty and the weather was good.
Police gave them a warning ticket and asked them to take a more responsible attitude when driving on the expressway.
Ananova - Poodle drove car
How to Catch a Lion in the Sahara Desert? The method of inverse geometry: We place a spherical cage in the desert and enter it. We then perform an inverse operation with respect to the cage. The lion is then inside the cage and we are outside.
The set theoretic method: We observe that the desert is a separable space. It therefore contains an enumerable dense set of points from which can be extracted a sequence having the lion as the limit. We then approach the lion stealthily along this sequence bearing with us suitable equipment.
The Dirac method: We observe that wild lions are ipso facto not observable in the Sahara desert. Consequently if there are any lions in the Sahara, they are tame. The capture of a tame lion is left as an exercise for the reader.
The thermodynamic method: We construct a semi-permeable membrane which is permeable to everything except lions and sweep it across the Sahara.
What’s the best way to cook a cat? I was thinking of slow cooking one….. [SIZE=+1]Question: What's the best way to cook a cat? I was thinking of slow cooking one.[/SIZE]
A letter from Jim Me
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][SIZE=-1]PWEETA fully supports your right to eat cat (felis domesticus), or any other game meat in the privacy of your own home. On a "libertarian" medium like the Internet, there is no end of sites dedicated to the construction of homemade bombs and weapons of mass destruction. However, a quick check on any search engine will uncover a striking lack of quality cat eating advice available in English.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][SIZE=-1]The day may come, for whatever reason - rioting, pestilence, famine, or just plain curiosity - you will need to eat a cat. Your very survival may depend on this handy guide.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]PREPARING YOUR CAT FOR CONSUMPTION[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][SIZE=-1]Since cat meat isn't commercially available in the United States (and illegal to boot), you'll probably have to prepare cat yourself. If you live in the more enlightened domains of East Asia, and can purchase cat at the local market, you may want to skip this step and proceed to COOKING YOUR CAT.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][SIZE=-1]First, get a large cutting board and lay out your cat. Lop off the head, the tail and the feet with a sharp butcher's knife. These parts of the cat contain little usable meat, so toss them aside.
Next, make a longitudinal incision on the cat's abdomen. Reach your hand (wear gloves!) into the body cavity, and remove all of the internal organs. Discard them- especially the liver. It may look tasty, but the liver of a felis domesticus is frequently too toxic for human consumption.
[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]SKINNING YOUR CAT[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][SIZE=-1]
There’s more than one way to skin a cat- our exhaustive research uncovered two. On this site, two High School students meticulously guide you step-by-step through skinning a cat - complete with diagrams. To summarize, use a sharp knife to trim off the skin, and pull it back, snipping away at the muscle tissue.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][SIZE=-1]
Gourmands like to skin their cats differently. They hate shun using a skining knife, calling it crude. They reccomend you grab the loose skin around the head stump, and using a pair of pliers, peel it back off the carcass like a banana, rolling it off the body. The final step before cooking is to wash the meat of stray gristle and hairs. Nobody likes cat hair in their food.
[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]COOKING YOUR CAT[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][SIZE=-1]
Now you are ready to cook! One USENET account recommends placing a cat in a very high powered magnetron microwave. This device supposedly can cook a cat in approximately 10 minutes- the proteins are denatured (cooked), and sugars caramelized by microwave heating. The cat may be "cooked" but will it taste good? If you've ever tried to microwave a raw hamburger, you'll know the answer is "no." For the best taste, our reader inquired about possibly slow cooking a feline. That's exactly what we at PWEETA recommend- a slow cooked Beer Roasted Cat. Other cat recipes you may enjoy are classic Cat Tamales, Cat in Spicy Ginger Sauce, and Cat Au Gratin.
[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]BEER ROASTED CAT
1 cat cut into roast
1 can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup
1 cube of beef bouillon
1 clove of garlic
1 Fine Irish Stout, a lot like a popular dark Irish Beer®, but NOT that brand at their lawyers' request. They alledge this article, educating others in the legal eating habits of over 100 million people world-wide, and specifically in rising East Asian markets, is "highly offensive."
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Cover and soak cat roast in salt water for 24 hours. Drain water and then cover and soak in beer for 6 hours. Drain and place in crock pot with your cans of soup. Add a clove of garlic, and a cube of beef bouillon. If you start to slow cook your cat in the morning with your George Foreman Cooker (or it's ilk), you'll have finely cooked feline in time for supper.
If a slow cooker is not available, a cat can be baked at 350 degrees for 2-3 hours in a conventional oven and still come out pretty good. Beer Roasted Cat is fantastic served with mashed potatoes, collard greens, and fresh, homemade egg rolls. When planning a full meal just remember- cat is a course best served hot!
Cat may not be the most glamorous, or tastiest of game meats, but with a little thought and preparation, Baked Cat can make the belly of the persnicketiest diner glow with home baked goodness.
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CAT COOKIN' RESOURCES[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][SIZE=-1]
[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][SIZE=-2]NEW LINK!
[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][SIZE=-1]ROYALTY-FREE CAT EATING PHOTOS
Need some clip art to spice up your company newsletter? Animal's Voice offer up tons of Royalty-Free cat and dog eating clip art. Save some for me![/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][SIZE=-1]COOKING A (CAT) TAMALE:
Someone once cross-posted How to Cook a Cat to alt.tasteless and alt.pets.cat. The fallout from that debacle is used in all the official user documentation of how NOT to cross-post. I couldn't find a copy of said document, but this was posted on alt.ascii-art and seems to incorporate part of it. We got some fine preparation suggestions from it.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=-2]DEAD LINKS, (BUT ENTERTAINING AND TRUE COPY)[/SIZE]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][SIZE=-1]LET'S COOK OUR CAT
Remember the Twilight Zone episode where they translate the alien book, To Serve Man and find out it is a cookbook as the people of Earth take off in the Alien's spaceship? In a stunning reversal of metaphor, Let's Cook FOR Our Cat turned out not to be a simple way to prepare your feline for consumption, but a way to cook gourmet food FOR your cat. This is a silly and expensive way to fatten a cat - use cheap dried food like big meat packers do.
HOW TO SKIN A CAT:
Two High School chicks from Berkley show you how to skin a cat in preparation for dissection- or even cooking. Then they go on to pull out its insides and marvel at its genitalia in the name of "science". Pictures and videos included.
STARVING ANGOLANS EAT CATS
People eat cats and dogs in the central Angolan city of Huambo, where food supplies have all but disappeared. 300,000 people have flocked to the city, Angola's second largest, to flee fighting in the region between the government and rebel forces.
CAT FEASTS
An estimated 200 Beijing families report their cats stolen a month. Mostly, the missing kitties are sold to wholesale markets for about $3 each. To eat.
DELICIOUS TIGERS
Story of "Wildlife Parks" in China where people watch Tigers battle livestock and eat them. Then the people eat the Tigers. Remember, tigers are a big form of cat.
KOREA: THE SADISTIC COUNTRY
"Korea is to cats & dogs what Hitler was to Jews! Cat soup is the preferred way to eat cat meat !" WARNING: NOT eating cat leads to hyperbole!
The Koreans call their favorite cat dish "Goyangi-tan" - or "Liquid Cat." Fire up the blender - sounds tasty.
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[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][SIZE=-1][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][SIZE=-1]MATT PATTERSON has two dogs and a cat. One dog poops in the house, the other is missing most of its teeth. The cat throws up a lot and has partial kidney failure.
NOTE: i took the pics off of this as they might be disterbing to some people... i'm not sure if there real or not .... originaly from ... HERE
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Rap Fan Pays Fine…
Quote:
Andrew Vactor was facing a $150 fine for playing rap music too loudly on his car stereo in July. But a judge offered to reduce that to $35 if Vactor spent 20 hours listening to classical music by the likes of Bach, Beethoven and Chopin.
Vactor, 24, lasted only about 15 minutes, a probation officer said.
It wasn't the music, Vactor said, he just needed to be at practice with the rest of the Urbana University basketball team.
"I didn't have the time to deal with that," he said. "I just decided to pay the fine."
Champaign County Municipal Court Judge Susan Fornof-Lippencott says the idea was to force Vactor to listen to something he might not prefer, just as other people had no choice but to listen to his loud rap music.
"I think a lot of people don't like to be forced to listen to music," she said. She's also taped TV shows for defendants in other cases to watch on topics such as financial responsibility. As she sees it, they get the chance to have their fine reduced "and at the same time broaden their horizons.
Rap fan pays fine rather than listen to classical music - CNN.com
Poor guy
:laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at:
Urban Legend Top Trumps
I had this sent to me today from someone pretty high up in my company and not just sent to me but everyone in the company :laugh_at:
PLEASE BE AWARE & PASS ON TO OTHER PARENTS OR PEOPLE YOU KNOW WHO ARE PARENTS………….
This is a new drug known as 'strawberry quick '.
There is a very scary thing going on in the schools right now that we all need to be aware of.
There is a type of crystal meth going around that looks like strawberry pop rocks (the candy that sizzles and 'pops' in your mouth). It also smells like strawberry and it is being handed out to kids in school yards. They are calling it strawberry meth or strawberry quick.
Kids are ingesting this thinking that it is candy and being rushed off to the hospital in dire condition. It also comes in chocolate, peanut butter, cola, cherry, grape and orange.
Please instruct your children not to accept candy from strangers and even not to accept candy that looks like this from a friend (who may have been given it and believed it is candy) and to take any that they may have to a teacher, principal, etc. immediately.
Pass this email on to as many people as you can (even if they don't have kids) so that we can raise awareness and hopefully prevent any tragedies from occurring.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,271215,00.html
Your turn.
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