UK : East : Slow living in Suffolk alongside the road which leads to my work there is a disused field. It is fenced off and its fairly wild, with various shrubs between the pavement and the fence.
The only inhabitants are various creatures, the most populous being snails which on a damp day can be seen in hundreds - a few weeks ago they were all out and I have never seen so many snails in one place before).
Someone has recently fixed this sign to the fence...
UK : North : Naked driver busted. :you_crazy:you_crazy
I expect it would have been bloody freezing as well in Workington in March!
Police pull over naked motorist
A man stopped for drink driving was found to be wearing nothing behind the wheel except his shoes and socks.
Craig Cook was spotted by police in Cumbria stopping short of a junction in the early hours of 24 March.
He stalled and his car lurched forward, bumping their vehicle. Officers then discovered he was almost naked.
The 20-year-old of Trumpet Terrace, Cleator Moor, pleaded guilty to driving with excess alcohol. Magistrates banned him for 15 months and fined him £100.
Whitehaven Magistrates' Court heard that Cook was driving between Rowrah and Asby with two girls and two men following a night out in Workington when he encountered the police.
Never explained
A spokesman for the Crown Prosecution Service said: "His trousers and top were stuffed into the footwell of the car.
"The passengers in the rear of the car were not apparently aware that he was naked.
"It seems they saw him get out to relieve himself and were unaware that when he got back in the car it was without his clothes on."
Cook was taken into custody and then to hospital where his blood alcohol level was found to be over the legal limit.
It is understood he never explained why he was driving almost naked.
im Sooo Trance I know this is a old one but still funny ....:love:
-Im so Trance
-Even my pubes are dreadlocked
-My clothes are so fluro, I moon light at an Airport to help guide planes down safely
-My farts smell like Nag Champa incense
-the hairs on my arms have stopped growing because I have so many arm bands from parties
-I have every single trance album since 1995, copied, ofcourse..
-Simon Posford calls me up for track name idea's
-I use Liquid Acid for eyedrops
-I can use just my hand as a hash chillum
-My heart beats at 145 BPM
-My urine has been classed by the goverment as a controlled hallucinogenic substance
-I have shrunk from 6ft to 5ft because of all the dancing
-My ringtone is an unreleased Shpongle track recorded off a DAT tape from 1996
-i'm a nudist, vegan buddhist with no material possessions... except my Pentium 4 3.2Ghz PC with 6GB of RAM, Edirol FA-101 Firewire Audio Capture Interface and Roland DM–20 Digital Stereo Monitors for writing killaaarggh trance tracks
-I dont eat anything that casts a shadow, infact anything that has ever lived, I survive mainly on rocks and sand
-can setup my tent in 10sec flat.. unsetup in 5sec.
-don't use public transport - I astral travel
-I sweat LSD...
-I can spin fire Poi using only my tongue
-I can make a trance track using only a fork, hair curler and a jiffy bag
-Parties are cancelled when I say I wont attend
-I have a 2 chai tea stalls, 1 falafel and humous stall and 2 Chillum and bong stalls at everyparty...and I run them all by my self at the same time while dancing on the dance floor.
-My name is actually 'Trance' but you can call me Mr Trance, my friends call me Psy
-I know every major trance producer around the world...... they will deny this tho, but only because I asked them to keep it a secret.
-I have registered my house as an official after party club for Trance parties
-I see in Ultraviolet light only
-I can name any track from hearing only one beat of the kick drum
-when i hear workmen using a mechanical metal saw I say, hmm, nice acid synth lead line.
-they use me as a backdrop at parties cos Im so covered in psychedelic tattoos and uv clothes
-my legs have built in saddle bags
- Whenever I have a headache i hug a chrystal
- everytime i'm in a bad mood i blame the stars
-I label all people who bath occasionally; image conscious posers
-Everytime i say something i try to sound deep
-when people look at me i think they're undercover cops
-i think tie dye's still cool
-i hug trees for a living
-i can beatmatch a bus drone and a pneumatic jack-hammer in sync
- if i stop listenig to trance for 1 hour i start to shake with withdrawl symptoms
-even my underwear is made from hemp
- I talk to my plants and they reply
-Every year like clockwork, I moan about how "the scene just isn't the same anymore.." even though I still keep going to every party.
CN : Beijing cops bust street vendor for selling cardboard filled buns.. Aiyaa..
The BBC news footage ends with a very pissed off looking fat Chinese cop storming in to this guys kitchen - I suspect he was probably selling these to the cops on the street as well :laugh_at:
These buns are actually quite tasty when made with more appropriate ingredients..
Vendor caught stuffing cardboard in pork buns
By Alice Gu 2007-7-13
BEIJING authorities yesterday shut down a dim-sum booth that was discovered stuffing its steamed buns with cardboard in an apparent attempt to offset the rising cost of pork.
The booth's owner fled and is wanted for questioning.
The raid came after an investigative TV reporter uncovered the dodgy buns in a kitchen a few days earlier. The kitchen was used to prepare the dumplings for later sale at the streetside booth in Beijing's Chaoyang District.
A video broadcast on Wednesday night on China Central Television Station showed an undercover interview conducted with a hidden camera.
The segment opened with a shot of cardboard piled in a heap between rows of shabby houses.
The camera followed a man, whose face was not shown, into a ramshackle building where steamers were filled with many fluffy white buns, the type traditionally stuffed with minced pork.
The shirtless, shorts-clad man, believed to be the owner, apparently thought the reporter was a wholesale customer for the buns.
When the reporter asked why cardboard filler was being used, the interview subject said it was done to lower costs.
The man and a woman in the house then showed the reporter how the process worked.
Cardboard was soaked in water, and an industrial-use caustic soda, a poisonous chemical, was added. The cardboard lost its normal color, became softer and started to look more like pork.
"Can customers recognize the cardboard?" the reported asked.
The man replied, "Most of them can't, as pork fat is stirred into the concoction to make the stuffing taste more authentic."
When asked the proportion of the raw materials, the man said the mix was 60 percent cardboard to 40 percent pork fat.
About 10 minutes later, steaming servings of the buns appeared on screen. The reporter took a bite.
"This baozi filling is kind of tough. Not much taste," the reporter said. "Do you eat them?"
The man answered, "No."
"Most of my customers are residents in nearby areas," the man said. "It may save me almost 1,000 yuan (US$132) a day."
It was unclear how long the booth had been serving the cardboard-filled dumplings. The kitchen was in nearby Taiyanggong Village, far enough away that customers couldn't discover the true nature of the dumpling ingredients.
Officials with the Zuojiazhuang Industrial and Commercial Administration closed down the kitchen yesterday and began questioning its landlord, according to the Beijing Times report.
Chaoyang District's Industrial and Commercial Administration said it will inspect the district's 58 dim-sum restaurants to make sure similar shortcuts aren't being taken.
Pork prices in 36 major cities across the nation continued to rise last month due to a continuing supply shortage.
UK police,straight in the water!!! http://www.koreus.com/video/police-inondation.html
If you've been busted by OB,have a little revenge looking at this
:groucho:
ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IF YOU TRY HARD ENOUGH!!! :wink: The Story goes . . .
An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato garden,but it was very hard work.
His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation.
Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able
to plant my potato garden this year.
I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved
planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If
you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot
for me, if you weren't in prison.
Love, Dad
........
Shortly, the old man received this telegram:
"For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried
the GUNS!" At 4a.m.
The next morning,
A dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the
entire garden without finding any guns.
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him
what happened, and asked him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the
best I could do for you from here."
********
Moral Of the Story
NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART, YOU CAN DO IT!!!:weee:
Just a bit of fun what songs were in the top of the hit list the day you were born?
http://www.thisdayinmusic.com/member/birthdayno1.php
UK - Honky tonk woman - The rolling stones
US - In the year 2525 - Zager & Evans
AUS - My Sentimental Friend - Herman's Hermits12
what do your computer What do your computer do at night, if you don't turn it off ?
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jvdkuyp/flash/see.htm :laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at:
Church cock http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hereford/worcs/6249344.stm
Stonemason's cathedral surprise
A stonemason who carried out work on a cathedral tower left behind something to be remembered by.
Saul Sheldon says he made a carving of male genitals while working on the west face of Hereford Cathedral tower.
He says it is a stonemasons' tradition to do so and said that anyone looking for it would have to look carefully to find it.
He added he hoped the cathedral authorities would quite like it once they had got over the shock.
He said: "Some people might think it is not appropriate but some people might quite like it.
"I don't know what the cathedral authorities think about it but I think they will quite like it once they get over the shock."
Lottery money
Cathedral spokesman Glyn Morgan said they were not too surprised as they were aware of the craftsman's tradition of leaving little jokey reminders.
"At All Saints' Church in Hereford we have a carving of someone baring their bum to the congregation below.
"It's a long established tradition and it all serves to brighten a mood."
The cathedral has just learnt it has secured a grant of up to £4.2m from the Heritage Lottery Fund.
The money will be spent on major works to improve drainage and paths and provide a new seating and educational area.
The cathedral's tower reopened to the public in April after three years of restoration work.
:weee:
Who is god? Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, honey, God is both male and female."
This confuses the little boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?" "Well,God is both black and white."
This further confuses the boy so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?" At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers none the less, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Mom, is God Michael Jackson?"
:shy::shy::shy:
:laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at:
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