Roundabout problems! :laugh_at: :laugh_at: :laugh_at: :laugh_at: :laugh_at:
Drivers cannot leave roundabout
The signs tell drivers they cannot leave the roundabout
A council is to remove new road signs that tell drivers they cannot leave a roundabout in Coventry.
New traffic lights on the roundabout on the A444 have No Left Turn signs to stop drivers exiting onto entry roads.
But the same signs were also put up at the correct exits meaning that once drivers were on the roundabout they could only leave by breaking the law.
Coventry City Council said it was covering the signs in the short-term before their permanent removal.
A council spokesman said the signs had been installed together with traffic lights as part of a road safety scheme that is not yet complete. "The current advice on the installation of traffic signals at roundabouts does suggest that where the entry and exits are separate that No Left Turn signs are installed to advise drivers not to drive down the entry arm of the roundabout, however the advice is not always relevant. "In response to the concerns that have been raised, the city council is proposing to cover the signs in the short term and eventually remove them."
Lonely Hearts For the last eight years, people looking for love have been writing witty Lonely Hearts ads in the London Review of Books.
A new book has now been published collecting some of the most entertaining adverts.
Here are 10 of the best:
:weee: I like my women the way I like my kebab. Found by surprise after a drunken night out and covered in too much tahini. Before long I'll have discarded you on the pavement of life, but until then you're the perfect complement to a perfect evening. Man, 32, rarely produces winning metaphors.
:weee: Your buying me dinner doesn't mean I'll have sex with you. I probably will have sex with you, though. Honesty not an issue with opportunistic male, 38.
:weee: Not everyone appearing in this column is a deranged cross-dressing sociopath. Let me know if you find one and I'll strangle him with my bra. Man, 56.
:weee: Are you Kate Bush? Write to obsessive man (36). Note, people who aren't Kate Bush need not respond.
:weee: Stroganoff. Boysenberry. Frangipani. Words with their origins in people's names. If your name has produced its own entry in the OED then I'll make love to you. If it hasn't, I probably will anyway, but I'll only want you for your body. Man of too few distractions, 32.
:weee: Ploughing the loneliest furrow. Nineteen personal ads and counting. Only one reply. It was my mother telling me not to forget the bread on my way home from B&Q. Man, 51.
:weee: Mature gentleman, 62, aged well, noble grey looks, fit and active, sound mind and unfazed by the fickle demands of modern society seeks...damn it, I have to pee again.
:weee: Slut in the kitchen, chef in the bedroom. Woman with mixed priorities (37) seeks man who can toss a good salad.
:weee: Bald, short, fat and ugly male, 53, seeks short-sighted woman with tremendous sexual appetite.
:weee: Romance is dead. So is my mother. Man, 42, inherited wealth.
:laugh_at: :laugh_at: :laugh_at: :laugh_at: :laugh_at:
D’oh! A few years ago, Nortel/STC (a Canadian company which makes telecoms equipment) built a UK corporate HQ in New Southgate, North London
This building was next to an ornamental pond, with several ornamental geese.
It was a high tech building where it was possible to enter the (unstaffed) office reception by approaching the automatic doors which had infra red detectors on them (like the ones used for security lamps).
The door exits were initially controlled by pressure pads.
Now geese have enough of an infra red "signature" to get in to the building, but are not heavy enough to trigger the pressure pads...Apparently the geese were in there for 6 hours until the first person showed up. I expect the janitors were not happy...
Some wife wakes up and her husband isn’t in bed… A woman awakes during the night, and her husband isn.t in bed with her. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. 'What's the matter, dear?' she asks. 'Why are you down here at this time of night?' The husband looks up from his coffee, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?' he asks solemnly.
'Yes, I do,' she replies. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?' 'Yes, I remember,' says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues, 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said,
'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?.' 'I remember that, too,' she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, 'I would have gotten out today.'
THE most bizarre thing EVER!!!(story of Ronald Opus) Right folks this go's on a bit but its TOTALLY worth it!
Check it out.
In 1994 at the annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS. The President Dr Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with legal complications of a bizarre death.
On March 23, 1994 a medical officer examined the body of Ronald Opus. He concluded that Mr Opus had died as a result of a shotgun wound to the head.
Mr Opus had jumped from the top of a ten storey building intending to commit suicide. He had left a note to the effect indicating his despondency.
As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly.
Neither the shooter nor the the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.
Ordinarily a person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide.
The fact that Mr Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.
In the room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast eminated, was occupied by an elderly couple.
They were arguing vigorously and the husband was threatening the wife with a shotgun. The husband was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr Opus in the head, on his way down.
When one intends to kill a subject "A" but kills subject "B' by mistake one is guilty of murder of subject "B"
When confronted with the charge of murder the old man and his wife were adamant and both said that they thought the gun was unloaded.
The old man explained that it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with an un-loaded shotgun during the course of their arguments. He had no intention to murder her.
Therefore the killing of Mr Opus appeared to be an unfortunate accident; that is, if the gun had been accidently loaded.
The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the argument and fatal shooting.
It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the ponpensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his Father would shoot his Mother.
Since the loader of the gun, was aware of this, he was guilty of murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger.
The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.
Now comes the exquisit twist. Further investigations revealed that the son was in fact, Ronald Opus.
He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his Mother's murder on March 23rd 1994 he went to the the top of the ten story building and jumped off, only to be killed by a shotgun blast through the ninth story window.
The son had actually murdered himself.
taken from bore me.com
Bizarre eh? absoloultely something else!
i'm still quite shocked!
tranquility
og
UK : East : Semolina rains down on Great Yarmouth who says nothing exciting happens in East Anglia?
Semolina snowfall for Yarmouth
LYNETTE ALCOCK
26 October 2006 19:14
Two tonnes of semolina fell on Yarmouth in a freak accident.
A silo at Pasta Foods on Pasteur Road overfilled and blasted the grain into the air, covering the town in a white film of semolina flour. But that was just the start of the trouble for Great Yarmouth Borough Council.
At 9am council workers began trying to wash the semolina off the pavements, but rather than clean it away the water simply turned it into the sticky dessert.
Faced with footways “like an ice rink” the council then had to close of pedestrian access to the Haven Bridge and the roads around Hall Quay, finally bringing in industrial cleaners to get rid of the mess.
Head of environmental health for Great Yarmouth Borough Council, John Hemsworth said: “Everywhere was just white, even the grass was white.
“We had 10 to 15 people trying to clear it up, but as soon as it got wet it became more of a problem. First it got sticky, then slippy and then it was dangerous for people to walk on, so we had to close off the pavements.
“Then we had to get permission from the Environment Agency to put it in the river, then permission from Anglian Water to put it into the drains. It was all very complicated.”
Now safely cleared off Yarmouth's streets, the grain could be causing Anglian Water a headache.
Mr Hemsworth explained: “Semolina uses lots of oxygen, and sewerage works use lots of oxygen, so Anglian Water will have to carry out some special measures to make sure the treatment works don't break down when the semolina hits it, which will be around lunchtime on Friday.”
Pasta Foods technical services director David Emerson said: “It appears one of the silos overfilled and the powder burst out under pressure. The silo was shut down almost immediately by the technician on duty but unfortunately with it being so windy in the early hours of Thursday morning, the dust blew across the bridge causing the roads to be covered.”
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Darwin Awards are just the best I never fail to be amazed at how stupid people can be when they try :laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at:
http://www.darwinawards.com/
" The Tree of Life
is Self-Pruning"
go and have a look if you havent heard of these:wink:
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