Party Vibe

I have been with my fiancé for almost 10 years. We cannot get legally married because we both draw social security and we would lose money. In November of 2012 I had gastric bypass surgery and my fiancé saw it worked well for me so she got it done but got really sick and since September of 2013 she has been staying with her grandmother. We have a 2 year old son together so she wanted more help with him then I could offer due to an eye condition. She and I have had a lot of problems for years because we had difficulty having a baby and it took a major toll on our relationship. We both grew bitter and would snap easily at each other. I am bi polar and we both have bad mood swings and I would say hurtful things. 2 months before she moved in with her grandmother, my grandmother who I was very close to passed away and despite how I felt I remained alone. On December 20th 2013 my mother who I was never really close to died from psurosis of the liver from years of alcohol abuse. The 20th was also my son’s 2nd birthday. She continued to let me stay here alone. We did have a fight before my mother died where I blacked out and don’t remember anything but was told I said very hateful and sick things to her which caused her aunt the day after Christmas to talk her into changing her cell number and call me telling me my fiancé wanted nothing else to do with me and if I called out to her grandmother’s house she would get a restraining order. I since talked to my fiancé and she said I need help or else she doesn’t want to be with me. Because of the holidays today was the first time I could get in to see a therapist and when I got home and called my fiancé to tell her how it went her grandmother answered and got mad and said if I called back she would call the cops and get the restraining order against me. I am grieving very badly and the only person left I am related to is my grandfather and he is in bad shape just losing his wife of 53 years and his daughter. I live 4 hours away from my grandfather and am in the area where my fiancé’s family lives. They have all turned their backs on me. I have no one and I don’t know what to do.