Party Vibe

Yep gonna have to go with tank girl on this one! :group_hug

Unfortunatly we all have feelings we cant help and when they involve sex / the other sex they can get really complicated. I think you were more scared he would meet someone else and then blank you.

TBH you should be honest with him, telling him is going to hurt now. but the longer you leave it the worse its going to be.

You shouldnt stay with some one to see if it works you, you should be with them as you want them and love them.

Well i wish you the best of luck with what ever happens….. :bounce_fl :bounce_fl

Hmmm – you asked for advice….

Ok well I am going to go ahead and say some stuff you may not like much so read it through, think about it for at least a day and then reply 😉
As far as I can tell the situation is this:

You were 14 when you got together with the first boyfriend/fiance and you were with him for 5 years….

You went from that relationship into the arms of boyfriend number 2 [even if you didnt sleep with him…] and got emotionally intense with him until you both decided to call it a day and seek pastures new.

He went out and found someone he connected with and suddenly you were torn up with jealousy. You persuade him to dump the other girl and get it together with you.

And now you have seen a gorgeous man who you clicked with and cant stop thinking about while seeing this man at the same time.

Ok, now STOP and think this through for a minute before you make any more complications for your life.

I am suspicious here that your problem is not having worked through the break-up of the first relationship properly. And then become emotionally involved in another one.

You need to stop and take stock of who you are and what you actually want in life.

Are you sure you are ‘in love’ and not ‘in lust’ with the ‘beautiful’ man? Sounds awfully like a dose of lust to me. With a side helping of the grass is always greener on the other side.

The difference between lust and love is that the love will still be there when the lust has gone.

What makes a good relationship is commitment and compromise and a lot of hard work – the being in love feeling usually wears off [for some people it is never there in the first place] and you are left with a working partnership of people who (hopefully) want the best for each other. In an ideal world they would be a perfect match and have no faults but reality is not like this. In the real world the other half has little habits which drive you crazy [squeezing the toothpaste tube wrong :get_you:, moving the _____ from where it should be :annoyed:, forgetting important dates, take your pick….]

Before you go and throw everything away for a might be who makes your heart pound faster make sure you really want this.

:noway: I doubt boyfriend 2 will go round this a third time :noway: (you are lucky he did a second round to be honest – my policy is to never go back to a failed relationship no matter how much I loved the person or how much they grovel; this policy has caused me short term pain but long term gain)

A few questions you need to answer along the way:
1 – do you define yourself as half of a realtionship? or as an individual?
2 – what are you going to do with your life?
3 – are you scared of being single?
4 – are you more concerned with what you want than hurting the other person?
5 – do you resent the fact you have always been in relationships [and not young free and single?]
6 – what significant things have you done on your own?
7 – do you have any interests outside the relationship [going out drinking and clubbing dont count in my book – I am talking about hobbies, charity work, activities with people other than your partner]

I am suspicious that, having been in a relationship since you were 14 for 5 years and then in and out of relationship number 2, you may be immature in some ways because of the lack of experience with the dating thing and seeing different people. Long standing relationships can be like old jumpers – very comfortable and worn in with no itchy bits. The itchy bits are what make you grow up in my opinion – no itchy scratchy bits – no need to work out what causes them – no personal development required.

And as a final thought – when you have thought all this through [nice and slowly mind :wink:] a relationship with no honesty in it is a worthless sham in my opinion.

Yea look.. honestly.. you needa tell your current man the truth.. cause its unfair to both of you if you dont. I mean you cant live in a lie relationship.
He will be broken hearted, but would be worse off if he found out a different way or something.

I suggest just sit down and seriously talk to him, dont make up anything just be trully honest, Later on when he’s calmed down and thought alot, He will thankyou for being honest. The only thing is.. It’s going to be a very tough job, delivering some bad news like that to a man who loves you to death, So pull your shoulders back stand up tall and do it, dont back out.

But thats just my views on it. Goodluck though sweety!