Party Vibe

you’re not the only one, I have also over the years suffered from depression and to a great extent still do.

In fact I “retired” from partying a year ago (having been a DJ for 12 years and involved in sound systems for 6) – I eventually found the stress of sorting out parties and the come-downs afterwards outweighed the good times – my involvement in the scene was making things worse rather than better.

cliffchuff is spot on about how you cannot really escape these feelings by drugs – the problems will always come back to you in the end on top of the comedown.

recently I have also been really down, a crew I was involved with folded with everyone falling out with one another, groups of friends on the scene have been ripping each other off, and I’ve seen countless “collective projects” in my area fold as well because not everyone puts in their effort and it all goes pear shaped.

I am also the sort of guy who is really worried about the state of the party scene and the world in general, I can’t let go and enjoy myself when I think something is wrong is happening at a party where people aren’t respecting the vibe, the crews or each other (this had been happening recentlly in my area)

I even destroyed all my archive material of parties – photos, videos, articles I had written, artwork I had produced, the whole fucking lot as when I was looking at it made me feel worse – I would look at it and think “x doesn’t speak to y any more” – “that couple broke up a few months ago” – “that girl in the photo is now into heroin and is fucked up now” – “that bloke next to her overdosed”. etc. It was more like looking at war photos (from the POV of a battle-scarred soldier) than something fun 🙁

Although this scene can be fun at times it also can be very hard on your mind and body. Some of my friends didn’t know when to stop and now they are casualties of battle in various forms. Look after yourself and know when to retreat if required – there’s no shame in it.

I may not be very active on the party scene now but I still listen to the music sometimes and still take an interest in whats going on, and I have managed to keep my sanity and body intact so that is a good thing!

As for endorphins etc – its worth knowing you can release these by exercise rather than self-harm.

Get a bicycle! this may seem strange and hippyish but in 2001 these homeless guys who I helped wire up their electric power in their squat built me a bicycle, since then I have ridden one everywhere.

I found that you can get rid of your depression by riding a bike as this has the same effect of releasing endorphins. it is far healthier and safer than self-harm (unless you fall off or get in a collision, so if you do get one and haven’t ridden for a while take it slow at first!)

Plus you get to explore countryside away from the hectic city or even an outdoor party site where you are also worrying about the rig (if you are in a crew) or whether the police will bust the site

{remember though that endorphins cause a comedown as well. there is info on the net and in libraries in the sports sections on how to recover from exercise – perhaps this may even be useful for ravers!}

I should perhaps point out I’m fairly old (30+) and have done a fair bit of partying in my time so perhaps I’m a bit more jaded with regard to the “blind hedonism” bit of the scene, (you seem like you have just started getting involved) but I have a fair bit of experience with regard to the deeper issues – and I’ve seen my friends get dragged down and don’t want to see any more casualties

At the end of the day its up to you what you do – and my (rather extreme) methods may not be the best for you – but please keep everything in perspective. There is a way out from depression, even if it involves lifestyle changes or even taking a rest from partying for a bit until things are better.

GL / Reading-UK