My mind is feeling completely torn on this one; any advice would be greatly received.
So after an arduous struggle with my mental health, my partner of over 4 years has left me. She put our relationship on hold a couple months back just before I went into hospital for treatment. When I was discharged, 19th December, we met up a couple of days later, after she hadn’t come to visit me during my hospital stay. We’ve seen each other several times since, probably averaging twice a week, and things seemed to be on the mend. We’d even spent a few nights with each other, no sex, just cuddles, but I was happy with this for now. She’s told me she wanted to take things slowly, which I had no argument with, we’d both caused pain so this seemed to make sense.
She’d moved out nearly 3 months ago, yet insisted on leaving a few items, such as dressing gown, for times she was staying over. Plus my garage is still packed with a load of her hoarded items. We appeared to be patching things up, and I was trying not to push her too quickly back into a committed relationship. All the signs were looking positive, and we both admit we still love each other.
But then on Saturday night she broke things off, announcing that she did not consider us a couple any longer. I’m absolutely devastated, heartbroken is an understatement. I wouldn’t have minded as much if she’d ended it when I went into hospital or immediately after discharge, because I wasn’t expecting us to continue an intimate relationship. But I feel as if I’ve been led on these last 3 weeks or so. Perhaps she was looking to see if I was strong enough to deal with it, but if that was her intent (that’s if there is any intent behind it), I just feel betrayed; like she’s got my hopes up and knocked me down again as I was still trying to shake off the final remnants of my depression.
I feel myself sinking once more into a cycle of depression and drug dependence. I fear I won’t survive this time if I sink as low as I did last time.
Anyone, how do you get over your feelings for a loved one who no longer wants that love? I think my emotions for her are far too deep and complex for a simple friendship to remain either.
Surely some of you older folk with greater relationship experience can help me out with that one.
