Hi. I’m 27 years old and i never had sex. Its not because of my bad look, but because of my low selfconfidence since high school. Years were flying by and here we are – 27. You will probably say go out and find somebody, but the problem are those thoughts (facts) that are taking all my will to live away.
I can’t deal with the facts that i lost 12 years of my live and havent experienced nothing. Not going out into the club with friends in young years and party, no kissing, no sex, no one night stands, relationship.
All things that for most people are normal. Because of that i dont feel competitive to girls that i like and i feel they all are much better then me, on higher level and i’m not good enough for them and all of the people, because i havent alived so much then others, was almost all the time at home and work.
Also this inequality is showing in communication. You simply have nothing to talk about. I also have no friends, so cant go out. And since i don’t have nothing to talk about, i cant meet new people (nothing to talk about even on internet).
Its terrible if i go into the shopping center and see in 2 hours hundreds of women with which i would like to have sex and i know i don’t have such interesting past as them. Those thoughts are eating me up every single day, all day. I was also at therapist, but didnt help. Also i take antidepressants which have taken at least the panic attacs and crying away, because o those thoughts about sex.
But nothing cant take away the facts, that i’m not on same level as those girls who are having sex since highschool, were on so many parties and so on. For them its normal to have a penis in their hands or mouth, for me this is science fiction and somebody who is 12 years behind in my opinion can never again be same worth as person who alived all those things in normal years (18-24).
Sex is the highest thing in live and if you dont have it you havent lived. Therefor i dont know what to do, because there is no way out to feel the same worth as those people anymore, that have normal sex live since their high school. To be honest, the best would be this life would be over and i could sleep forever, to not have this fact thoughts every day…
The problem is, whatever i would do, nothing can change the facts that i will be then a 22 year old boy who had the same amount sex as average boy in this age? Would an experienced men who had a lot of sex and different women want to trade his situation with me? No! This means i am worth nothing and i cant be on his level anymore.
