Party Vibe

@Angel 564673 wrote:

And welcome Ashley 🙂

Thank you so much!!! 🙂

@The Psyentist 564725 wrote:

Seems like a pretty simple situation to me. This Steve seems to really like you, when you rejected his initial attempts to get closer to you you hurt him. Now he’s trying to gain your attention and make you feel jealous by pretending he’s interested in someone else; just as he feels envious when you spend time with members of the opposite sex.

I think he’s serious about you, although that doesn’t necessarily mean you would work as couple. But it does minimise the chances of him deliberately hurting you by being unfaithful or anything along those lines.

Right! I see what you mean! One time when he was drunk he kept mocking and going on about this guy I went out with ONE time. He knew him, but he still he was talking about him in a negative way. He said “Just pretend I’m Tyler” and “Hey I’m Tyler I’m short but I served in the military, I’m cool and got a nice car” and so much more of that mocking! Then later on in the night he said to me “Did you and Tyler have sex?” I said “Did Tyler say that?” He said “Yeah” I said “NO, he’s a fucking liar!” He then said “No he actually didn’t say that, I just said that cause I wanted to know if you guys had sex. Good! Cause I’m thinking back off Tyler, she’s MY girl!” I said “Ha! I am nobody’s girl!” He was just silent. But I just chalked it up to maybe he was just really drunk? I didn’t really pay attention to it. I also was weary considering when he said that was around the time I think he had a girlfriend, even though he denied it to me, he seemed like he was in a relationship with a girl at that time too! But yeah he gets jealous about guys in general. He either will cut me off, or he’ll look at me with a mad face haha or be silent. I guess I never took him seriously, cause it seemed like he was with these particular women at the time. Thank you for commenting! 🙂

@The Psyentist 564775 wrote:

Hmm, obviously I don’t know Steve, nor can I predict the future; but I can speculate. All this mocking of other (rival) males, and general apparent discomfort of your time spent around these said males does indicate one trait that probably runs quite strongly through Steve. I’m guessing that if you do give him a chance, he’ll be extremely possessive.

Insecurity of one’s own self is the biggest reason for possessive behaviour. Sounds like he may want you but does not feel he deserves you; he may think you’re out of his league. Whatever the cause for this behaviour it is important you lay down the rules early on. You let them know that they do not own or control you, you are with them because you want to be, not because they said so. But also reassure them that during the times you are not with them, it does not mean you do not wish to be so. You tell them that you have friends who are male that you will continue to see during your relationship, they cannot prevent this.

A quick point from Steve’s perspective. Only consider giving this guy a chance if you are serious too, as that’s what he seems to be. From what you’ve told me I can’t see him getting bored 6 months down the line, but what about yourself? If you think he can entertain you then why not give him a go. But if you feel it would only be short term, I would advise not walking that path. I think he would get attached too quickly and find a split very difficult to deal with, especially early on. Btw, I’m not asking you if you think this would be a lifetime thing, no-one can predict those things.

My personal opinion- I think he deserves a chance, if you genuinely have that interest yourself. But only give him the chance if you really want to try and make something of the situation. Don’t get with him out of pity or anything like that, as that will cause a lot of harm should he discover this. I think he could possibly prove to be quite difficult to handle, he may ‘smother’ you in an attempt to block out other males that may whisk you away from him. If you decide at all to get with him, take things slow.

Wow! Very informative and I think you are spot on! I do agree with you! I am serious about him but what makes me weary is that he seems to have girlfriends, and that makes me back away. It was weird cause I haven’t heard from him in months and he messages my mom on Facebook saying he had the day off and was wondering if my dad could use him on a job. My dad made me drive to look at these construction jobs with him, and Steve called my dad’s phone my dad and him were talking about work but then my dad said “Can I call you back Steve? Ashley’s driving, and I need to tell her where to go.” Then my dad calls back Steve an hour later and my dad is talking about work, and then Steve says “Yeah I sent Ryan (my brother) a pics of this girl I am going out with, she’s hot!” I noticed though he said that on the second call and mentioned this girl on the second call when he knew my dad was with me. Also him and my brother aren’t close. He actually stuck up for me when my brother was being vindictive and he called up my brother drunk and said “Why would you do that to your sister? Why? You and your girlfriend are pieces of shits, you don’t understand man. I love your sister!” Lol, I didn’t even know he did that until my dad said it to me and my brother. But Steve himself never told me he did that. So that to me is bizarre that he texts my brother and they had a little text convo about her, he sends my bro pics of her and then he says how beautiful she is, and how much of a good girl she is etc. But then that was it, he didn’t contact my brother after that, so I don’t know if it was a way to make me jealous? Or if he is just really infatuated with this girl. It would make more sense to text my brother that if he were actually friends with him, they just worked together with my dad and things like that. He seemed to not like my brother at all.

Then a couple of days later my mom puts up a pic of me on Facebook, and Steve is on my mom’s friend list so he can see it. He calls up my mom the next day and says “Why did you put up a pic of your daughter? She got 60 likes! And they are all by men! Now she’s going to have creepy guys hit her up now!” My mom said “It’s a normal picture! I can put up pics of my daughter if I want to! And it wasn’t by all men! It was more women that liked her pic than men! Anyways they are old men with daughters her age, lighten up!” I’m thinking why do you care if you have a girlfriend? And why would he get jealous that older men liked my pic? It’s my mom’s friends so it’s not like it’s young men that liked it lol. It’s just weird to me cause if he is so infatuated with this girl and thinks she’s a “keeper” then why would he care who liked my picture and what not? I can’t tell if he’s a player or if he is serious about me but he is just getting these other women to “fill the void”? But it’s a situation where he would rather be with me? I am not saying that in a conceited way honestly, cause he very well could be playing me! Sorry for the long reply, just giving more details. Thank you so much for commenting and sharing your insight on the situation! Much appreciated! 🙂

@The Psyentist 564787 wrote:

Thank you, and you’re welcome. I like to think I’m a people person, I have a bit of a gift I suppose when it comes to reading other people and their problems. Can’t figure out my own shit but good at helping others lol. Long answers are fine, keeps the conversation flowing easier I think.

Unfortunately I have no way of answering that for you. However I can postulate again. It seems you have a similar social circle. Now bearing that in mind, do you personally know any of these girlfriends he claims to have had? It would seem unlikely that he could be going out with so many people and keep their identity a secret from you if you know so many of the same people. Obviously it is possible that you’re being played, but that just isn’t how I read this situation, if this is the case then he’s played us both. He seems to lack the confidence of a player, I doubt he’d display such neediness and attention seeking behaviour if he was. Again I don’t know him, so you need to make the better judgement call if you believe otherwise.

Yeah, you’re awesome! 🙂 That’s cool that you can really help people! 🙂 Kudos to you my friend. No, I don’t personally know these women. It’s just word of mouth that I hear he is dating this girl or that girl. You do make a good point about the player thing. Cause as much as he’s extroverted he is shy I can see that shyness, no matter how extroverted he is. I see him post pics with some of these women and I just assume they are boyfriend and girlfriend, cause of how the way they talk to each other and such and even on Facebook he said “She’s a keeper” about his new girl, but yet he tried to have sex with me like what I posted originally. So if she’s a “keeper” then why is he trying to get with me? Lol. He is so confusing and honestly I think we both give each other mixed signals, and I think we both are just screwed up. I just don’t want to be another number to him. In the same breath it’s hard for me to let go cause I have strong feelings for him. Cause I was in a bad depression and he lifted it with his funny, outgoing personality. He went through a bunch of crap and I helped him out a lot. His family even treated him like crap but I stood by his side. He really opened up to me about his childhood and his breakup and I helped him through that. It’s very hard to tell, and I am honestly very conflicted. Lol. I have no idea how to approach this, but thank you again for replying and taking the time! I appreciate your insight! 🙂