Ok people bare with me, this may get a bit long, but I appreciate any and all comments so long as they’re not full of shit. 🙂
Four and a half months ago I started seeing a girl I was crazy about. Eventually she became my girlfriend and things were going great. Having a girlfriend, for me, shows how much I liked her cause she was only the 3rd gf I’ve ever had (I’m 24 btw). I’ll only settle down if a girl’s worth it, and this one definitely was. Anyway, the relationship ended only 10 days after we officially became a couple and in all I knew her for about a month, a month and a half, around..so it wasn’t anything really long.
To be honest with you, in the last week prior to the break-up I felt something was wrong, something was bothering her..but i just didnt know what. After going to new york with her classmates and reflecting upon what she wanted, she told me she wasn’t ready for a relationship just yet. She felt she was still so young, wanted to explore, have fun, bla bla bla…I was so sad that I didn’t even bother really contemplating whether or not her reasons made any sense at all, which they didn’t. Once it sunk it I knew she wasn’t telling me the truth, so 2 months after the break up I asked her to be up front with me and tell me the truth. She said the reason why she broke up with me was because she still had feelings for her ex..and he was in the back of her mind. She told me she wouldve been miserable had she stayed with me (b/c of that guy) and felt I didn’t deserve that, so she ended it.
About a 1.5 months ago she ended all contact with that ex she still had feelings for. No msn, no phone..nothing. She wanted to completely cut him out of her life..and that was a bold move on her part cause she’s not the type to cut ppl out of her life.
Now, she’s seeing someone else. To tell you the truth, i’m not jealous at all..i kinda want her to see other guys and realize that they just don’t measure up to me. I’m sorry if i sound cocky, but I just know I can out-class and out-measure most of the guys out there. Anyways, I’ve been on so many dates since our break up I can’t even count..but every time i was with another girl I just thought to myself how it just wasnt the same, i didnt feel the same way as i felt for that girl. We only saw each other for a month or so but I just KNOW that there’s something special there, and it troubles me that we didnt even give it a shot, that we didnt even give it a chance to see what was meant to be.
Now, you may say that she just doesnt dig you, but I KNOW for a fact she did, she was so happy..i could see it in her face, and she told me herself..this asshole ex of hers got in the way unfortunately. By the way, since we’ve been broken up I’ve also learned (dont ask me how) that she wouldnt wanna marry anyone other than someone from her religion (christianity). I’m not christian, dont know if that affected things.
I’ve never felt this way about a girl EVER..my friends all told me the same thing, that they never saw me happier..and it’s so deflating that it’s come to this.
What i wanna know from you guys is, should I just give up on this? Is it a losing battle in pursuing her?
When we broke up I gave her her space that she asked for. I wasn’t one of those psycho ex-bf’s that constantly called her and begged her to come back..im not that type of guy. I wasnt possessive at all. I would love nothing more than to just pick up where we left off..but if her heart isnt in it then I want no part of it.
In the meanwhile I’ll be looking to date whatever girl interests me, but she’s at the top of my list, and I don’t see her moving from that #1 spot any time soon.
Is there any point in hoping for something to happen between us, or should I just move on for good?
If we end up back together, and things dont work out in the end, then I can leave with my head held high and leave no regrets, knowing that we gave it a shot and that it just didnt work out. But not knowing what could have been just bothers me, especially since I know that there’s so much potential.
