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proud to be british…?

Forums Life Jokes & Humour proud to be british…?

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  • Location: In The Shadow Of Leaves
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    Current Mood: Happy.gif
    icon1.gif proud to be british??
    DOubt all the facts at the end are true….and appologies if this has been posted b4 but……found it VERY funny just now when i was clearing out my emails inbox….

    ………………………………………….. ………………………………………….. ……….


    Proud to be British ??

    One of the British national daily newspapers is asking readers “what it
    means to be British?” Some of the emails are hilarious but this is one
    from
    a chap in Switzerland…

    Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
    Belgian
    beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab
    on
    the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American TV shows on a
    Japanese TV.
    And the most British thing of all?
    Suspicion of anything foreign.

    Oh and!!!!!
    Only in Britain… can a pizza get to your house faster than an
    ambulance.

    Only in Britain… do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
    the
    back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
    buy

    cigarettes at the front.

    Only in Britain… do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries,
    and a
    DIET coke.

    Only in Britain… do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
    the
    counters.

    Only in Britain… do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
    drive
    and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

    Only in Britain… do we use answering machines to screen calls and
    then

    have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want
    to

    talk to in the first place.

    Only in Britain… are there disabled parking places in front of a
    skating
    rink.

    NOT TO MENTION…
    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new
    shirts.
    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
    screwdrivers.
    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while
    the

    fairy lights were plugged in.
    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
    decorations
    were chocolate.
    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker
    pulling

    accidents.
    101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out
    of
    the soles of their feet.
    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
    cigarette in their mouth.
    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
    opening
    bottles of beer with their teeth.
    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control
    Scalextric cars.
    and finally………
    In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
    toilet.

    Proud to be British???

    copied from other site …

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Forums Life Jokes & Humour proud to be british…?