@itsTori 562137 wrote:
I don’t know why she would even yell at me for bringing it up if I did. I’m asking for help because some part of me doesn’t want to die from my ed (just that:hopeless:).
Most likely frustration at herself. Parents don’t tend to deal well with the concept of having failed as a guardian, they want to believe they have flawlessly bred and brought you into this world. When things go tits up, regardless of who if anyone is at fault, they will often become over defensive and blame others, or the polar opposite and try to massively over compensate for the years of neglect/abuse.
During my last phase of severe depression I felt it was time to tell my mum about the depth of some of my problems. I’ve never hid my illness from her but at the same time I felt it was futile confiding in her some things, a mum doesn’t need to know her eldest son nearly killed her when he was just 15. I did however express my beliefs in what had created this side of me (mostly my lack of a suitable father figure) and that I experience frequent violent fantasies.
At first she tried blaming drugs, until I pointed out I only started smoking pot at 18, three years after my first psychotic episode. Then slowly she came round but took it too far and blamed herself. She started convincing herself she had failed as a mother. I had to directly tell her this is not how I felt, granted I never formed the proper bond you’d expect between child and mother; I never consciously got angry or felt let down by her.
P.s. We certainly don’t want you to die either
x
@The Psyentist 562140 wrote:
Most likely frustration at herself. Parents don’t tend to deal well with the concept of having failed as a guardian, they want to believe they have flawlessly bred and brought you into this world. When things go tits up, regardless of who if anyone is at fault, they will often become over defensive and blame others, or the polar opposite and try to massively over compensate for the years of neglect/abuse.
During my last phase of severe depression I felt it was time to tell my mum about the depth of some of my problems. I’ve never hid my illness from her but at the same time I felt it was futile confiding in her some things, a mum doesn’t need to know her eldest son nearly killed her when he was just 15. I did however express my beliefs in what had created this side of me (mostly my lack of a suitable father figure) and that I experience frequent violent fantasies.
At first she tried blaming drugs, until I pointed out I only started smoking pot at 18, three years after my first psychotic episode. Then slowly she came round but took it too far and blamed herself. She started convincing herself she had failed as a mother. I had to directly tell her this is not how I felt, granted I never formed the proper bond you’d expect between child and mother; I never consciously got angry or felt let down by her.
P.s. We certainly don’t want you to die either
x
🙁
@itsTori 562141 wrote:
🙁
If you ever want to talk about anything you know you can always message me; on here or Facebook. Or even if you want to bitch and scream and just generally vent your angers at me I don’t mind. Better than you bottling it up inside darling.
x
@The Psyentist 562142 wrote:
If you ever want to talk about anything you know you can always message me; on here or Facebook. Or even if you want to bitch and scream and just generally vent your angers at me I don’t mind. Better than you bottling it up inside darling.
x
I know. I’m sorry :cry::sad:
hey tori, didn’t know you were posting. im less on these forums now since forum split n this n that. glad you’re giving the climb a go…
so anyhow… i would still say that, you’ll make more positive goals and outcomes if you look to add good things to your life. your goal has been your desired weight, but your method is to have life sapping behaviour – not eating. really the most positive if you want to look good is exercise… and then also you can eat freer
so much in the mind is just chemical balance/imbalance… if you exercise you’ll be much more stable… you just gota want it. and it takes effort…. but its fun and rewarding too
g luck x 🙂
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