Virginity questions

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December 5, 2014 at 6:03 am

#683278
1

bobisworried

@bobisworried

Member
Hello to everyone. I need a little honest and sound advise.
A little bit about me.
I am 46, and yep a virgin. I have had limited sexual experience. I have had 5 opportunities to lose my virginity but could not. I was very nervous.
I grew up very overweight, with extreme abusive parents, negative religious views, crippling views of women and as a result, very shy.
I have lost a lot of weight and almost normal looking. I am male and average looking. I have come a long way in the last year.
I can ask girls on dates and that is fairly easy. I am terrified of sex. I have tons of hang ups. Virginity the main one, it is a huge source of shame and a huge cross. I feel condemned by this fact.
My question is this. Is it too late for me to find a girl friend who I being a virgin will not care about that?
And if so, how do I bring that up in conversation? I can not tell you how distressing this is to me.
Please be helpful without smart ass remarks and please don’t say things like ohh you will find her one day, remember I’m 46 and that one day is coming very close to being over. So please be real and honest.
Thank you to all that would answer.
December 5, 2014 at 6:06 am

#834477
1

tryptameanie

@tryptameanie

Participant
That must be tough, seriously.

Theor’s someone out there for everyone bud, no matter how old you are. If you meet someone you love and who loves you, it probably won’t be as difficult as you’d expect.
December 5, 2014 at 6:11 am

#834481
1

bobisworried

@bobisworried

Member
Thanks for replying.
Yep it is tough. I kinda feel like a freak. Aside of having been very shy and lied to about women yea lol it is a horrible feeling let me tell you.
So any ideas on how to deal with it?
December 5, 2014 at 6:13 am

#834482
1

bobisworried

@bobisworried

Member
I can’t tell you how frustrating it is.
December 5, 2014 at 6:29 am

#834486
6

Angel

@angel

Moderator
Staff
If you find someone you really love and she loves you, and you’re 100% honest about your past, she might help you overcome your fear.

But try and stop the “im a virgin” thoughts from your head.

your not 16 but there’s nothing cool in loosing your virginity when your at your a teen anyway, nothing cool in having had 20 partners when you’r 40+ either.

Try looking for someone who love you, instead of one having sex with.

You could also go see a prostitute, they are used to guys in your situation.
Finding someone you love compared going to a prostitute is preferred, but sexual frustration is not good for you either.

I’m not trying to take the piss on you and im not trying to glorify prostitution, it could just be an option.
December 5, 2014 at 6:34 am

#834478
1

tryptameanie

@tryptameanie

Participant
Yes it’s frustrating and your either lying or seriously tripping abiout the situation. I dunno WTF to suggest bud. I’ve been up all night, everythings a bit weird and I probably should not have replied but seen as I’m here I’ll tell you what I do now I’m single again, I’m not saying I’, an XX year old virgin here, is simple.

After 20 mins I have no other advice than psychedelics are a cheaper, more easier to keep, quieter more visually exciting (not always more beautiful though) andn guaranteed to not care if you see other chems. The money you save from being parasite/wife free can go on a cleaner and hookers.

Your question might be better asked somewhere where 50% of the forum are drug enthusiasts. What a deviation that is from what I intended.

Sorry bud.
December 5, 2014 at 12:02 pm

#834479
1

shane24

@shane24

Member
Don’t worry about it, mate.

We all have the special one for us. We just need to find them, who will accept us for who we are. Just hang in there, buddy.
December 6, 2014 at 3:52 am

#834483
1

bobisworried

@bobisworried

Member
Thank you all for replying. Good advise and thanks Tryptameanie for coming back with suggestions. Also Angel thanks, maybe a hooker is the best way. I dunno.
Yea tripping about it doesn’t do any good. Thank you.
Its nice to be able to talk about it. Maybe Im not such a freak.
December 6, 2014 at 9:45 am

#834480
1

methyldreams

@methyldreams

Member
I never lost mine until 22 technically anyway
December 6, 2014 at 1:18 pm

#834475
1

Cuddlefart

@cuddlefart

Member
I lost mine very young and sometimes I think it would have been better if I waited. Being nervous is totally understandable and I know you’ll meet someone who understands that. 🙂
December 7, 2014 at 3:52 am

#834484
1

bobisworried

@bobisworried

Member
LOL cuddlefart. Funny ID
Yea I have heard people say that before. Got to be honest, that’s falling on deaf ears for me lol.
See to be honest it isnt being nervous actually doing it, its nervous about what she will think, ‘man this guy is some kinda freak, why is he still a virgin’ that is my fear and also I’m not sure that there is any girl who would understand that and not look down on me. I have this contradiction in my head going, somehow from my upbringing I have this crazy belief that women dont like sex and that women dont like guys who want sex, yet they dont like guys who havent had sex. Its kinda like damnded if you do damned if you dont. I dunno what todo about that.
December 7, 2014 at 3:59 am

#834474
1

Digital Buddha

@digital-buddha

Participant
i just played coy and lost my virginity like the girl had no idea about my sexual history (at least thats how it was in my head), while that was probably easier at 19 than it would be at 46 i don’t see why you need to divulge the info that you are in fact a virgin.
December 7, 2014 at 7:02 am

#834476
1

Cuddlefart

@cuddlefart

Member
I love sex but I guess there is, like, a stupid social taboo for women to openly enjoy having sex. Honestly, I wish people in general didn’t have worry about virginity and could just have sex with people they like. :p
December 28, 2014 at 4:23 am

#834485
1

bobisworried

@bobisworried

Member
Thanks again you guys for replying. Honestly I’m not just looking for sex. I’m not completely without some sexual expereince, but I would like to find someone to love and who loves me. I’m just wondering realisticaly if thats possible given my lack of real sexual expereince and relationship expereince at this age.
January 19, 2016 at 9:49 am

#834487
1

escort

@escort

Member
I love sex but I guess there is, like, a stupid social taboo for women to openly enjoy having sex.
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