Husbonds and wifes :laugh_at: :laugh_at: :laugh_at:
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
The doctor said, "Your husband is suffering from a very serious, disease, combined with horrible stress.
If you don't do something your husband will surely die.
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast.
Be pleasant, and make he is in a good mood.
For lunch make him a nutritious meal.
Dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him.
Don't burden him chores, as he probably have had a hard day.
Don't discuss your problems him, it will only make his stress worse.
And, most importantly, make love to your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim."
"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.
:laugh_at: :laugh_at: :laugh_at:
Alternative treatments for ITP As some of you already know i suffer from a very rare blood disorder called ITP (idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura, immune thrombocytopenic purpura).
It is essentially a platelet disorder it is classified as an autoimmune disease. In an autoimmune disease the body mounts an attack toward one or more otherwise normal organ systems. In ITP, platelets are the target. They are marked as foreign by the immune system and eliminated in the spleen, or sometimes the liver.
Platelets (thrombocytes) are blood cells, just like red cells and white cells, and they are responsible for blood clotting. If there are not enough platelets, cuts and bruises bleed longer and don't heal as well as they should. Platelets are also involved in storing serotonin, a brain neurotransmitter that is responsible for sleep/wake cycles, appetite and mood regulation. Thus, a decrease in platelet count may affect these functions.
This means that i bruise easily, my blood doesn't clot well, i'm more
susceptible to infection as well and it takes me longer to get over any bugs and i'm tired all the time....just for starters i won't go on.
I've been doing a lot of research into my condition and also alternative treatments as there is no cure for it.. So imagine my surprise when i came across this... http://www.mediprimer.com/Hematology/itp/5.html
Check out the bottom alternative treatment.... :groucho::groucho::groucho:
However please remember that partyvibe does not advocate the taking of illegal substances
Where is the snow Found this article..
(Drought in europe all summer) :cry:
(Tornado in london) :you_crazy
And now,no snow :hopeless:
What's going on ?
Quote:
Unseasonably warm conditions across Europe are being greeted with a mixture of disbelief and despair by those who normally rely on cold winters. James Cove and James Rodgers assess the winter weather.
JAMES COVE REPORTS FROM THE ALPS
The French Alps are uncharacteristically lacking in snow
Ski resorts across the European Alps are becoming increasingly worried as current bad snow conditions threaten the all important Christmas holiday period.
This autumn has been one of the worst on record with high temperatures and little snowfall.
Many resorts have had to postpone their openings and the main ski races have been cancelled because of a lack of snow.
With millions of skiers heading to the resorts over the next week there are concerns that the open runs will be very busy and people could be put off from booking again at Christmas and the New Year, costing the multi-million pound industry heavily in lost revenue, and threatening jobs.
Climate change
Many believe global warming is to blame for the lack of snow.
The Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development warned that many low-level resorts could soon be unviable and predicted warmer temperatures in the future.
Ski operations around Europe have been using snow cannons
Already banks are refusing to offer loans to resorts under 1,500 metres as they fear for their future snow cover.
Germany is threatened the most, followed by some Austrian and Italian resorts.
However, the picture is not as bleak as some say, with the high resorts having good conditions on some runs.
I am in the Swiss resort of Verbier and the open runs have good snow and more are set to open this weekend helped by artificial snow.
"We have many new snow-making cannons across our slopes and this has helped greatly," Pierre-Yves Deleze told the BBC. "Some snow is forecast to fall next week and then everything should be OK. If not though, it will make us more nervous for Christmas."
Saw in the news the other night,that because of the warm winter,the rats can give birth 5 times instead of 4 times as they usually do :yakk: :yakk:
Free beer Come and enjoy the craic this Christmas at O'Neills with a FREE pint of GUINNESS® *. :groucho::groucho::groucho:
Cheers xmas_badgerxmas_badger
http://www.tinsfortat.co.uk/o-neills-voucher.html
UK : East : Paranoid pillhead jailed for attacking paramedics FFS...
I think he definitely deserved to go to jail; and also should have been made to do unpaid work as hospital cleaner or maintenance... (then again its probably risky as he might try and sabotage something)
He made himself ill through bingeing - it also pisses me off when people do this, get a bit twisted and angry on pills and then kick off at people trying to help them out..
This sort of behaviour hardens the attitudes of the NHS emergency staff to all drug users and affects people who genuinely need their help....
http://www.eveningstar.co.uk/content/eveningstar/news/story.aspx?brand=ESTOnline&category=News&tBrand=ESTOnline&tCategory=news&itemid=IPED18%20Dec%202006%2009%3A35%3A02%3A960
A VIOLENT drug user is today behind bars after attacking a hospital paramedic who was trying to help him.
Steven Boyd, of Defoe Road, Ipswich, had taken five ecstasy pills and drunk brandy, vodka and beer before calling an ambulance on November 20.
He arrived at the accident and emergency department of Ipswich Hospital where he became aggressive and violent towards staff.
Appearing for sentencing at South East Suffolk Magistrates' Court on Friday Boyd pleaded guilty to assault and a further charge of using threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour at an earlier hearing.
Prosecuting solicitor Lesla Small told the court Boyd assaulted the paramedic who had been called to help him.
She said he spat at hospital staff and had to be restrained.
She added: “In his statement the victim said 'He was shouting and swearing using every imaginable vulgar, verbal abuse.'
“Police were called and he had to be taken out of the hospital on a trolley. In interview he was unco-operative was unable to recall events.”
The attack went on for 25 minutes distressing other patients.
Boyd, who was unrepresented in court, did not apologise for the incident but told the court he suffered drink and drugs problems.
Addressing Boyd as he stood in the dock to receive his sentence, bench chairman Anne Parry said: “You have a severe drink and drug problem. We have a duty to protect the public and custody is our only option.”
Boyd was sentenced to 11 weeks in prison .
UK : East : Colchester Residents Ate all the (mince) Pies… From EADT...
http://www.eadt.co.uk/content/eadt/news/story.aspx?brand=EADOnline&category=News&tBrand=EADOnline&tCategory=news&itemid=IPED17%20Dec%202006%2023%3A11%3A40%3A303
Colchester hungriest for mince pies
18 December 2006 | 11:11
RODDY ASHWORTH
WHO ate all the pies?
Well, according to a national survey, the people of Colchester are having a pretty good go at doing so.
Because, for the third year running, it has emerged that the Essex borough is the hungriest in the country when it comes to that staple of Christmas fare, the traditional mince pie.
An astonishing 201,000 pies have already been eaten by Essex pie fanciers in the last month - as the area out-consumes its nearest rival by almost 30,000 pies.
Second in the competition to become mince pie capital of the UK was Hedge End in Southampton, with shoppers having bought 172,134 pies.
Emerson's Green in Bristol wasn't far behind with 168,192 pies, while residents of Chippenham bought 162,588, the survey by supermarket Sainsbury's showed.
John Priest, store manager at the Tollgate branch of Sainsbury's, yesterday said everyone at the out-of-town superstore was delighted with the record, and also at the rate at which pies were flying off the shelves.
“I think that over the last few years we have picked up on the fact that people round here really do like their mince pies,” he said.
“So we make sure we have a plentiful supply and that there is an attractive display.
“About three years ago we decided to put them out about a month before Christmas, and they sold better than ever. We seem to sell more and more each year.”
Mr Priest added all three types of mince pie at the supermarket - those from the in-store bakery, the deep filled variety and the Taste The Difference brand - were selling well.
He said the 24-hour store was hoping to sell a further 75,000 in the run up to December 25.
“There must be something about the people of Colchester,” he said. “I've never quite worked it out.”
Hannah Quarmby, Sainsbury's mince pie expert, said: “I really couldn't believe it when I saw this year's recent sales figures come in.
“Sales have out-stripped last year and if this trend continues we'll have our suppliers working overtime to make sure all our customers, especially in Colchester, Essex, have enough of the festive treats.”
Office party survival guide Office Party Survival Guide
There is no event with so much potential for disaster than the office party.
It's the time of year when pent-up frustrations, attraction, rivalry, jealousy and resentment are suddenly uncorked like a shaken-up bottle of bubbly.
Combine all this with a nightclub, restaurant and bar, add free or heavily subsidised booze, and you have all the makings of a disaster that can prove embarrassing for months. So, how to remain unscathed?
:weee: First, set yourself an alcohol limit, and stick to it. Don't get drunk just to prove how hip and carefree you are out of the office. Remember you are still at work. Someone, somewhere is watching you. And chances are they'll have a mobile phone and a subscription to You Tube.
:weee: Next, it's murder on the dancefloor. If you find yourself letting loose, ask yourself: 'Do I look like David Brent in The Office?' Don't get carried away and snog anyone in public. Wear big Bridget Jones pants so there will be no way you'll want to take them off.
:weee: Next, watch what you say. Just because you are in a pub doesn't mean you can tell everyone about Steve from stationary's embarrassing medical problem, or reveal that, yes, your boss and his secretary ARE having an affair. But don't talk shop either.
:weee: Conspicuous networking is a big no-no. You'll just look smarmy and toady.
If you bring your partner, be sure to include him or her in proceedings. And make sure he/she is well-briefed on office politics to avoid embarrassment.
If you want to leave early, make sure you have a genuine and believable excuse ready, but be prepared for this to be held against you for at least three months. Never be the last to leave a party.
Finally, if the booze starts flowing and you forget all this, just remember the words of American stand-up comedian Phyllis Diller: "What I don't like about office parties is looking for a new job the next day."
Marijuana is the USA’s biggest cash crop And now, from the homeland of prohibition, comes proof positive that drugs prohibition is STILL not working.....
The full story is here
Some choice tidbits to get you going :groucho:
Quote:
U.S. growers produce nearly $35 billion (18 billion pounds) worth of marijuana annually
:weee:
Quote:
Tom Riley, a spokesman for the U.S. Office of National Drug Control Policy, said he could not confirm the report's conclusions on the size of the country's marijuana crop. But he said the government estimated overall U.S. illegal drug use at $200 billion annually.
:crazy::crazy::crazy:
Quote:
Gettman said the 10-fold increase in U.S. marijuana production, from 1,000 metric tons in 1981 to 10,000 metric tons in 2006, showed the country was failing to control marijuana by making its cultivation and use illegal.
:laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at:
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