Bad Joke Thread

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

Maybe I should tell my boss about this idea :lol_big:

A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. The man asks,
“Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?” The nurse explains,
“The hot chocolate will help him sleep.” The man says,
“And the Viagra?”
“Stops him from falling out of bed.”

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

Nearly choked on my dinner over the past few posts :laugh_at:

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toilet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.

One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.

A voice came from the cubicle next to me: “Hello mate, how are you doing?”

Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn’t want to be rude, so I replied, “Not too bad, thanks.”

After a short pause, I heard the voice again. “So, what are you up to?”

Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, “Just having a quick shit… How about yourself?”

The next thing I heard him say was, “Sorry, mate, I’ll have to call you back. I’ve got some cunt in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say.”

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

@Tryptameanie 577519 wrote:

The last 2 posts are just plain facts I’m afraid.

So next time I’m with a man who “want” a blowjob I’ll just offer to be quiet for 10 min instead… wish I had known this earlier

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

It’s not just the silence that makes it amazing, anyway I don’t like it to be too silent 😉

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

That wasn’t what you said 😉

You have just ruined blowjobs for all men!

It’s over ….. muhahaha

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:

Noooooooooooooooooooo, god noooooooooooooooooooo

Anyway can you honestly tell me you don’t feel the same when a man goes down on you?

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

I never said that 😉

But I can please myself…………..

C==3

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

You’re a raging nympho Angel, no wonder you started that thread :laugh_at:

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

After getting out of the shower, a middle-aged woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of telling her it’s not so, as he had done for many years previously, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
“If you want your breasts to grow, try this. Every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.” Willing to try anything, the wife gets some toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
“How long will this take?” she asks.
“The effects aren’t immediate,” he replies, “but they’ll grow larger over a longish period of time.” The wife pauses and says,
“Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger?” The husband replies,
“Worked for your ass, didn’t it?”

:lol_fast::lol_fast::lol_fast::lol_fast:

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

A couple had just bought a new house. The husband turned to his wife and asked her to go to the hardware store and get a door hinge for him. She kindly agreed and left. When she got to the hardware store, she found the hinge she wanted and put it on the counter in front of the clerk. He noticed that she didn’t have any screws for it, so he asked her,
“Do you want a screw for that hinge?” She looked back at him and said,
“No, but I’ll give you a blow job for that toaster in the window.”

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

A man comes home from work and finds his wife screwing with his brother in the bedroom.
“What the hell do you think you are doing?!” the man asks.
“I’m riding a bus,” his brother replies.
“That’s a stupid thing to say!”
“It’s a bloody stupid thing to ask!”

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

A man awoke frightened in hospital after a serious accident, and started calling out to the doctor.
“Doctor, Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”
“I’m not surprised,” said the doctor, “I’ve cut your arms off.”

[1 eeezyuk @eeezyuk Member]

What’s black and doesn’t work?

Half of London

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

I will be watching Santa’s journey on Norad’s website very carefully this year.

If he goes to West Africa before coming to the UK, I’m bricking the chimney up.

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