In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Why, yes. I’ve known you since you were a little boy, and frankly you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people, and talk behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. So, in short, yes. Yes, I know you.”
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”
She replied, “Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone. His law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women – one of them was your wife! Yes, I know him.”
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench. When they did, he leaned over and in a quiet voice said, “If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair!”
