Wife From Hell A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, " I clocked
you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps
your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear,
you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife
and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar
detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector
unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
"Damit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your
seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah,
well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me
over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your
seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
Then as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns
to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always
talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
"Only
when he's been drinking
:cry:
k getting used as an antidepressant
Quote:
Monday, February 12, 2007
Ketamine is the fastest growing drug on the dance scene, the chemical of choice for tens of thousands of clubbers.
But the class C drug, which is abused for its hallucinogenic effects, is now being hailed by scientists as a breakthrough treatment for severe depressives.
New research has found that patients who have failed to respond to more conventional drugs can be cured of depression within as little as two hours with an injection of ketamine. A study by the National Institute of Mental Health in Maryland found that in a third of cases the mood-lifting effects of the horse tranquilliser, known as Special K on the street, lasted at least a week.
This compares with prescription antidepressants that can take up to eight weeks to have any positive impact on patients who are hard to treat. Experts say that it could pave the way for a new class of faster and longer-acting medications.
Researchers believe that ketamine reduces depression-like symptoms in treatment of resistant people by blocking the protein or receptor in the brain that regulates mood, unlike antidepressants currently prescribed by doctors.
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/article2262422.ece
Was I going insane? Greetings,
I have acquired some ketamine and it brings me back to when I last had some. Mabey last summer. I had gone through quite a bit, over 1.5g to myself in daily use. I came back from work and when I was going to bed I heard old school telephone ring in my head just quickly once, then it was gone. On another occasion I had kind of a buzz for a split second in the middle of my brain. Was I going crazy or was the K fucking with me. Is this normal?
-mush
lent……….. John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic neighborhood. On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill. Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each Friday of Lent.
On the last Friday of Lent, the neighborhood men got together and decided that something had to be done about John. He was tempting them to eat meat each Friday of Lent, and they couldn't take it anymore. They decided to try and convert John to be a Catholic. They went over and talked to him and were so happy that he decided to join all of his neighbors and become a Catholic. They took him to Church, and the Priest sprinkled some water over him, and said, "You were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, and now you are Catholic." The men were so relieved, now their biggest Lenten temptation was resolved.
The next year's Lenten season rolled around. The first Friday of Lent came, and just at supper time, when the neighborhood was setting down to their tuna fish dinner, came the wafting smell of steak cooking on a grill. The neighborhood men could not believe their noses! WHAT WAS GOING ON?
They called each other up and decided to meet over in John's yard to see if he had forgotten it was the first Friday of Lent. The group arrived just in time to see John standing over his grill with a small pitcher of water. He was sprinkling some water over his steak on the grill, saying,
"You were born a cow, you were raised a cow, and now you are a fish." __________________
2007-01-13 S:B:I (Lowestoft) Drum & Bass
SUB:BASS:INVADERS are back once again on Saturday 13th january 2007 @ Bluenotes 2, Lowestoft. from 9pm-2am.
After a great success in 2006, we hope to bring you more HEAVY Drum and Bass nights in 2007.
We're starting the year with a Back to Back session with..
DJs-
XNTRIX & Mr.Anderson (S:B:I)
Deviant Nature & C4 (Bio-Tech & Distortion)
Grayz & Malicious
Dominator & Jay Nash (Distortion)
Sick One & Vicarious
MCs-
Herbalist
Badboy B
Remo
Azza B
£5 Entry ALL NIGHT..!!
Over 18s Only. I.D. Required.
Heavy PureSounds RIG so you know what to expect.
Free Gabba, Breakcore, Techno n DNB in Sheffield Oh My Fucking Days! Tell yer nan! TINNITUS Returns!!!1!!1!1!
with . . .
'The St Patrick's Day Massacre', 17 March 2007, 9 - VERY late (Licence TBC), @ The Red House, Solly Sreet, Sheffield, UK.
GUFF:
Sheffield's foremost purveyors of electronic chaos, TINNITUS, in association with the Danger:Noise soundsystem are cracking out their first event of 2007 at Red House on Solly St
http://www.redhouse-sheffield.co.uk/contact.html
LIVE ACTS confirmed to play on the night:
Machinochrist
www.machinochrist.co.uk
Expect complete and utter dancefloor maceration with South London's no. 1 exponent of unrelenting middleclass whiteboy angercore. And he's met the Chuckle Brothers. Respect!
Robot Ninja Dinosaur Bastards
www.myspace.com/robotninjadinosaurbastards
Hailing from the pit of depravity that is sunny Brighton, expect a total aural assault battery of filthy lo-fi beats, immense metals riffs, wrestling masks and lots of screaming. And some poo, if we're lucky. And maybe even some silly string . . .
PEOPLE PLAYING RECORDS confirmed:
Distorted Panda (TINNITUS)
ESKOLOI (TINNITUS)
Sam TINNITUS (er . . .)
Bee-log (TINNITUS/Marionette Records)
SinistaTek (Stoke!)
Tek Rich (Danger:Noise)
Broadly sticking to a music policy of GABBER, BREAKCORE, FUCK OFF DNB, NOISE, MENTALISM AND VERY, VERY HARD TECHNO the above resident and guest DJs will be keeping you entertained, and possibly amused, for the rest of the night.
And you know what? It's free.
'Nuff said.
We'll see you there . . .
love
The TINNITUS crew x x x
freeware Win32 network monitoring software I'm looking for some free/open source software that does network traffic and packet monitoring. Is Ethereal still the best for this, or has better stuff been developed since?
UK : East : High school kid speared in neck by giant lolly stick! ouch! that has to be one of the freakiest accidents I have heard of...
glad everyone did the right thing and he is OK...
http://www.eadt.co.uk/content/eadt/news/story.aspx?brand=EADOnline&category=News&tBrand=EADOnline&tCategory=news&itemid=IPED21%20Feb%202007%2023%3A12%3A06%3A287
FROM an early age, most children are given the message that sweets are bad for their teeth and their health.
But no one could ever have imagined the sticky situation one youngster found himself in because of a sugar-coated lolly.
And the upper school pupil might just have been put off from eating naughty treats once and for all after a freak accident led to a very lucky escape and a trip to hospital.
The 16-year-old was relaxing with friends at the Mildenhall College of Technology when a giant splintered lolly stick flew towards him, embedding itself in his neck.
Rather than trying to free the offending item, the savvy youngster immediately informed his teachers of the incident and was taken to West Suffolk Hospital in Bury St Edmunds where, after a four-hour wait in accident and emergency, the stick was finally removed.
Last night, a spokesman for the East of England Ambulance Service said the youngster had been “very lucky” that the stick - which had flown across the room with such force it pierced his neck and nearly came out the other side - had missed his windpipe or any other vital arteries.
The extraordinary event has left staff so shocked that letters have now been sent home to parents warning them of the dangers of the novelty lollies, which are believed to be around two feet long.
Headteacher Terry Lewis said the youngster, who had to have stitches to mend the wound caused by the wooden stick, was back at school and fully recovered from the shock of the accident.
“One of the sixth form boys had come into college after half term and had a novelty lolly on a stick,” said Mr Lewis. “He was waving it, when all of a sudden the stick broke and the sweet flew out of his hand, hitting another boy - who was sitting a couple of meters away - in the neck.
“The pupil was very lucky, because the lolly could have stuck anywhere and it could have been a lot more serious.
“We had already banned all sweets from being sold at school for health reasons. Obviously pupils bring things in that we are not in control of, but we do not want to see any more lollies in school.”
Ambulance service spokesman Matthew Ware said a first responder arrived at the school within six minutes of getting the emergency call, at just after 10.30am on Monday, followed closely by a land ambulance.
“Paramedics cut the lolly off the stick, leaving the actual stick in the youngster's neck, and rushed him to hospital,” he said.
“The boy was very lucky, as the incident could have been a lot worse.”
Anyone go to Confessions-Banbury? yeh it was a weekend or so ago and it was really good, nice little club wasnt to mega hot like the coven, my friend played, was very good, i was the shooter at the back shoutin!hahah
Windows Vista So, which Windows users will be moving over to Vista in the next month then?
(Some of you may already have an evaluation copy)
Not sure if I'm going to bother. I haven't used it properly yet but it looks like a lot of eye candy and no real improvements. Seems like a resource hog too.
Mind you, that's what almost everyone was saying about XP when it arrived.12
advice needed PLEASE PEOPLE! fuk knos what im gonna do :( okay so not november jus gone but the one before i split with my fiance of 5 years (1st love with him since 14, lived together etc) it was a messy breakup, he really was a cunt (sorry!) to me. a few months after the split i start getting closer to an aquaintece that hung with my circle of friends, we got close, started speanding most days together sleeping togther etc....i was really sure i wanted this, he was unsure, then he was on it and i was unsure, i decided that it was way too soon after my ex to get into anything serious, so we agreed to stay frineds, still sleep together but thats it, we shared an amazing summer together and i had never been this close to a man other than my ex, but i knew i didnt feel like i could fall in love again so quickly.....by this time he had fallen in love with me and wanted us to be together, but i just coulndt make that commitment.
We came to the conclusion that it was great while it lasted but it would stop as we were moving to differnt cities. We kept in touch still very close, talking everyday and anytime i went to his city or he came to mine we would always end up sleeping together. Then finally i could see it wasnt good for either of us to be carrying on like this, it was clouding my head and he was hurting as he loved me and really wanted us to be together. So i decided to lay it donw straight and tell him nothing is ever going to happen (in my head i felt that maybe i was making a wrong decsiion, he is an amazingly good man, gorgeous, kind, caring, he would really look after me, but i go with my feelings and instinct, my emotions rule me and it just didnt feel 100% right)
So we agree to stay firm friends, but ease up on the phonecalls...
so we have abreak and then get back in touch, gettin on great again and i remember how much i love this guy. time passes (few months)
Then he tells me hes met a girl at a party and they clicked instantly and he really likes her, and was really happy. then something switched inside me i hated it. He had been with other girls off and on while we were of and on and it never bothered me. But this time it was somthig different, i hadnt felt this much strong felings towards him before, i was jelous and scared id lost him and it would be too late, i felt i wanted him so much and felt i had been so stupid not see what had been right in front of me. So i made a grand gesture jumped on a coach to surprise him, turned up n his doorstep to talk things over and stay, and he said that he would need time to get his head around it all... me just changing all of a sundden. So he never saw the girl again...
So, now we're together its been 3 weeks, and already i know that it wasnt a realization of how in love i was with him, but just the green eyed monster in its worst possible form.........
especially after going to raindance this weekned and out of the blue meeting the most beautiful guy whom i clicked with straight away and cant stop thinking about...
i feel like a compleate bitch, eaten up with guilt, and was so stupid and made such a rash decision at a silly time. The guy has been my best friend for a year and i have alreday caused him pain was i wasnt ready to commit in the past, never intentionally have i ever messed him around, i just find it hard to decipher my feelings, so have alwyas been straight with him.
arrrgh, what the fuk have i done and what am i going to do now....
i dont feel like i can just call it off, i really cant, especailly as we have the same group of frineds and everyone said to me 'look you had better be serious about it this time, coz you'll really hurt him if not' Us getting together at last, all our frineds are really happy for us and its been made into a big deal....
i feel that now i should at least give it a go?? he DOES make me happy, he makes me laugh and i do love him, i just dont feel 'IN LOVE' with him, kno what i mean. and now i feel like he could of been really happy with that girl and i could be hapy with this new guy....
what a mess.....any advice very welcome, asap!
:) thanks in advance
Another petition: ID cards, Drugs, IR35, tax and transport! Yes that's probably too much to really go in one petition, but I managed to squeeze it into the limit. It's a very personal set of issues, and it's aimed at the next PM since we all know Bliar is a dead duck and only listens to his inner circle. But I believe the ID card lunacy, the failed War On Some Drugs, and over-taxation of small firms like mine, all drag every one of us down.
I would like to see the UK turned back into a free, liberal and prosperous country. I believe these are the four most serious and expensive issues facing the country at the moment. Am I just a nostalgic old hippy or do I have a chance of getting this noticed ? If you have time, please have a look at my justifications at Roll Back Blair's Government and maybe follow the link at the bottom to the petition itself ?
Thanks loads!
Nick
UK : "ID cards culture" being introduced by "stealth?" Anyone else reckon that Government and wider society (by supporting controls on youth culture) is using age restrictions to introduce a culture of carrying some form of photo ID cards, particularly officially approved or checked ones?
Loads of places round here seem to demand ID and are getting harsher on it - its not like what it was in the 90s when you could blag it quite easily or make up fake ID, the rules are actually being enforced.... and some security firms are carding everyone now even if they definitely look old enough claiming that this is "preventing discrimination"...
Worst of all it works and is very effective - people aren't going to risk spending loads on travel and tickets to be split apart from their friends and refused entry, so many simply give in to the systems demands...
I'm also lucky enough to be quite young looking despite my real age (most people on first sight think I am aged 18-23) - it was more a compliment but these age controls are becoming a hassle -
its actually putting me off attending a lot of legal events here which I would love to go to as I don't actually currently have any photo ID (my passport is expired and I don't have a photo driving license as I don't drive!)
Not sure what to do; as I don't want to just give in like this but I fear I am gonna be forced to get some form of ID card just to socialise which is a bit of a pisstake IMO...
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